camp then it ain't quite love || first kicks

[betonyfrost]

Whatever denial still clung burr-like to Betonyfrost was removed forcibly over the last half moon. The changes that had been slow at first, a gradual filling out that didn't match her waning appetite and a heaviness to her limbs that made each moment away from her nest feel like missed sleep. After she had moved to the nursery, the changes began to come on far more rapidly. What had been before an excusable amount of extra weight had rapidly become the same concerningly taut bloat of belly riddled with worms, coupled with a need to pick every bit of freshkill dropped at her paws clean.

Things that had been simple before are now each their own ordeal. To stand now took a grunt with effort and to groom was to accept that she simply wasn't going to be able to reach her haunches, no matter the amount of times she repositions herself. When Betonyfrost catches her reflection, wavering in the murky film of an old puddle, she finds herself almost wholly unrecognizable from the face and the body she had always known herself to have. The newness of it all is its own monotony.

Betonyfrost's new place of being has become just outside of the nursery, stretched into whichever position that must have looked uncomfortable to an onlooker but which eased the now familiar ache in her back. She doesn't sleep these days so much as she dozes, head not-quite lolled to one side and eyes opened just enough to see the off-white blear that normally covered them when closed fully. Always caught in the inbetween, a soothing away from sleep and a name call away from awake.

She jolts to something nearer to awake than not, hanging head snapped up and eyes still narrow.

"What? Can't you see I'm..." But then that sleep-slurred voice trails off and her eyes blink to fully open. There isn't anyone immediately near enough to her to have prodded her. Betonyfrost had felt—

She jolts again, moves a paw as if to stand but abandons the notion before she can commit to it. Understanding doesn't come immediately; Betonyfrost holds her breath for a long few moments before the feeling comes again, now recognizably foreign from the prodding she had assumed it to be. Betonyfrost exhales slowly and looks to her flank with new eyes. She hadn't known they would move before being born. She'd assumed...

Betonyfrost doesn't know what she'd assumed.

They're really in there, Betonyfrost thinks, alive and mine, and looks at her distended gut for the first time with something other than an unsaid contempt.​

shadowclan queen | blue mackerel tabby | 19 moons | tags​

 

[Dewfrost]

Whilst Dewfrost did not know Betonyfrost all too well, she had seen the younger she-cat around camp plenty of times, and was cordial enough to acknowledge her when they passed. Betonyfrost's recent move to the nursery had been quite the source of gossip after it happened. Again, Dewfrost did not know the other she-cat well enough to say whether it was unexpected or not, but according to the gossip it was.

Dewfrost isn't sitting too far from Betonyfrost, when she hears the other stir and begins to reprimand someone for supposedly disturbing her. However, by the dawning realisation on Betonyfrost's face, it seemed she had realised that she had been disturbed not by a cat sat next to her, but by the kits growing inside of her. It was a sensation Dewfrost knew well. Dewfrost had had kits once. Those founding members of ShadowClan would possibly remember her children, born shortly before the Great Battle, only to have been taken by a predator in the night never to be seen again - or such was the lie Dewfrost had concocted. "You'll feel them moving more when you get close to giving birth," Dewfrost mewed, looking towards Betonyfrost. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it soon."​

 

[Ravenwatcher.]

So I walk alone down the darkest roads​

---

Motherhood, family, things Ravenwatcher had no understanding of. Not to say at one point she didn't knew, one time she did but, that was in the past. Now, she watch as those around who lose those close to them at an unfair age or due to situations that seemed to of been able to he avoided however, she watched as Betonyfrost seem to stir from the unborn kits that grew within her, showing her that they were there and had swished any denial of it entirely.

She wondered if she too would understood what it would mean to eventually have kits but, for now the dark furred she-cat had no intentions of such things, not when the starvation of the clan was still going on despite the prey beginning to grow plentiful they were still scrawny and some still went to sleep starving, such an unfortunate time to have kits but her blue gaze drifted towards Dewfrost who spoke words of comfort and she hummed a bit, wondering if it was worth even starting a family in the first place ​

"speak""Thoughts"​

 

[betonyfrost]

Betonyfrost's attention is slow to shift to Dewfrost. She hadn't thought she had amazement left in her, had assumed that in her young existence she had already met every situation that could stun her. Every moment of this pregnancy had been uncomfortable or painful; she hadn't known there could be any tenderness to be found here.

"I don't think I have long left," Betonyfrost whispers like an admittance, as if anyone with eyes couldn't tell at a glance, "A halfmoon, maybe a bit longer, if I've counted my days right."

It's a real possibility that Betonyfrost hadn't. She's felt clueless in every aspect of this since it's started — isn't even certain if her ideas on the length of it are accurate. There are innumerable gaps in Betonyfrost's knowledge, the majority of which seems to be information Betonyfrost hadn't even been aware she was missing. When she had first moved into the nursery, Betonyfrost had wished she had thought to ask her mother the countless questions that had drifted in and out of her mind.

Now, with Dewfrost here, Betonyfrost remembers that wish and shifts to better face her.

"Will it ever hurt?" Apprehension leaks into her breathy voice, "Or will—" but that is as far as Betonyfrost gets before the notices Ravenwatcher near.

