sensitive topics THE PRESENCE OF A PERSON THAT I LOVED ONCE [ ˚❀༉‧₊ ] NEWS


There is a heaviness in her chest as she leaves carrionplace and heads in the direction of camp. Rain still pelts her fur, weighing her down in an entirely different way than the thoughts that race through her troubled mind. Granitepelt was dead but her daughter was a murderer. "Fuck" she says as a sudden sob tears through her body. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck" a slew of curses escape her lips immediately followed by a strangled cry. How many times could her world be flipped completely upside down and she be expected to keep going despite it? It’s a wretched selfish feeling that curdles in her stomach as she thinks why? Why me but doesn’t she deserve to be selfish for once in her life?

Regardless, she knows the face she has to put on when she finally enters camp. She has to be strong. If not for the warriors who relied upon her then for the kits who needed her to be the put together adult they had come to know. So when she pushes through the thorn barrier she wipes the tears from her cheek, and she grits her teeth.

"I need Chilledstar" she says simply to whoever was closest to her upon her entrance.

// this thread takes place immediately after this one
Starlingheart left the body behind because she wouldn’t have been able to carry it on her own. A patrol is free to go look for him after she delivers the news
Cats are free to smell faint blood and sickness on her
@CHILLEDSTAR. But no need to wait

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    STARLINGHEART SHADOWCLAN MEDICINE CAT; SHE / HER ; SISTER TO PITCHSTAR, CHITTERTONGUE, NIGHTSWARM, SKUNKTAIL, AND LILACFUR. MOTHER TO NETTLEPAW, FLINTWISH AND GHOSTMASK.
    A skinny she cat with short black and white fur littered with scars and one singular green eye.
    Easy in battle + has little to no formal battle training
 
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.·:*¨༺🕷༻¨*:·. The last time the smell of the carrion place had drifted into camp, it had been stemming from her brothers corpse, the damp breeze drifts the soured smell into her nostrils again, and death clings to it- the same mixture that had thrown her world on its head. Starlinghearts gait is all too rigid when the young warrior draws forward, skeptical hazel hues clouding with something akin to conflict. What had befallen their medicine cat, this time? Chilledstar would damn that stars, she thinks- but no, Starlinghearts unfortunate life had to be something like fate, some sort of destined cautionary tale. There is no stutter in the healers tone when she turns to Briarthorn, her gaze as empty as her order. With only a sharp tilt of her head, the warrior would silently slip away, off in search of their leader. "Chilledstar, Starlingheart needs you." Context is clipped, her tail flicks low. "It seemed important."
By the time the shadow would be guiding the leader back to Starlingheart, skepticism had evolved into silent curiosity.



  • BRIARTHORN she/her, warrior of shadowclan, 12 moons.
    slender, lean-muscled black she-cat with sharp hazel eyes & large ears.
    daughter of Forestshade && Vulturemask ࿏ sister to Screechpaw && Sweetpaw
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
    penned by Noor@toyangel on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

 
their half gaze seems vacant. they're watching the clan, it seem, but they're not really looking at much of anything. there is a certain amount of nothingness that comes from death. the aftermath is almost always the same. they barely hear anything, all jumbled into one big fit of noise until... they hear their name. their eye blinks a few times, and their scarred face turns to briarthorn who speaks to them. they seem dull until they hear it. starlingheart needed them. and with that, they stand to their paws, quicker than they realize, and shake out their pelt with a quick nod to briarthorn. they rush to the entrance where starlingheart stands, and they quickly brush against the medicine cat, gaze soft and filled with worry.

"are you okay, starls? what happened? what..."

their senses slowly come back to them as they sniff her fur. they have a physical jolt of a reaction as they smell faint copper and the rot of the sick. they gently move to make sure she's not injured before bumping against her lightly.

"the scent isn't your blood, is it? what happened, little feather?"

———————---***i try to live in black and white***———————---

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  • black feline with a white marking across their face, a white chin, a white right front paw, and blue eyes. chilledstar is covered in scars, the most prominent ones being the one across their face, and the one across their neck.
    47 moons old; ages the 3rd every month
    they / them pronouns
    aromantic / homosexual ; currently not looking
    child of JAGGED and RAVEN
    shadowclan ; loyal to shadowclan ; other info if applicable
    mildly difficult to befriend ; trusts barely anyone; trusts no one outside of shadowclan
    "speech", thoughts, attacking
    peaceful powerplay allowed
 

With Starlingheart's return to camp comes an disagreeable smell that draws Gigglekit out of the nursery where she'd been napping at Needledrift's belly. It's a bit far, but even from where she stands, Gigglekit can tell that there's something wrong; that Starlingheart isn't feeling well, and the thought alone that her aunt might be upset is enough to upset the girl, tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she closes in beside Briarthorn and Chilledstar, a presence that shouldn't be but couldn't stay away.

