private THE SUN WILL ONLY BURN FOR YOU & I ✾ little wolf

[BLAZESTAR]

( * ˚ ✦ ) Howling Wind, StarClan bless her, seems to sense after the kits have made up their minds that Blazestar and Little Wolf need one last moment alone together. The ThunderClan deputy takes them all, regardless of newly-chosen affiliation, away from Fourtrees. Soon, it's only the SkyClan leader and the ThunderClan warrior -- only, they're still not alone, not here. The shadows creak and tremble with wind, with the wintry sounds of night.

Ghosts weave themselves around the two cats, not StarClan warriors, but memories. A place where Blazestar did not fight, but where the blood of his warrior ancestors was spilled; the place where he first took the mantle from Rain, despite the furious look from the pine-dwelling cats; the place where he'd first tilted his face towards the sky and felt powerful, like he could make a change, like he could do anything right.

No, he thinks after a moment, after he forces himself to sink ankle-deep into Little Wolf's eyes. Pools of warm summer-green, he slips and falls until he's swimming in memories that threaten to drown him. The first time I felt like that was when I met you.

"The moon wasn't this full the night we met," he says, his voice husky. He pads forward, closes the gap between them before he can bear for it to get any larger, any colder. Their pelts brush, and he sinks his face into the fur on the back of her neck. Her scent is overwhelmingly comforting, soft and warm and full of promises. "StarClan has a cruel sense of humor, I suppose."

His breath warms the back of her neck, but he pulls back with reluctance so he can look her in the face. "I remember thinking that I never wanted to say goodbye to you," he says. "That I'd come back to the forest every night until I could see you again, that I'd give up my life as a kittypet to be near you." His voice trembles. "How can I say goodbye now, now that I've given everything to you? Now that I've taken all you have to give? How can they expect me to live without you, when you're the only reason I'm here?"

Oh, the injustice of it, and yet he had agreed to the law. He'd had to. What they are suffering, what their kits are suffering, should be a lesson left for the entire forest. Following your heart will only lead to grief.

"I don't want to say goodbye to you," he says, and there are unspent sobs cramping his voice. He doesn't want to. He doesn't know if he can.​

( AND EVERY TIME IT RAINS , ALL THE ANGELS CRY FOR ME )

@LITTLE WOLF

 

[LITTLE WOLF]

She still remembers the night well, like a vivid dream it feels distant, unreachable, but so real. It frays at the edges of her vision, if only she could step back into green-leaf when times were simpler. Back before the great battle, back before a cat stole prey from the mouths of another, sparking a war she had no interest in fighting. If she could go back to that night possessing the knowledge she has now she would beg him not to leave her company. She would make sure he did not make the mistake of joining the wrong group when he came looking for her, she would make sure they could be by each others sides forever.

The stars has other plans.

He speaks, his words honeyed. They warm and break her heart in equal measures and she cannot help but feel the sting of tears in her eyes. He closes the distance between them, enfolds her in that familiar embrace she has come to love and cherish. He is her home, she feels safe when she is pressed into his chest like this. No more. She reminds herself. This is the last time. The thought hurts her head, as if her body is physically rejecting the idea of having to part ways with the flame pointed tom.

When he pulls away she almost cries out. As if a part of her is going missing, something vital and important. Even the idea of being without him was like loosing a paw or her tail. But she must endure, for her children, for him. She could not hurt him anymore than she already has. She looks into his sky-blue eyes and sees her own sadness reflected in them, her own reluctance to part ways for good. "I don't want to either" she says, voice breaking under the immense weight of the tears she cannot shed. "My heart will always belong to you, no matter what. I do not regret meeting you, I do not regret loving you but we have responsibilities to our family, to our clans." she wishes it is not so "I love you" it almost sounds like a whisper when it escapes her throat. Her heart wrenches in pain. Horrible terrible thing that she has done, but who could have foreseen such tragedy? "I'll always love you" she presses her face against his chest once more. His soft fur that smells of pine and sap, smells of the forest. She would never smell that again.

"Please" she says as she pulls away, not too far "Could we just spend one last night together… here.. under the stars. I don't want to leave you, not yet. Just one more night" a tear escapes her hold, staining her black fur as she looks up into his face. Illuminated by the moonlight he looks otherworldly. This is how she would remember him.
​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

( * ˚ ✦ ) "I don't want to either," she says, and the break in her voice is enough to send Blazestar spiraling. "My heart will always belong to you, no matter what." He whispers, "I will never take another mate. You are my heart, Little Wolf. I'm glad--" He blinks, clearing his vision, "I'm glad you don't regret loving me, either."

She's right, she's right, their responsibilities are to SkyClan and ThunderClan respectively. He must continue to lead, must lead them better, but right now he cannot fathom returning to that lonely den to face a life without Little Wolf. Without Crescentpaw and Burnpaw and Morningpaw.

"I love you," she says, and Blazestar closes his eyes, lets the words caress his face. "I love you." An echo, a pledge, a vow. "The day I stop loving you is the day I die for the final time." Then he begins to purr through the tears that run down his face. "No, not even then. I will carry my love for you into the stars."

Yes, that's something that he can cling to, that in StarClan there are no boundaries. He presses his face to hers, and he nods against his heavy grief. "One more night," he whispers, broken, "until we are both StarClan warriors, and we are free to love as we must. As we're fated to do."

He settles in the grass and, when she goes to join him, he will lay the thick silken shawl of his tail over her and hold her close to him. As though he can keep her here, despite those who would steal her from him.

"I know Crescentpaw and Burnpaw will be okay, with you, and Howling Wind, and Emberstar," he murmurs, words softened against her pelt. But, oh, he'll miss them, miss seeing Crescentpaw who is now absent her twin; miss seeing Burnpaw, so much like his mother. "I'll see you at Gatherings, at least. All of you. It won't be the same, but..." He falters, lost for a moment in how different it will truly be.​

( AND EVERY TIME IT RAINS , ALL THE ANGELS CRY FOR ME )