"Do you need anything or are you just — just eavesdropping?" Betonyfrost doesn't quite snap, her face furrowed, "I'm not tolerating you here, I'm in a good mood that doesn't need to be ruined."​

shadowclan queen | blue mackerel tabby | 19 moons | tags​

 

[Starlingheart]

A check up, that’s what she was here to do. She clutches the watermint leaves, the only thing she could really think so bring. This wasn’t her first time delivering kits, but she still wasn’t quite sure what pregnant mothers were going through. She had been too young to really ask her last patients any questions, to remember to. She thinks back to when Bonejaw had first abandoned her, right on the cusp of leaf-bare with two expectant mothers resting in the nursery and no knowledge on what to do for them.

"H-howre you feeling?" she asks, kneading her paws against the ground nervously, eyes shifting to all the cats present. Were they thinking of Viridianskies right now? Were they thinking of how she had failed her and how she would probably fail Betonyfrost too? She licks her lips, suddenly feeling the need to escape all the scrutinies eyes of her clanmates.

A half moon and her kits would be here. It’s a good time, she tells herself. New-leaf was better than leaf-bare to have kits, that’s what all the adults say after all. It’s when she was born, after all so it must be true. Her mother had not been a fool. "It-it will." she says, thinking back to Snailcurl and trying desperately to keep the other queen out of her mind "B-but I’ll be Ill be there wi-with you and- and I’ll help" there was nothing she could really do about the pain, but she could offer what little guidance she could, could give her a stick to bite down on and instructions to breathe. It would be okay, it had to be.

​

 

[GRANITEPELT]

Granitepaw has little to no opinion of Betonyfrost, but he finds himself fascinated by the prospect of new ShadowClan kits. The gray tom comes to stand near Starlingheart like her ever-present gray shadow, his emerald eyes narrowed with interest as she goes to check the thickening blue tabby's middle.

"Just half a moon," he repeats as though he's in awe. Snailcurl's kitting had been an ordeal -- and of course, Viridianskies had died. Starlingheart would not have been able to save her, but he can see the uncertainty in her face. The slate-pelted warrior gives all those present a challenging look as he says, "Everything will go perfectly. StarClan wants ShadowClan to be strong again. Her kits will be healthy."

It's said, selfishly, for Starlingheart's benefit and not Betonyfrost's.​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

​

 

[Dewfrost]

Dewfrost is surprised when Betonyfrost engages her in conversation, asking her about whether it will hurt or not, before giving a scathing remark to Ravenwatcher. She is taken aback by being dragged into the conversation that it takes her a moment to respond, allowing Starlingheart and Granitepaw to say their pieces. "Like Starlingheart said, it will hurt," Dewfrost confirmed with a nod. She saw no point in sugarcoating things for the soon to be mother. Starlingheart had already given her an answer and she was sure Betonyfrost would appreciate honesty over honeyed words. "It will be uncomfortable for a while with them moving around but the worst pain will come when you give birth to them." There was a strained expression as she thought back to her own experience. "But do not worry you will have you clan to support you. You and your kits will be fine. All will be well."[/font]​

 

[betonyfrost]

Betonyfrost looks at the herbs Starlingheart holds before looking at Starlingheart proper. She hasn't decided how she feels about these little check-ins, both from Starlingheart and the rest of her clanmates. She isn't used to having things done for her, whether it be having freshkill brought to her first or having her nest made up with soft down and new moss. The fussing would be nice under different circumstances — Betonyfrost could close her eyes and pretend she is cared about beyond obligation.

"Are you going to make me eat those or did you just bring them for show? They reek," She grouses and then in answer adds, "The kits started... moving. It's—" Betonyfrost's paw had risen as she spoke, and now it curls at the toes as if she is grasping something invisible at her eye level. It's the first time Betonyfrost has been wishing she had someone to share this with, rather than wish it wasn't happening at all, but that is hardly something Betonyfrost can say in so much company, "It's strange. It's just... strange."

The paw drops limp, and Betonyfrost places her chin atop it. She listens to Starlingheart's reassurances with half an ear, uncertain if it's supposed to be a comfort that she'll be in the company of someone who looks like they'd be better suited perpetually soaked through their pelt and shivering at a twoleg's doorstep.

But then there is Granitepaw two steps behind Starlingheart. He mentions StarClan and Betonyfrost cannot help but listen, head once more lifted and wilted ears perked. This has felt like a mess since the start but could it be that it was fate? Betonyfrost had been convinced that she would meet her death over Leafbare, and yet breathed despite that. Could it be that she was alive for a reason?

"Of course they'll be healthy," Betonyfrost agrees, but once more feels uncertain. "I've hardly lifted a paw in work since— ah, I've been eating well and haven't done anything for them to be unhealthy." The tacked on and nervous right? isn't spoken so much as it is implied with the flattening of her ears, "Has anyone said anything to you about it? Any of you?"

Dewfrost confirms what the others had said — it will hurt, but Betonyfrost won't die. Not like that other queen. Betonyfrost supposes there must have been something visibly obvious about Viridianskies that made her impending death apparent to anyone who knew what to look for. Which must be how everyone could tell Betonyfrost she was going to be fine. Viridianskies had looked like a normal queen to Betonyfrost, but she's never been one for paying attention to what the queens were doing.

"But if something did go, uh, unexpected, we could still..." Betonyfrost found that there wasn't a delicate way to ask if she was going to die because her clan decided to pretend that things tended to go right for Betonyfrost rather than prepare for the worst, "There's always something to be done in those cases?"​

shadowclan queen | blue mackerel tabby | 19 moons | tags​