sensitive topics the night we met ;; death.

[leopardcloud]

// warning for character death, descriptions of starvation + blood.

Her vision has faded, leaving only darkness cloaked in familiar smells and sounds; though everything seems far away, Leopardcloud is never alone. Burr is sat by her side, grooming her filthy fur until it was shining despite its dullness from her disease's consequences. Her body is nearly skin and bones, the smell of death eminent in the air; filtered by the calming scent of lavender and chamomile. She's outside of the elder's den tonight, having asked to be beneath the stars when she goes. She knew it was coming, she knew StarClan would come to claim her soon. She swears she can smell hints of her mother's flowery, heather-filled scent in the air, but she must be hallucinating.

"Squirrel.. Coyote.." She gasps out, her breaths ragged- barely a voice and moreso a ghost-like wail. Her eyes are glazed over, evidence of her blindness- no part of her body moves, her mouth barely opened to let her voice creak out. Her beloved children, it was tragic they had to see her like this. "Someone get them.. Someone.." She whispers out, the wind blowing cold winds against her fur- but she feels nothing. It's almost terrifying, being blind at the end of her life. But the scent of Burr, the feeling of his paw against her head, soothing her wails and whimpers of terror. It calms her.

"I need.. To tell them the truth.. They.. Deserve to know.."

// you can reply before the kits do!​

 

[Sporecloud]

Amanita hadn't left the elders den the last few days. It was coming, she knew. Emerald gaze solemn and dull as she looked upon Leopardcloud. Life was cruel and heartless. She had barely begun to live, and now she was going to die. They had so little time together.

It wasn't FAIR.

Life wasn't fair.

She leaned her head forward and gently licked Leopardcloud's head. She couldn't imagine what this must be like for her. To know the end was nigh, that she wouldn't see another sunrise.

She didn't know what to say.

"Hush, mon amour. They will be here." She said quietly. "Save your strength."

She was trying to keep herself together.
​

 

[Coyotecrest]

I won't apologize for being who I am

He is greeted by the sight of a feline coming to fetch him as he arrives back in camp, clutching a delicate flower between his teeth. He'd been lucky to find the resilient blossom, given the cooler temperatures. It was the flora's tenacity that reminded him so much of Leopardcloud. Able to wear a smile or remain optimistic despite the bodily storm she weathered. The boy's brows immediately pinch in response to the feline's urgency and before long large cream paws bring him close to the fading molly. He stifles a frown that threatens to paint itself across the young tom's features the moment he laid eyes upon her. She looked more ragged than when he left out this morning and there was no doubt death was ready to claim its prize.

That night he spent in the forest, questioning starclan's intentions came flooding back to him as he continued to gaze upon his sister. Thistleback was right, their silence was their own version of no. But that did not make it any easier for Coyote to accept. His lips quiver momentarily, forcing a smile that was so fragile he was sure it would shatter give the chance. "Be strong...for Leopardcloud, for Squirrelkit..." The thought fumbles through his racing mind as he takes in a shuddering breath. "H-hey Leopardcloud...I brought you another flower." Coyote whispers softly, visage dipping to place the delicate blossom within the crook of her ear.

He pulls back just far enough to rasp his tongue comfortingly over her head. Carefully he positions himself beside her, the length of his fluffy tail aiming to wrap around Leopardcloud as he lays down. "Someone said you needed me...I'm sorry if I was gone long too."​

Tryna throw shade on me say a lot 'bout you​

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[Snowpath]

He didn't go inside the den, hovered like a pale shadow at the entrance and peered inside with golden eyes like the sun that seemed cold as the snow for which he was named for; that he had never seen. He wondered if cats liked snow. He wondered if snow was ominous, he wondered if snow was lethal.
The dappled apprentice had stepped to the side to allow Coyotepaw in but said nothing to the other as he passed, choosing to instead silently observe with uncertainty. It was strange. He knew Leopardcloud was going to die but it had never really registered properly. It had never settled. It hadn't seemed real before, but it felt more real now. She looked horrible. Perhaps it was mean to be staring like he was, but he had never seen a cat so very blatantly on the edge of death that she could tip over into the depths at any moment. It was terrifying...
It must feel even worse for Coyotepaw and Squirrelkit-Squirrelpaw. She was an apprentice now. He wondered if she was excited or if her sister's lingering death was like a dark cloud overhead. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like.

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[sheepcurl]

She doesn’t claim to personally know Leopardcloud that well, other than the fact that she had brought her siblings here, for a good life, for a better life than they would have in Windclan and that in itself has earned Churro’s respect tenfold. She was a fighter, Churro would make sure she would be honored, would make sure that Leopard knows her siblings would be well taken care of.

