THERE I AM AGAIN ☾ lightstrike

[Moonwhisper]

—————————————————————⊰☾⊱————————————————————

The last time she was here at Sunningrocks it was during the battle to claim it. She'd rarely come this way often before and most her patrols and hunting parties didn't venture to this area. Moonwhisper didn't like the reminder of the time she watched her grandmother die to RiverClan claws, she didn't like the memory of the curved scar hidden under long fur at her right shoulder where a cat with a vendetta against her father thought to leave his mark. She never even liked the name of the place much either if she was being honest. Sunningrocks, a place to sun yourself. It had been wasted on RiverClan who didn't take advantage of the extra hunting land since they were so pretentious they prefered to fish and gloat about that. Still, there was some merit to the name itself, she'd found a flat stone just beneath sun still warmed from the morning rays she could settle on to get comfortable and her ears flicked as she heard Lightstrike join her.
It was peaceful, quiet. So much had happened recently that she almost felt guilty for enjoying a moment of solace when her clan and family had been so shaken. Berryheart was gone and she'd never hear him quietly call her by her nickname again, gently chide her for acting too much like her uncle, offer a playful wink when he heard her complaining of something trivial and uninteresting. He was a good cat, he hadn't deserved to go like he did choking on his own inability to breath. She wonders if her mother came to greet him...

"He asked me to be a medicine cat, you know." She said suddenly, head tilting and she glanced to her cream tabby companion with a pensive expression, "I told him no. I wanted to be a warrior, but I sometimes wonder if I should've accepted." Would she have gotten to see her mother one last time at the Moonstone or in her dreams as a star-blessed healer? Would she have been able to talk to Morningpaw again and settle the survivor's guilt that still gnawed at her to this day. She didn't know and now she never would. Even if she wanted to be a medicine cat now, which she didn't, she would not tolerate being in the same den as Hailstorm.
"Maybe my name would've been different. Moonleaf. Moonberry. Having to stay in camp so much would've been too much I think. Medicine cats can't have kits either, so they can focus entirely on their own clan. I don't think I would've cared about that before but now I'm not sure."
Did she ever want kits? Moonwhisper had never given it much thought, but she remembers hearing how quickly her sister had put out a litter - practically the day she was made a warrior - and she feels a heavy disdain for those offspring that were born in what she seemed apparent means to appeal to their ThunderClan family for some kind of affection. It was pathetic. The thought of kits was hardly something she needed to dwell on when she could barely get her own feelings regarding romance sorted.

☾ break all the rules - live like a queen or die like a fool ☽ —— do you care what they think

• @LIGHTSTRIKE .
• 
  
  
  Moonwhisper
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ThunderClan
  —⊰⋅ She/Her
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ LH Tortiseshell point w/ice blue eyes
  

​

 

[LIGHTSTRIKE .]

❝ WE HAVE YET TO CRASH ✧°.☀ —————————————————————————————
It wasn't uncommon for Lightstrike to join Moonwhisper on meandering walks to get away from the bustling of camp. Recently, in the wake of Berryheart's death, even more so. He... felt terribly for her, having lost so much, but he knew she wouldn't want the pity. He wouldn't either. Instead, he kept it to himself, even if he found himself gravitating ever closer.

They'd ended up at Sunningrocks this time, and the golden warrior hardly hesitated to clamber atop a stone and settle down beside her. While the air was cold, the winter sun was warm, however indirect it may be compared to the rays of greenleaf.

Moonwhisper was the first to break the silence; an unusual thing that had gradually become more common between the two. Lightstrike's ear twitched, and he looked her way. It wasn't hard to figure out what - who - she was talking about. "I don't think I could imagine you as a medicine cat if I tried," he said quietly once she'd paused. "You're a warrior through and through." Fierce. Strong. Near unshakeable. Traits he envied, but thoughts he'd never voiced.

Part of him wanted to smile, however slight, at her musing. Aside from a twitch of his lips, it didn't manage. His mirroring sullen expression shifted. "Not sure?" he echoed. "About kits? You want kits someday?" Frankly, he hadn't pegged her to be the type. As for himself, he, well... he'd never considered it, really.

Green eyes dropped to the space between his paws, and he folded them beneath his chest to defend them from the chill. A breath clouded before him. Finally, a more proper smile crept onto his face. "It's hard to think about," he commented. "You with a bunch of kits crawling all over you, I mean. A bunch of mini-yous. ThunderClan would sure have its work cut out for it," he lightly jabbed her way, and his look turned a bit more smug.

[penned by its_oliverr - ☀]

——————————— ☀.°✧ BUT WE STILL MAY AS WELL ENJOY IT ❞ ​

​

 

[Moonwhisper]

—————————————————————⊰☾⊱————————————————————

"I can't imagine it much either, but it was an option for me once. I just wonder what things might be like if.." If she was there when Berryheart had died? Would she have been able to do what Hailstorm could not? It was pretentious to think otherwise but she couldn't help but think it all the same; was she more capable a cat than the tom who had failed her family twice? It was wrong to blame him, part of her knew that but even with that acknowledgement she didn't reject it - she held fast to the one source of comfort she could get, the blame being settled on an individual she could hate. It was easier that way, there was no closure in dismissing death as 'something that just happens'.
"...but thank you, I'm glad to hear. I don't think I'd be happy in another life where I was a healer." Despite the struggles of it, the life of a warrior suited her even if she often felt lost in how she was to hold herself.

