the whole is great ✘ ravensong

[SMOKESTAR]

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Ravensong's den was empty once again, lungwort had since been distributed and their clanmates cured and back to their duties. It was almost as if a plague had not descended upon them at all, everything was in order and none would be the wiser to the trial they had undergone. His fur prickles as it dries, river water and blood stiffening his pelt into bristling points and he settles down to sit, forepaws sliding out from under him until he was laying down more comfortable and finally; off his paws, he felt the exhaustion seep in.
"...they killed me..." He said suddenly, the hollow feeling in his chest he could not identify now very clear once he had a moment. The adrenaline of the visit to StarClan and his panicked return had left him quietly refusing to face what was so obvious but now that he could simply rest there was nothing stopping the realization from rolling out violently. A current thrashing against the shore.
"I almost bled out before I got my lives...and then I did after..." And then immediately after recieving the last, a sharp pinprick of horror, he'd faded. Woken up. Realized where he was and dashed home. He thinks of Willowroot, so adamant she go with him that they briefly argued at the border, he thinks of WindClan ripping her into pieces. He shouldn't have gone alone, but he would not regret doing so. It was pure will and luck that kept him alive and any other cat would not have been so fortunate. A smirk formed on his maw, uncertain, the leads would probably be furious that not even an escort would have avoided this and how unapologetic he was that he didn't listen. Smokestar knows he should have, but his stubborness was the winner this once.
He grits his teeth, momentarily fighting himself on something before he utters a heavy sigh and the memory of the cats he had seen among the stars filters back. Be honest. Trust...
"...Ravensong, I....killed him. I killed Cicadastar..."

——✘ when does ripple become a tidal wave ———✘ when does a candle become a flame

• OOC can go here.
• 
  
  
  Smokestar
  —⊰⋅ Leader of RiverClan
  —⊰⋅ He/Him
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ Black tom w/vitiligo & one orange eye.
  

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[RAVENSONG]

Ravensong is not sure what to think as the reality of Smokestar's death into life has slapped him in the face. His paws ache from the work he has been doing and careful eyes roam the now RiverClan leader's drying pelt. "You're... right." He remarks with something that sounds like morbid amazement. "Smokestar... it is strange to say but when I look at you, I have some sort of sixth sense that allows..." He trails off suddenly and abruptly, tail bristling in alarm. He keeps his secret for now, but the knowledge hangs heavy over his head that other cats will watch Smokestar die without knowing when his last will be, but Ravensong will always be reminded of how close the tom is to life after death. "A leader ought to always be accompanied by this medicine cat... for this reason... You were a fool to go alone." The medicine cat is young, but sharper with his tongue now that Cicadastar is not around to hold it. The place of medicine cat and advisor seems much more comfortable to hold, and he finds a sort of peace in Smokestar's single amber eye.

A chill goes down his spine at the next admission. It is a visceral one, cutting down every yellowcough-infected organ in his body until Ravensong feels the ends of his toes freeze. He swallows and a part of him is primed to deny, yet StarClan has somehow granted him lives despite this, and Ravensong knows that is true.

"What." His question is formed like a statement, his breath coming out cold as he glances back at his leader. "How?" He whispers, ears flat against his head. "What did you tell the Clan?" Bedridden and sick, Ravensong had no idea of how the news had been broken. He shakes his head, wills himself out of his delusions. There is an answer, and Ravensong knows it. Yet it seems unholy and too dark to speak aloud.

☾₊ ⊹ темная ночь — dark is the night

•  
• 
  RAVENSONG of RIVERCLAN — LH BLACK POLYDACTYL MALE (CARRYING CINNAMON, DILUTE) a tall, slender creature with pitch-black feathery fur, large ears, and a sharply angled skull held up in an aloof manner. smells of dried herb, speaks with a low and rumbly accent and walks with an elegant slinking gait.
  
  — born in twolegplace and orphaned at a young age, he joined riverclan at its inception and began training as a drypaw warrior known for a bitter temperment until beesong made him his medicine cat apprentice. after his mentor's untimely death, he had been named ravensong at the moonstone, young heart revitalized with anger and guilt. he is a somber and thorough medicine cat that guards every word spoken in the confines of his den.
  
  — secretly loves "the stars but not so much what inhabits them"
  — openly suffers from chronic migraines
  — single, but "it's complicated"

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[SMOKESTAR]

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"I was." He admits, words heavy and tone exhausted, they had all warned him against the idea but he had wanted that moment of peace - that last sliver of closure, an answer and a goodbye and he had not wanted to share it. It was foolish, desperate, and for what? The answer he had recieved was not the one he wanted, he did not know how to even begin explaining how unsettled he was, how broken his heart felt.

"...he attacked me. When I found him he was muttering, raving mad, he leapt on me...he tried to kill me. I did....I had to...he wouldn't stop." As much as he loved the tom, as much as he had dedicated his life and service to that leader, to RiverClan, when it finally came time to die for his sake he just couldn't do it and he had considered briefly letting it be done. Not fighting back, letting himself go so he could greet him in StarClan first as he'd always felt he might. In the end he had chosen the clan over Cicadastar and it hurt, it hurt so much more than he ever expected it to.
"I said nothing...the clan...assumed it was rogues that attacked me and killed him...I did not correct it. I don't know how to say it...do I say it at all?" How could he? How could he tell his clanmates, his kits, that their leader and father had turned on them, had gone mad, was put down like a frothing mouthed and violent creature.
"...he thought...I was Beesong, he called them a traitor...I think..." Lone orange eye closed, he didn't want to face this truth but he can think of nothing else that made sense - he had no proof but the words of a madman and his own intuition and the final nail in the coffin that his mate would not await him when he finally died as well; nine times. Or rather, eight.
"I think he killed them...he was not...in the den that night they went missing." Nightly walks were normal, but, the fact Cicadastar had made no mention of it, that not a comment was spoken of not seeing the cinnamon feline out, it left a sour taste in his mouth where before he had not questioned it at all. Lapse of the tongue, grief buried words and meanings that they often seemed muffled and made no sense.

"Cicadastar is not in StarClan. They...said...his dishonor barred him entry..." Hare Whiskers had given him clarity and for the first time he could finally see what his mate had slowly become...and it didn't matter anymore.
"...I'll never see him again...I went to highstones alone to demand answers....to say goodbye....he's gone. He's gone."

——✘ when does ripple become a tidal wave ———✘ when does a candle become a flame

• OOC can go here.
• 
  
  
  Smokestar
  —⊰⋅ Leader of RiverClan
  —⊰⋅ He/Him
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ Black tom w/vitiligo & one orange eye.
  

​