She’s silent as she approaches the scene, eyes solemn. She had stayed behind later in camp, to spend time with her fellow clanmates, but it feels so soon for Leopard to go. It wasn’t fair, how life took the good, let the evil stay and a heavy exhale leaves her nose. Eyes rake over poor Coyotepaw and she can only imagine the pain the poor kid is probably in. “We’re here, little conejito.” Coyotepaw could always count on them in the coming of whatever truth Leopard was going to lay on them. She wants to assure Leopard, tell her it’s alright, that she has been such a strong person and that she deserved to relax, but her breath catches in her throat as her eyes water.

She cannot imagine how it feels, to be so in pain, to be ripped away from your siblings so early. She wouldn’t even get to see them become warriors and Churro tips her head up, rapidly blinking. She doesn’t cry much, but Leopard has been such an uplifting presence that she knows the clan will mourn her end for days to come. “Tell me if you need anything, amigo.” she whispers towards Leopard, idling nearby. If she wanted water, then by the Stars she will get her water.

It will be the last few minutes tonight that the air would be silent, void of any mourning wails and cries.

 

[MORNINGBIRD]

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Two and a half moons.

He had known Leopardcloud for only two and a half moons.

Known her kindness and her tired laughter. Known the way that her and Amanita had grown a love that was never meant to blossom. The fierce way she had fought all this time to see her siblings through. How much the clan loved and valued her, in a way he had fallen into as well, as if she were one of his own children. He sits with her now, helping her loved ones block the cold from her form, so death would not take her cold and shivering. So they would take her proud and standing so stubbornly strong in the path to the stars, where she would hang in the most beautiful of constellations, he was sure of it. There was no firmer a fact in that moment. "This is not a battle lost," He whispers to her, voice forced calm and steady. "You're taking your opponent down with you, and you steal their victory with honor." Morningbird, Burr, he had seen her strength even if Leopardcloud found herself frail. He would refuse to tell her story as someone who was taken, as someone who lay helpless. He would tell the story of a true warrior, tell the story of a big sister, of someone's almost lover. Of a flower who had bloomed from the love of those around her, in spite of everyone who said she couldn't.

'Do not weep, not while she still breathes, not while her family still shakes with their sobs.' He tells himself, forcing down thoughts of 'Its not fair' 'She's so young' 'Could we have done anything?' with the force of an entire colony. He had been told by the other elders, that it would be their job to prepare and bury her when the time comes, and he wonders briefly, if she would like to become a tree. It is inappropriate to ask, he had never thought to before, but perhaps if he finds a seedling, he will bury it with her so the squirrels cannot reach it. So she might have a stronger connection to her family in the time after. ​

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header by lleafeons on DA, fancy via chérie​

 

[Squirrel]

Squirrelkit knew that this was going to be the last time she saw her sister.

She knew from the very depths of her being, from the uncontrollable shaking that took over to the deep, sunken feeling in her core. What good was she going to do watching her sister die? She was going to lose the one she loved most in this world and just sit there and do nothing? she didn't know if she could do it.

The runner that came to fetch her was greeted by a frantically pacing kit, paws darkened by the soil she'd worn away. Small furrows lined the earth near her, clawed, kicked, and dragged into existence. She would have to get everything out now or risk doing something awful, maybe crying again. She didn't want Leopardcloud's last moments to be hearing her cry. She couldn't handle it if that happened. She knew she couldn't. Her eyes were sunken and tired, evidence of a night spent unable to settle.

She looked a mess when she got to Leopardcloud's side but it wasn't as though Leopardcloud could see her. Squirrelkit couldn't bring herself to say anything as she laid herself down opposite to Coyotepaw, nestling herself beside her sister. She knew that nothing she could say would be right. How were you supposed to say your final words to someone?
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[leopardcloud]

Ah, the smell of her children- they surrounded her, the scents of her clanmates merging into one until Leopardcloud feels light with happiness. She chokes back a sob as she feels Coyotepaw settle a flower at her paws, sweet-smelling and gentle against her nose. It allowed her to breathe just a bit easier, the rattling of her lungs and the aching of her body numbing. Squirrelpaw comes to lay on her other side, and Leopardcloud smiles despite being unable to see her. Amanita is there, cradling her with all the love and affection she could have given her, with Churrodream offering water.

