private the more things stay the same

Nov 17, 2022
401
80
28
"I think Beesong said you would be free to leave the den in the next sunrise or so."

Ravenpaw remarked, clearing his throat as he sorted through another pile of herbs he had not learned the name or use of. There was no room for dabbling around in his line of work—not when the number of injured cats was growing with the new threats they encountered every few days.

Iciclefang's admittance to the medicine cat den had been something Ravenpaw missed because of his migraine fits. Everytime he looked at the patchwork tortoiseshell fur laying in her nest, he was reminded that Ashpaw was gone. Ravenpaw could not say he and Iciclefang were friends. Perhaps even with how he sulked when she made some remark about his warrior skills or drypaw status, one could even say he disliked her. However, that feeling had started to wane every day she spent in the medicine den. He felt guilty about it—how shallow was he to suddenly feel bad for something he was not too fond of only because she had a great misfortune upon her?

Therefore, Ravenpaw had limited his speak to the new warrior to only small talk or professional needs for her recovery. Today, which might be her last day, he decided he ought to change that.

"I imagine you've been feeling as if you have bees in your brain the longer you stay in here." He tried to smile, but he was bad at smiling and it looked more like a grimace.

@ICICLEFANG

 
Ravenpaw is right, of course. Every second she’s been kept in the medicine cat’s den has seemed like years to the once-active young warrior. She’s in her twelfth moon, the first full moon of her warriorhood, and she’s been kept from her duties because of a foolish mistake. The mottled she-cat looks up with an expression of gratitude, though she does not crack a smile. “Good,” she murmurs, throwing a glance toward the young jet-black tom as he sorts through piles of herbs.

Bees in more than just my brain, yes. This is the longest I’ve ever gone without training.” She lowers her chin to rest upon white paws, studying the medicine cat apprentice with a neutral expression. He of the kittypet background, his loner father having been chased from their borders—she had helped to do that, she remembers. This is the most he’s spoken to her since she’s become one of Beesong’s patients. Perhaps he hasn’t forgotten her ferocity toward the loner claiming fatherhood.

She stretches, the burn in her muscles reminding her of the time she’s lost. “I’m going to have to be an apprentice again by the time I can actually patrol,” she partially grumbles. “I’ve been training hard since I was three moons old… and I never had more than a day off at a time. It feels…” She runs her tongue around her mouth as though she can taste defeat and boredom. “It feels wrong.

After a few heartbeats, Iciclefang ponders Ravenpaw as he goes about his duties. Clerical duties now, no longer patrolling borders and hunting for his Clan. And as a drypaw, he’d never felt the thrill she does, surging through the river with churning paws.

She tilts her head, eyes narrowing in thought. “Do you miss it at all? Warrior training? Or is this…” She gestures loosely with a forepaw to the entirety of Beesong’s den, “what you’ve always wanted to do?


[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]
 
Iciclefang doesn't need to tell him that it is the longest she had gone without training. It was evident by anyone who even briefly knew her that the tortoiseshell was one of the most hardworking apprentices. There was no point in pointing it out, however, so a twitch of his ear showed that he acknowledged it and understood. The longest he had been away from apprentice duties had been right after the WindClan raid—the scar across his face still ached. During that time was when he had gotten interested in the path of medicine. He knew Iciclefang would not have the same trajectory of recovery.

"Well," He cleared his throat again, taking care with his many-toed paws to not destroy the brittle leaves of the herb he was working with. "I'm sure you know, but it wouldn't do you any better—perhaps even worse—if you refused to let yourself recovery." Here he broke away from his task and looked back at the warrior, his blue-green eyes level but almost tired. "In fact, it is possibly the most right thing a warrior could do." He offered with a twitch of his shoulders, holding his breath and looking back at the herbs.

He had always thought about the answer to Iciclefang's next question. The tension from his shoulders relaxed and he sighed. "When I first started, after I was found here—I did not think of learning medicine, though it intrigued me—the knowledge part of it. But Gloompaw was here then. There was no business of mine to bother thinking about a path that was already closed. Some part of me always thought I would nev—" He caught himself and sneezed to pass the time less awkwardly. He could not admit a weakness in front of Iciclefang. Not now, but maybe when they were more comfortable. "—thought there might be a different path for me. But I never seriously thought about medicine until I was recovering in Beesong's den after the WindClan battle. I don't miss warrior training. I'm good at this—memorizing and learning remedies and craft. Learning," He closed his eyes. "About what lies beyond the stars."

He trailed off.

"I suppose the only thing I am frustrated with is being a named paw for much longer than anyone else." He was about two moons older than Iciclefang and her siblings, but this extra training would keep him as a 'paw for many more moons. He suddenly thought of something else, a different topic to keep the onus off him. It was getting uncomfortable.

"Do you want an apprentice soon?"


 
The tortoiseshell blinks. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. There’s no point in a warrior refusing to listen to the advice of medicine cats.” She tucks herself back into the moss, eyes fixed on the cat who’d once been her peer. He tells her the idea of learning medicine had always interested him, and that he does not miss warrior training. Ravenpaw states it’s learning that interests him—learning to heal, and learning about what lies beyond the stars.

Have you spoken with them? StarClan?” It’s the one part about a medicine cat’s duties that intrigues her, though she has no interest in doing it herself. “I always wondered about that. What it’s like to speak with the dead.

Ravenpaw says something candid then—about how he is frustrated about being named ‘paw for so much longer than the rest of his former peers. Iciclefang lets out a low mrrow of sympathy. “Perhaps Beesong will be so impressed with your abilities that he’ll take pity on you,” she says dryly. “Still… I can see your point.

An apprentice soon. “I did,” she said, some of the arrogance melting away from her features. “But I could not keep Ashpaw safe. I don’t know that I should be trusted with… with another young cat.” It’s an admission that hurts to make.


[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]