She can see the blood on her aunt, and a small hiccup escapes Gigglekit's mouth.

"Is everythin' okay?"

 
➼➼ The clan’s medicine cat returning to camp smelling faintly of illness is not a good sign. Now that Blackstrike knows what most of being in a clan is like, he knows that cats smelling of sickness isn’t normal. So when Starlingheart makes her way into the camp with a strange scent wafting off of her, a touch of blood in the smell, the tom is quick to stride over to meet her. Multiple other ShadowClanners—other ShadowClanners, isn’t that a great phrase—move to greet her at the entrance, concern clear in Chilledstar’s words after Briarthorn fetches the leader.

Uncertain of what he should do, the black and white warrior settles onto his haunches. Despite the smell, Starlingheart doesn’t look like she’s injured. Curiosity tugs at his chest, but he stays silent. The medicine cat will answer everyone’s questions and explain what happened, all in due time.

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    BLACKSTRIKE ❯❯ he/him, shadowclan warrior
    thin black and white tom with mismatched blue and yellow eyes. calm and nonchalant, difficult to anger.
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    penned by foxlore
 

Before her clan she feels bone-weary, like the distance she has travelled between here and carrionplace spans the distance of *days* travelled rather than minutes. She gives a grateful nod in Briarthorn's direction when the warrior declares that she will go and fetch them. Too tired to say anything else, she must conserve her strength long enough to deliver her news, to say her pieces, and then she could go to her nest, curl up and lose herself in the hold of soft moss for a little bit.

How she must look right now, she realizes as her lone eye spots Gigglekit. Her niece did not have to hear this... She tries her best at a smile, tired and weary but it still graces her features when she lays eyes on her small kin. "Everything's-everything's okay Gigglekit. Why-why don't you go find Needledrift?" she suggests with a gentle hum, swinging her head to bump the young girl gently with her nose.

When she looks up, Chilledstar is there. Worry plain in their monochrome features. "I'm okay" she asserts quickly, aware of the blood-stench and the sickly sweet smell of sickness that wafts from her pelt. "I just-" She tries but her voice falters, trips over itself as the smile falls of her face "It's Granitepelt, he's-he's dead" the explanation quickly follows the name, she is aware of the clans eyes on her, even the newest, and she knows the kind of panic it would cause to those who knew who he was "I-I found him by carrionplace. Infection. He-he died of infection. I just happened to stumble upon him. I st-stayed with him until he died. To make sure-to make sure he was really gone" she explains, green eye full of anguish (though she certainly wasn't mourning his death) and relief in equal measure "I left his body there" let it rot into crow-food she thinks bitterly.
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    STARLINGHEART SHADOWCLAN MEDICINE CAT; SHE / HER ; SISTER TO PITCHSTAR, CHITTERTONGUE, NIGHTSWARM, SKUNKTAIL, AND LILACFUR. MOTHER TO NETTLEPAW, FLINTWISH AND GHOSTMASK.
    A skinny she cat with short black and white fur littered with scars and one singular green eye.
    Easy in battle + has little to no formal battle training
 
/ light tw: paranoia, graphic intrusive thoughts, mentions of abuse

Starlingheart comes into camp wearing infected perfume. It has been some moons since Flintwish had adopted her worry; had elected to carry some of the weight of her anxiety; when she comes into camp with cheeks stained with tears, Flintwish feels a sting at his own eyes. His chest sputters to the only life it really knows: a six-piston engine, igniting his blood into fear. When he rises his paws churn aimlessly, but he charts a course to his mother quickly. I need Chilledstar, she says, but that's not true — she needs him, to tell Flintwish what is wrong. The other ShadowClanners don't understand her enough. Only Flintwish does.

She arrives at her mother's side, speechless. She brushes past Briarthorn on her way; spares a glance to Blackstrike and Gigglekit, both of whom she regards with a guarded sort of severity. She touches her nose to her mother's shoulder, but pulls away quickly as a story unravels from her lungs. And then the big announcement: It's Granitepelt. He's dead.