"No thank you.. You're kind, Churrodream.." She wheezes out in thanks, the smell of Burr fresh on her nose. It twitches in response, and a small, shaky smile takes its place on her lips. "You're the most honorable man I've ever met, Burr- Or, well, it's Morningbird now, isn't it? Suits you." She hums to the tom, her breathing growing ragged for a moment. Not now, please- just a few more seconds. She wills her body to remain for just a few moments, to give her the freedom she needed. Just for now. The wheezing stops for a moment, and Leopardcloud is quick to draw her kits' attention to her. "Coyote, Squirrel.. I know this is.. Hngh.. The worst possible time to tell you, and I'm.. S-So sorry for burdening you with this knowledge. You are my children, the blood of my blood. Not my siblings. Everything I told you, about what WindClan was like for us, was true. Though the horrible man I spoke of is your father, in truth. Your father is a cruel man, he.. He.. Did horrible things to us. You must not return to him, you must not let him know who you are. I had to.. To pretend you were my siblings, to keep you safe. To keep you alive." She wheezes out, coughing suddenly- blood splattering the ground as a sudden pain wracks her spine, her bones aching painfully. "I understand being upset that I.. Kept your lineage from you. But I regret nothing. I love you both completely, fully, wholly. You will always be my children." She splutters out, a whine of agony leaving her as her head manages to roll back a little, ears rubbing against the ground. "I only hope that I did the right thing.. That I made you proud, as your sister and as your mother. I wasn't much of a Warrior, and I apologize for that. I love you two so, so much- Amanita, you.. I.. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry I.. Couldn't spend enough.. Time with you.."

A ragged breath leaves her chest, and Leopardcloud feels a tear slip down her cheek, blinded green eyes staring past the group as if seeing past them. Her heartbeat picks up as two starry figures make their way through the darkness, the woman hiccuping softly. "Mother?" She wheezes aloud, a weak sob leaving her chest as she feels everything begin to fade away. Fading, fading, fading.. Until things go dark, and she's opened her eyes to see her body on the ground, surrounded by the cats of SkyClan she cared most for. Breath fading out, until her body goes completely still.

Dappled in whites and red and blacks, Autumnfall stands in her starry glory not far from the rest of the cats, a gentle smile on her lips. Leopardcloud turns then, noticing that she can move freely once again; and rushes over to the starry figure. "Mama! Oh, mama.." She cries out, hurling herself into the other starry form. Her mother smiles, and while she looks so youthful, there's a sense of pity in her eyes. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry you had to live such a short, hard life, Leopardcloud.." She cried softly, and Leopardcloud licks the starry tears away, turning back to her grieving kits, her lover- Snowpaw, his precious face twisted in emotion that she knew he couldn't quite understand. "No, I don't regret it.. This was my home. Even if my time in SkyClan was short, it was home." She mutters softly, watching as cats began to gather around- pushing themselves into her scrawny pelt. "I will see them again one day. All of them. We must return to StarClan eventually, after all.."​

 

[DAWNGLARE]

Idly, he sits by. For once reserved, his face set in thin-lipped neutrality and his tail around his paws. He's an outsider—shadow at the edge of clearing, away from those who truly knew her. Feeble little things approach with glass over their eyes. Delicate and strange, the half-blood draws near. The stem of something lovely ruffles just barely between his teeth, and— delicately, petals are tucked within her fur.

He hadn't known her well— hardly at all, outside of their few passings by... a few visits, devoid of any results. A mysterious plague held her in a vice-grip, crawled beneath her skin and ripped her apart inside out. One of the world's many wonders. One of the world's many horrors, and... maybe strange, for those who have not lived quite long enough. sun-and-moon-mottled fur, a speechless form, helpless in her sister's presence, and... her— plague-bearer, vessel for chaos; she remains chatty in her very last moments.

She isn't a sister, but rather, mother; and so sadly, she sags. Her voice rasps and wails, ghoulish croaks between the murmuring of words. Quieter and quieter she falls, until there's nothing left. Nothing more. The wailing ceases. The ringing, the ringing— no, all falls still. Dawnglare tilts his head. It's slight, accompanied by the furrowing of his brow. An obligation, is it not? Traveler between world's, he strikes forward. Death permeates the air, red-rot and sickness. Soon, he'd have to gather more sweets. Cover it up, don't let it be heard, seen, or smelt, but first...

"Gone to the stars," he says. A dull-set gaze drags over these gathered few. Their faces so solemn, their eyes shadowed with something he cannot place. His jaw ticks. "Relish some time with her." They would see her again, eventually, in the stars. Sorrow now so you can sorrow later. Save it for the sky. With a lingering glance to the old thing—cluster of leaf-fall, weeping willow—he turns, and away, away he goes, for now.​

 

[ThistleBack]

Wordlessly Thistleback watches, eyes lidded halfway in somber respect as he glances toward Coyote, the boy carries with him a flower. Rebellious to the breath of winter, a natural survivor like this small and ephemerally cursed family he now watched over.

