the night we met / chilledstar

[spectermask]

Winds howled throughout the camp, and to his frustration, not once does the pine trees surrounding them buffer it at all. But thats fine, because his visit to camp would be brief. Avoidance is something he excelled in, and his absence from camp may very well not have even gone noticed... Besides their apprentice, and their friend, but both of them surely are used to the isolation he puts himself through. Today he returns once more to drop off his catch, a simple blackbird that had been slowed by the coming storm. Pure luck, as the marshes recover from leafbare, as newleaf turns to greenleaf.

Camp was barren. And inside the nursery does he hear cries of hungry kits, carried on the wind, and in the warriors den does he hear soft warbling, a melody cut through. Bitterness begins to seep in to his blood, igniting it with a spark as he grinds his jaw. Their cue to leave, they guess.

And as they turn to make their great escape, theres a slinking form at the mouth of the leaders den. Specter heart stops, skips a beat inside a rattled ribcage, and eyes shut briefly. I should let them be, Specter turns his head back to the entrance once more. But you're sad! cries the little voice in his head, frustration apparent as he now grinds his teeth together. And he was, oh, he is, and whenever he is sad, there is one cat, one being that he can stand being around, that he feels safe around.

"Chilled!" he calls their name like a child for their parent, snow dipped paws carry him over and he stands before them much akin to a lost puppy. "Hello. Can we talk?" he asks, and he longs for nothing more than to curl up at their side and get a half decent nights rest for the first time in what felt like moons. "About anything. Everything," and he's not one for begging but it comes out as one, a distraction, he needs a distraction. I miss you. And he does, he misses catching up with them, oh, he feels guilt begin to creep in.

// @CHILLEDSTAR. ​

"speech"​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

the sound of their name draws them from their thoughts. they don't even truly remember what they were thinking about, or if they were thinking at all. perhaps not. or perhaps they were thinking all too much, and couldn't pin point one thing. they don't know. they twitched their ears back and forth, gaze moving up to the sight of their friend which makes them stand. they've missed them, more than they can describe with words. they bump against him, broken purr rumbling in their chest before they nod, raspy voice smoothing itself like honey... as much as it could.

"yes. come on."

they say, moving to gesture to their den. they don't wait to look back and see if they're being followed. they can only assume. they settle in their nest, making room for spectermask to do the same. they've missed this, to be quite honest. they loved their time together. there is a small list of cats they truly enjoy spending time with, and spectermask was on that list.

"are you alright? you look exhausted."

they know them better than they think. they know he isn't okay. they only hope that they will talk to them. please talk to me.
​

 

[spectermask]

He nearly lets himself cry, but he keeps up his appearances, a soft sigh tumbling from their mouth. Chilled graciously accepts, and their purr is kind as they bump his shoulder. They turn to move in to their den, and Spectermask doesn't move at first. A certain loneliness settles in their heart, hollow-feeling with no room to talk. Regret, maybe? No, not regret, claws flex in the marsh earth below. Theres a mental struggle but he decides to let himself indulge, paws following after them.

They settle in their next, warm and inviting, and Specter settles in to their side like a man depraved. His head pounds, it screams at him, but a gentle purr starts to rumble from his chest. No amount of self-loathing, brain-hating thoughts could pry him away from the comfort of his friend, not right now. I deserve to be loved, he reiterates in his head. Chilled's voice snaps them out of their mind. "Huh?" they mumble slightly, squinting their eyes before their words connect within their head. Oh. "Haven't slept in a while." he grunts lightly, shifting his head in his nest.

He places his forehead against the nest below. It's enough to almost lull him to sleep.

"Too much going on. Too many thoughts." they speak after a moment, another sigh. They want to talk about it, truly, but they struggle. How do I even begin? "Been thinking of Mom and Dad." he leaves it at that. He does not explain how he relives the moments where he slashes out with unsheathed claws. He does not tread upon their inability to accept him, always referred to as their god-forsaken daughter. Flashes of white bloodied muzzle, liquid dripping in to grass below, a moon hangs in the night-sky. The only witness to his crime, silenced by the passing of time.

For more times than a normal cat would, he finds himself glad that they're gone. Taken by his own paws. He reminds himself once more that he's in a place where he is loved, cared for.

"And Eerie." he mumbles, pressing his forehead further in to the ground. "I still think about the raid Pitchstar sent on Thunderclan." and how terrified I had been, he wrinkles his nose. The scar on his shoulder, cut deep by the rat that tried to stop him from getting to Eerie, dully aches. He feels bad for dumping all of this, but he's glad that they listen. He truly couldn't ask for anyone better.

A change of subject, maybe? If they choose not to respond to the previous. He would not blame them, he felt lighter now that it was out, anyways. "But whats new with you?" he raises his head, stares at them through a fond gaze.​

"speech"​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

---

a frustrated growl grumbled within them at the very mention of his parents. they, much like their own father, did not deserve a son like spectermask. they know that they cannot help it, but they only wish for their friend to be happy. but they don't say a thing. they simply listen, before they move to draw their tongue across their chest.

"we aren't talking about me, spectermask. just talk to me. i know i'm leader now but you're one of the most important cats in the world to me. you're my best friend. i want to know all your thoughts. the good, the bad, and the ugly. and i want you to be okay. so, tell me."

they speak up, moving to press against their friend in comfort. they are seeking to give it to him. he deserves that much... and they promised they would always give it when they can. no matter about their own– the only thing that mattered in this moment was spectermask and making sure he was okay or at least going to be.
​