One breath in. Two. Flintwish's engine stalls. His heart does a weary little flip, like a paper airplane thrown just wrong, and crashes somewhere against his ribcage, spinning out into his stomach and then through it. He feels gutted, then ashamed for feeling gutted, then... angry. Or empty? Who's to say. Flintwish can barely pick apart whatever knot of emotion plagues him at any given time. This disorienting news does not change that.

"What?" It comes out harsh, scathing as hot desert wind. "He's dead? Dead?" Her lips peel away from her milk-white teeth. She turns her bladed gaze on Chilledstar, then, as if they could do anything to tie Granitepelt's soul back to his rotted, bloating corpse. As if they or anyone else should. Flintwish's father is dead and being picked apart by crows and maggots in the carrionplace. Flintwish's father is a piece of carrion. And he is, he really and truly is, but he is so afraid to go out there and see that piece of carrion and only see himself in it.

Will they even retrieve the body? Or should they let the dogs eat it? Flintwish does not particularly like Granitepelt. Granitepelt had not seemed to particularly like anyone, let alone his imitation — but he'd paid her special attention in kithood; had favored her above her siblings, even, until the yellowcough. The last time she'd seen him, he'd been rabid with whatever hatred had consumed him. Still then she had craved his favor, all while he spit his shameless guilt, never quite repenting. He'd tried to turn her against ShadowClan, to try and convince her to follow his path. Would he be dead now if she had?

But she can't cry. If she cries, she is a sympathizer. Maybe she is truly evil if she cries, because who in their right mind would cry for a murderer like Granitepelt? Who would cry for an abuser like Granitepelt? Who would cry for a father like Granitepelt? The fur on her shoulders has gathered into stony spires. Granitepelt is dead, and nobody will shed a tear for him. Not even Flintwish, want though she did.

She registers Starlingheart's story later. They may have even moved on in the conversation, but Flintwish's ears are stuck like burrs to her mother's tale. Staying with him while he died; making sure the soul had left the body (assuming Granitepelt had a soul at all) before coming back to announce her deed. She had killed him, maybe. Or maybe she hadn't. Could a lack of intervention be the same as murder? But then, Granitepelt had murdered plenty. Flintwish had murdered too. A whole family of murderers — sans Nettlepaw in good old StarClan and Ghostpaw, maybe, wherever she was. Little did he know.

We're doomed. I'm doomed. Would he kill Ashenfall someday? What about Poppyglow? Swansong? Maybe something beastly would find its way into his veins; would puppet his body to cut their throats while he could only watch, locked behind green and blue windows. Stop thinking that. I don't want that, Flintwish knows, and yet she pictures their corpses in perfect detail, if only for a few seconds. His throat constricts. He feels the immediate need to leave, as though his windpipe would implode if he did not. But what would he look like, streaking away in tears at the news that his awful, murderous father has finally been put down?

Did he say anything about me? She doesn't ask it out loud. Not yet. "Should we bury h- it?" Flintpaw corrects her course quickly, but as soon as she asks she pales. She does not want to see him. She does not want to see what eats at him. She does not want to know what her clanmates will say about him, when they come across his flesh in such a sorry state. But maybe if they bury him, she'll get an idea of what she'll look like at the grand finale, should ShadowClan put her down, too.

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    flintkit . flintpaw . flintwish
    — he / they / she ; warrior of shadowclan
    — short-haired solid blue tom with low white and blue/green heterochromatic eyes
    — "speech" ; thoughts
    — chibi by sixbane, signature by dreamydoggo
    — penned by meghan
 
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˚₊‧ ⛧ "Oh, well that's the end of that, then," Ashenfall mutters as the news is shakily delivered and falls upon the consciousness of Shadowclan like the last chilling snowflakes of a long-stretching Leafbare. No longer would kittens have to stay up at night imagining being stolen away at any moment, no longer would there be someone to cast the blame upon whenever a clan-mate disappeared. Shadowclan has lost its Boogeyman, and once again Ashenfall is left wondering if he should feel better than he does about it.

Amidst the crowd, the mottled warrior finds himself studying Starlingheart as she stumbles through her explanation. He can catch whiffs of the odd rot smell still lingering upon her, and her expression flips from a kitten-appropriate mask to something between torment and resolution. He often resented her weak-wristed wielding of her power as their clan's main arbiter of life and death, but there was a macabre satisfaction in the revelation that she withheld her power in favor of watching beast die before her eyes—well, eye.

His focus shifts toward Flintwish, and something like guilt flutters around uselessly in him at the sight, feeling terribly out of his depth. It was common sense to know that one shouldn't give the cruel and monstrous the honor of being grieved in death, but he could understand perhaps in the vaguest sense the gut-reaction sorrow following the snuffing out of a parent. Flintwish asks if they should bury the body, and Ashenfall is bombarded with imaginations of carrion left to wither away beneath the elements.