As Coyote passes Snowpaw, the piebald levels the kid with a stare. Lower jaw rotating with silent approval as the blue and white tom keeps his words to himself. Maw locked into a hard scowl, it was the only face he could make when he felt that nagging tug. that unnamed feeling when you watch someone you had grown to care about, fade into oblivion. Squirrelpaw lays on her other side , Burr, Amanita, and Churro encase her with the love she deserved so much earlier than this moment.

Camp is ladden in a certain gloom, a thin but smothering blanket of life and death’s reciprocity, one could feel it in the skin no matter how thick the callus. Cold and inevitable, sunken in on the woman’s bones as her unbeknownst son- places behind her pale groomed ear that flower he carries in his teeth for no other purpose than to make her feel loved.

Leopardcloud speaks. When she does- it unravels without caution because there is no time for it. She is losing her life, and she must, tell them. Thistleback is a statue as he watches the faces of Squirrel and Coyote- as they learn the truth.

Their father, would know death before his children. Of this, the daylight warrior could focus his emotions on. Categorizing this unfocused and unsure sadness into the only thing that registers- a protective span of his wings over this family. Leathery like a bat, defeathered by a life of sin- sure but the rain would never settle on their fur without his say.

She is announced dead by Dawnglare himself, a duty upon him that most would abhor. Thistleback crooks his chin down and closes his eyes, " I’ll keep them safe " he whispers to the void of her death’s wake.

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OOC INFO REF

• —
  
  
• — Thistleback | thirty-two moons | cis-male
  — daylight warrior of Skyclan
  — bisexual | fallen for Deersong 9.29.22
  — mentoring Coyotepaw
  — very muscular piebald black and white tom with spiky fur and cold silver-grey eyes. Wears a purple collar with brass clasp.
  
• 
  
  

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[~Deersong~]

( ♬ ) As of late, Deersong was such an easy crier, but she supposed it was for the best; her spirit needing an outlet for all of the heartaches Skyclan had endured these last several days. So it was no surprise, that the cream and chocolate molly was pressed tightly against her mate, tears streaming down her muzzle in grief as she watched and listened to the sad display before them.

Her ears would flatten as the secret the dying molly had kept slipped from her maw just before death took her and as the molly took her last breath, Deersong would turn her head to bury it into her mate's fur and quietly sobbed for several moments.

Unlike Thistleback, her mind was not on Coyotepaw or Squirrelpaw's father, but rather on the young cats. She had made a promise to their mother and had every intention to keep it. Once she had gathered herself once more, a single soft sniffle would come from her before using her paw to wipe her eyes and then moved over to Snowpaw and lightly touched his shoulder with her nose, "Come with me."

She would whisper the words before turning to head towards the camp entrance, "Leopardcloud is going to be cleaned and dressed in flowers, the prettiest ones we can find, Ok?" ​

( LET YOU BREAK; MY HEART AGAIN )

 

[Sporecloud]

Amanita trembled. Tears fell from her eyes as she listened to Leopardclouds confession. It was quite a revelation. It was big news, and hearing what Leopardcloud had been through sowed the seed of something...... Darker, inside.

Who hurt her.

It was drowned out, however, by her own tears. By the pain of impending loss.

"Oh Leopardcloud...." She choked. "You don't have to apologize..... we'll see each other again someday. And when we do, I'll make you so many flower crowns." She managed.

But Leopardcloud had passed, and when she didn't respond, Amanita broke into quiet sobs, burying her face into Leopardclouds pelt.

She could only hope that in Starclan, she could live free of her illness, as she deserved.
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[Snowpath]

His limbs stiffened where he stood as he watched, frowning intently because he was watching a cat die and it was not what he expected. It was not some death in a great battle like the ones that formed the clans, not a roar of triumph to be heard. Only a quiet whimper. It was slow, too slow, he felt like time had shattered and the world crawled to a stop. He almost didn't register what he heard, that Leopardcloud was their mother and not sister, that WindClan was dangerous for them...mother. She was their-Snowpaw blinked rapidly as he heard movement, glanced up to briefly catch Thistleback's gaze as the black and white tom moved into the den and he dipped his head back down with an intent frown before Deersong drew him up from his thoughts. Flowers.
Flowers. He could do that. It was the least he could do and he didn't want to stand here any longer, he was not quite as strong as he thought himself to be and lingering was not something he was capable of. With a swift pivot he moved to quickly follow along behind his mentor on hurried steps, head up and ears still pressed flush against his skull. "White ones." He finally said after a long pause, his thoughts a mess of things he had no ability to sort right now, "She liked the white ones." Because Coyotepaw gave her white ones. She gave him a white one. Were they daisies...? Daisy...Daisyflight. He wanted his mom.
Snowpaw gave a small hiccup of a noise, refused to comment on the sudden burning of his eyes and moisture on his cheeks. Stupid Leopardcloud, even dead she was making him pay for what he said...

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