private THE SONG OF ICE AND FIRE — cottonsprig

[ROWANPAW]

〔✦〕Rowanpaw finds themselves standing in the mouth of the medicine den — stars, it's smelly in here, isn't it? It is not necessarily a bad smell, but a strong one indeed. Their mismatched eyes stare forward at Cottonsprig, their silhouette set against the darkness of nightfall. Wolfsong is not nearby for whatever reason, so the apprentice figured that now was a better time than ever to try and talk with the medicine cat. They've been meaning to for a bit now.

They like Cottonsprig as a healer, as a clanmate, as... someone they can trust. Rowanpaw would not say they were friends; the molly was older than she was and they really only interacted on a surface level. However, they didn't feel that they could handle another day going by without imploring the medicine cat to explain her ties to Snakehiss. They could not grow close to the blue smoke without doing so first. "Tell me who you were to my father." The chimera practically demands. After a pause, they perk an ear — that came out harsher than they intended, but moons of pent-up wondering led to building desperation.

They tilt their head, letting the words roll off their tongue in a more composed tone this time, "You said once that you would tell me when I was old enough. Now I am." They fully believed they were mature enough to handle whatever story Cottonsprig threw at her. Whether it be one of darkness, of heartache, of cursed love. They were insistent that WindClan was better off with Snakehiss gone, that they were better off without that man in their life. However, curiosity was a nagging pest and only led the tunneler to wonder more about the former deputy. He would never return again to answer their questions. Other cats did not seem to want to talk about him either, except for gossiping apprentices and elders ( whose words were hard to believe as the truth anyway ).

A quiet anticipation floods their gaze, though their expression largely remains neutral and unwavering. After a moment, they follow with, "Please." They were ready to hear the truth... if Cottonsprig would say it.

let me walk to the top ( of the big night sky ) //

• ooc. @cottonsprig
  
• ROWANPAW — tunneler apprentice of windclan , mentored by swiftshade ✦ penned by beatles
  ✦ afab demigirl / they/she pronouns / 8 moons & ages every 17th
  ✦ single / graysexual & monogamous
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  — easy combat difficulty / may start fights, won't kill
  
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, all opinions are ic
  ✦ biography — msg on discord for plots — toyhouse
  
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  a shorthaired black/tortoiseshell chimera with heterochromia. a lithe, slightly muscular cat with a smaller-than-average build. a direct line splits their face, as if mirroring an inner battle of identity and belonging. a serious expression usually graces their face, and their amber and blue gaze is always sharpened.

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[cottonsprig]

Cottonsprig is too consumed in her own mind to notice the looming figure behind her. She counts her collected herbs and gauges just how many she can sneak to the edges of the territory before Wolfsong takes notice - before again deciding that she's better off dividing her hunts before they even make it back to the den. She jumps from her thoughts when Rowanpaw speaks, the young chimera's voice demanding, startling - Cottonsprig cannot hold her tongue quick enough.

"Not even a hello, Rowanpaw!?" She snaps, blue eyes pinning towards the younger cat. Her jaw tenses and the fur on her shoulders flatten, and shortly after she apologizes - "I'm sorry. I... I was deep in thought." It wasn't a lie, at least. She's been doing too much of that lately. Regardless of her reaction, Rowanpaw better explains herself, and sprinkles on a soft, please shortly thereafter. Guilt plagues the medicine cat for several longer moments, morphing from upset after snipping at the tunneller to being saddened by her existence entirely. To be abandoned by both parents... Cottonsprig unfortunately knows the feeling too well.

"You're older," she says, beckoning the other with her tail, "Old enough is... still moons off. But - I'll tell you, only because... Because if I were in your paws, Rowanpaw, I would want to know the same." Cottonsprig wonders if her children will look at her one day and ask of their sire. If she will have to sit them down similarly - unfortunately, she thinks firstly, she does not know who sire's the littlelings in her womb. And secondly... she doesn't know if they'll ever see her as a mother.

"We were... friends, I guess you could say. Snakehiss was a bit snippy -" like you, she withholds. The child is young, like he was. But maybe she can grow still. Cottonsprig holds to that hope and holds it firmly. "But he wasn't bad. It was the influence of others that soured him. When Sunstar was chased out, I had stayed - we both did. He..." Her mouth dries as she thinks of it. Admittedly it is awkward but Rowanpaw asked for the whole truth. Politely, even, so the medicine cat continues. "He asked if, when I became a full medicine cat, him and I could be mates. I said yes at the time because... because..."

And she stops. He isolated me, she can't say that. He wouldn't let me speak to my friends, cornered me into conversations with cats that hated me. He almost killed Sedgepounce. She can't say any of that. I had no one else. Is there use in preserving the memory of a man who abandoned his children so swiftly?

"Because I thought I loved him," she lies. She's been doing too much of that lately.​

 

[ROWANPAW]

Rowanpaw's tail twitches in slight irritation as Cottonsprig nearly insists that they still were not mature enough to hear the truth, though they keenly focus on the healer as she gives in and begins illustrating the tale of her relationship with Snakehiss. To hear that they had once been friends was surprising to the chimera; they hadn't been under the impression that the former deputy had any friends. Had there been a time when he had been different? For a brief moment, Rowanpaw feels mournful of the tom that Snakehiss could have been. The brutality of Sootstar's reign had shaped him, Cottonsprig emphasized.

"He asked if, when I became a full medicine cat, him and I could be mates." "Wha—" Oh... Oh. The tortie's ears fold backward as emotions crop up, threatening to spill at once. Her... and Snakehiss?! That was... repulsive! They couldn't even picture the possibility without feeling the urge to cringe. "Really." They huff in disbelief. But... Cottonsprig was so... Cottonsprig. She was kind and outgoing and warm... everything that Snakehiss wasn't. How could they have possibly... How in the world...?

They reel in surprise, though after taking a moment to process, they shake their head and murmur, "It all makes sense now," Rowanpaw's eyes still linger on the ground. "My father didn't like anyone, really, but he always seemed especially cold in your presence." She had never understood why, but she did now. She could recall when Cottonsprig would come to check on them in the nursery; Snakehiss' prickly demeanor would turn to sheer ice, as if one slip-up or wrong word from the medicine cat apprentice would cause him to snap. The glistening in his eyes had been of hatred, Rowanpaw could piece together now.

Heterochromatic eyes flicked upward, meeting pools of blue. It is as if Cottonsprig has been dawned in a new light; everything they had ever known about her was changed. They would never again see the medicine cat the same way... they aren't sure what to make of their feelings, though. Snakehiss' downfall had been caused by StarClan and his delusions surrounding Sunstar, but now they cannot help but wonder if his assumed falling out with Cottonsprig had played a part as well... "So... you didn't love him, then? Did you, er," They swallow briefly. Navigating a conversation surrounding romantic endeavors was one thing for Rowanpaw, but for the subject to be her own father and the molly before her... it was rather awkward. "End things with him after that?" Or had something else happened to break up such an odd pairing?

𝐈𝐌 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ✹ . + 　 　˚ 　　　　 · 　 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐈𝐓

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  a tunneler apprentice of windclan, rowanpaw is eight moons and is mentored by swiftshade they are the child of snakehiss and berrysnap. split directly down the middle, their right half is solid black and their left half is tortoiseshell patterned. they also have amber and blue heterochromia. ✦

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