"We should," he pipes up to support Flintwish, eyes darting to Chilledstar, whom the decision ultimately fell upon, "We, uh, don't want predators sniffing around the territory, yeah?" He said this knowing he wielded no power beside his candid tongue and an assumption of good will granted from those above him. And though he knew Granitepelt would not deserve the respect of being given a proper vigil nor grave, he'd hoped some closure would be allowed in the ritual of piling dirt atop a corpse, allowing it to return to the earth and the character of its inhabitant to fade from memory.

  • OOC:
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  • ashenkit . ashenpaw . ashenfall
    — he/him. 15mo warrior of shadowclan. formerly mentored by smogmaw
    — smogmaw x halfshade. littermate to applejaw, swansong & garlicheart. older brother of thornpaw, halfpaw, and laurelpaw
    — muted blue torbie w/ pale blue and amber eyes
    — sarcastic, sharp-eyed, sulky, nostalgic, faithful, impulsive, candid, provocative, remorseful
    — "speech", thoughts
    — penned by eezy
 
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Smogmaw is no stranger to dramatic entrances into camp. He's seen his fair share, done his fair share, and caused a good few himself. For maximum impact, all a cat must do is step into the clearing with no context or preamble, wear a sullen look, and insist upon the presence of an authority figure. It's a foolproof method for drawing everyone's gaze, and one which Starlingheart employs masterfully. Observing her expression alone—a sole eye framed by the tracks of wiped-away tears, anguish tormenting her jaw with steely tension—he concludes within heartbeats how severe the matter must be.

Assertive strides take the tom to the crowd's heart. With it, he merges stiffly, shouldering past clanmates to assume position befitting of a deputy; a fox-length from centre stage, yet close enough to glean unobstructed details. At this range does the blood in her scent reach him, a familiar, nauseating whiff which sears all too sharply beneath his nose. But he cannot see wounds on her figure from which it seeps, nor does she appear harmed in any way other than distress. Haunches are coaxed onto the ground in preparation for a grisly unveiling.

She speaks. She speaks, and Smogmaw's senses rebel; reason grips in his chest whilst ears force the words outward, driving him to react reflexively in his muscles, in his gut. Her account cuts through the air with a piercing clarity. The cycle of life has run its course for Granitepelt. All too abruptly has a void gotten torn into his lens on this world. He's left disappointed, reeling. Irritation scorns his flesh, while resentment consumes his thoughts as if in retribution. How fucking anticlimactic. The ultimate evil, vanquished by its own idiocy, felled by the smallest of foes, a mere infection.

Smogmaw tastes bitterness. Seething inside him for moons unending, the wicked lust to impart the fiend's final blow thrashes itself awake. Fuming at its immediate lack of purpose. Frustrated and hollow, and left to brood upon wasted time and fantasised vengeances. If only the fleabag had perished like a warrior, instead of wasting away like some histrionic elder. That kit-stealing, apprentice-killing, mate-maiming, rogue-flirting coward. Death should've served its meaning, dealt a reminder, instilled an idea, ensured vindication as it took its claim.

"Wasn't even well-wasted," drawls the deputy, curt and dreary. "Dying like a sick kit, holed out in Carrionplace. But if he came to know a fraction of the humiliation he's caused us all, as he went out? His death'd at least mean something." A stark scoff passes Smogmaw's teeth, bared in blatant contempt for Granitepelt's passage. He leaves it there, hanging like a branch in the breeze, along with a hollow glare which feigns dispassion.

Suggestions on what to do with the cadaver arise swiftly. That some clanmates would think to dignify him with a proper burial prompts the deputy to scoff again. A more fitting course of action would be dragging his remains into the moors and dumping them into the gorge. Or simply neglecting it for the rats to feast on. Leave him there to decay into nothing, nothing like his character, like how his legacy ought to be. "Burial is what we gave Pitchstar, and Ghostpaw, and Poppypaw, and Tornadopaw. No, he deserves no such honours."

Flintpaw stands decimated. Shock maims the apprentice's face, terror leaves her pupils tiny; but she does not wail nor flounder, nor shed tears—she observes, breath held fast as her father is spoken over without dignity, his corpse trivialised as if it's nothing and nobody. As it should, mind. "If he is buried, let it not be in a grave, but underneath twoleg waste. He has earned his place among the rat droppings and filth."