pafp The world that's waiting up for me (life thread)

Snowshadow

Member
Oct 23, 2022
72
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8
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[] One, two three, turn.
One, two, three, turn.
Paws of deep smoke and a milky white paced the snow-covered ground below with a feathery tail flicking back and forth with what was almost agitation. Did he really say that to Duskfire? What sort of cat just ups and says that someone is important without context? It was in the moment type of thing, but yet it was meaningful- it was meant to be that way. Like nothing was more certain in his chest than that saying Duskfire was an imporant cat in his life, the tom was the closest thing he had to a friend. The one thing that kept his ties to Windclan strong enough besides that of family but even then family ties were weakening by the passing day. Still, it was a lot to unload on an unsupsecting cat and guilt tore at his chest like a badger at the dirt.

Snowshadow sighed heavily, air billowing around his muzzle from the cold, and he slumped down into a sitting position. He had just returned from a night walk with the deputy and now so many things buzzed in his head. What could he bring to Windclan? What was important to him? Who was he now? It was all so much to deal with and he had no one to talk to about it. Who was he gonna spill everything too? Duskfire? That would be humiliation 101 right there and Snowshadow didn't want that.

The black and white tomcat shook his head a bit at the thought, and looked around camp- there had to be someone right? Someone unbiased, someone who could help and listen to him. Then the nursery came into view and he had an idea dawn upon him; the queens! They would understand, they're compassionate and loving individuals! The mountain cat got up onto his paws and made his way over to the den entrance, peaking inside before speaking softly, "Echolight? You in here?" His voice was hesitant, uncertain, and he flicked his ears back against a triangular skull.


Maybe this would be a bad idea. She had enough to worry about with the cold coming and having kittnes, did she really need his own issues clouding her mind? Probably not, but he just felt the urge to talk to someone that was outside of his normal circle. An unbiased opinion if one would ask.

@Echolight .

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Echolight, if anything, was the least helpful person to go to for romantic advice. She had been in love once in her adult life, and now she was single, and expecting.
As terrible as it sounds, and despite the mourning, Echolight had decided recently that her life was… actually going alright. She had found a good friend in Yewberry, had gotten the honor to raise Daisykit alongside Dandelionwish, her relationship with Leechpaw was on the up and up. She was… strangely content- despite all the new and scary motherly feelings that had been popping up out of nowhere.
Her attention is quickly snagged when her name is called sheepishly, having to squint her eye against the dark lighting of the nursery, it took her a moment to recognize Snowshadow.
"Over here." Her voice is a soft hum, careful not to disturb Daisykit or the other two kits that she shared the den with. She gets to her paws with a silent wince, the extra weight putting a strain on her legs.
Still, though, she picks her way through the dispersed nests, until she is only a rabbit length away from the warrior.
"Is everything alright?" The queen questioned with a tilt of her head, a small prickle of nervousness- would it be selfish to hope that there wasn’t a litter of kits hiding behind the tom? Echolight didn’t know if she could handle another few…
"Speech."
[ WHAT A TIME ]
 
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[] Gaze of the setting sun and the lavender flower stared at the queen for a moment as he tried to conjure up the courage; she had to be busy right? She had her paws full as it were with Daisykit and the other kittens that lived in the nursery plus her own expecting litter. Should he really be bothering someone like that? Someone content with life and enjoying it? Snowshadow wished he could say the same about himself, wished he was content with his own life but everything felt chaotic.

"I just-," He started with and gave a soft sigh, "Back home the mothers and caretakers were the most understanding cats, and I suppose I am pushing that here too- but I just need someone to talk to," Echolight and him had very littler interaction, but he knew of her. Knew she was Mallowlarks' sister, that Brightshine was part of her family. Though it was only surface level things but maybe that could work in his favor? She wasn't friend with Duskfire, and maybe she would lend some sort of help?

Snowshadow lowered his head a bit, "If you got your paws full, I understand," He clarified back to her and swished his feathery tail behind him. He didn't want Echolight to be pressured into listening to him ramble on about who knows what. A crisis maybe? Was this what a identity crisis is like? It was uncertain, but certainly felt like it.

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Echolight feels a confusing mix of both relief and guilt when she can see that the tom has not come bearing a bundle of kits- relief for herself, guilt for feeling such a way.
She beckons the tom to step outside of the nursery with a nod of her head, casting her head over her shoulder to make sure the kits were still safely tucked inside before she’d follow him out.
They wouldn’t go far, only about a rabbit-length away from the nursery’s entrance.
Once they’ve settled, Echolight gives Snowshadow an empathetic smile. "Well, you are always welcome to come to me, I’m happy to be an ear for you at the very least" she assures the tom, opting to sit down to give her legs relief from the extra weight. "What’s going on?" She prompts with a curious and possibly slightly concerned furrow of her brow bone.
"Speech."
[ WHAT A TIME ]
 
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[] Echolight was a savior really. Relief washed over his shoulders as she said she was happy to listen to him and they stepped away from the nursery. He hoped he wasn't being too much of a bother on the pregnant she-cat; lord knows she had enough on her plate already. Snowshadow settled down not far from her and gave a soft sigh when asked what was wrong, "I have- been having these feelings,": He started with and swished his feathery tail behind him, "Like it feels more than like? Duskfire and I have gotten close lately and I do not know how to- be affectionate?" Snowshadow sounded so uncertain of himself. That polite and poised nature gone with the wind in place of his insecurities, "There is also the feeling I am loosing my family," That was uttered softly, like he didn't want to admit it to himself. Hyacinthbreath had already left Windclan and he was suspecting his mother would too, but unsure of his siblings.
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