When he seemed appalled, or perhaps that wasn't the right word, when he seemed surprised at her consideration for kits she almost glared at him on instinct alone as if unsure if he was mocking her or not. It was a reflexive response, she knew Lightstrike had a tendency to shove a paw in his mouth more than once but he was never truly meanspirited. When he smiled she tentatively responsed with her own, "I don't DISLIKE kits, I think if they were mine I would like them a lot more though. They'd be more like me, I could make sure they were respectful."
Behavior started with blood and then the nursery, it was why none of Sunfreckle's kits had any sense of decorum or responsbility because the kittypet blood had already ruined them and their coddling fathers did the rest. She, at least, had managed to overcome the first part and the second had been a struggle as well but Raccoonstripe pushed her back onto the right path. As much of a pain as he was, she had him to thank for her confidence even if most of it was a front for her uncertainty.
"And what about you? Would a bunch of little Lightkits not be the most terrifying thing to unleash on the clan?"

☾ break all the rules - live like a queen or die like a fool ☽ —— do you care what they think

•  
• 
  
  
  Moonwhisper
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ThunderClan
  —⊰⋅ She/Her
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ LH Tortiseshell point w/ice blue eyes
  

​

 

[LIGHTSTRIKE .]

❝ WE HAVE YET TO CRASH ✧°.☀ —————————————————————————————
Lightstrike hummed, his own thoughts wandering in line with her. She had been there to guide him to Berryheart's den when he had obtained the gruesome wound on his shoulder from a WindClan apprentice. What would it have been like to have her treating his injuries instead? He didn't think on it long. "I bet you would have terrible nestside manners anyway." From where it lay tucked against his side, he flicked the wispy fur of his tail tip against her cheek, and he briefly stuck out his tongue.

At last Moonwhisper smiled, however tentative and small, and his own grew a bit more warmly. It seemed so rare from her nowadays. "More respectful, huh? Kits are alright, I guess. It's fun to mess with them from time to time. Kinda loud, though, I think." Especially when they got... squeal-y.

Once again he shifted upon the stone, ever restless, and he faced forward again, closing his eyes. "I've just never thought about it, I guess. I've never really imagined you hanging all over somebody like that and having kits. You seem more like the council type. Deputy type." A pause. "I mean, I would make you my deputy if I were leader for sure."

Another pause. "Oh. Sorry. That sounded kinda mean," he tacked on retrospectively without elaboration.

The thought of 'Lightkits' made him erupt in a bark of laughter. "Lightkits? Yeah. Could you imagine that? A bunch of tiny little mes running about? That would be the greatest thing ever. And the weirdest thing ever. It would be like... I don't know. Terrifying is right, and rightfully so!" Lightstrike raised his chin as he looked to her, grin wide.

[penned by its_oliverr - ☀]

——————————— ☀.°✧ BUT WE STILL MAY AS WELL ENJOY IT ❞ ​

​

 

[Moonwhisper]

—————————————————————⊰☾⊱————————————————————

She huffed at that, remembering quite clearly the same thing that was crossing his mind and while she didn't exactly think he was wrong it was not exactly her fault either, "Well, maybe if I had patients who weren't stubborn and stayed in the den my bedside manner might've been nicer." Her nose wrinkles, expression twisting into a scowl but there was still a lightheartedness to her that made the anger obviously exaggerated and playful rather than genuine. Lightpaw had certainly not made her uncle's work very easy, especially after what had happened with her sister. He was reckless, he'd always been, it was a wonder he came back to her from the journey at all.

"Kits are cute, at least, it's always nice to see the nursery full though I don't know how the queens can stand to be in it for so long." And with the new code? It was even longer a time trapped within the confines of camp. Mulling it all over in her head she finds herself bothered by how her strong family bloodline was sullied with SkyClan weakness and a former WindClanner on top of that as if it couldn't possibly get worse; the only thing Howlfire could've done to ruin those kits further was to take an actual collared kittypet as a mate instead. His next words choke out a sound that is partially a gasp of surprise and a snort of dismay.
"YOU would make me YOUR deputy?" She laughs, shaking her head at the notion of the possibility of Lightstar at all let alone with her as his deputy. No, she would much rather see that reversed, "Well, when I'M leader you can be MY deputy too." The very idea of one day standing where her grandmother once did sent another thrill of eagerness down her spine, it felt like something far away though - like the very stars she wished to wind into her name. Howlingstar had only just trusted her enough for an apprentice, it was likely her brother would be leader before she even got the chance to join ThunderClan's council in any regard. The closest she had come was when Berryheart offered to mentor her. The thought makes her shake her head, not wanting to let such thoughts sour her mood when she was finally feeling somewhat better thanks in part to Lightstrike's jovial demeanor.

"Still, I don't know. I don't hate the idea of kits even if doesn't seem like it suits me. Even if they were loud or like you I think I'd still like them cause I made them and I don't find you quite as irritating as you might think I do."

☾ break all the rules - live like a queen or die like a fool ☽ —— do you care what they think

•  
• 
  
  
  Moonwhisper
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ThunderClan
  —⊰⋅ She/Her
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ LH Tortiseshell point w/ice blue eyes
  

​

 

[LIGHTSTRIKE .]

❝ WE HAVE YET TO CRASH ✧°.☀ —————————————————————————————
"Hey! I said if I were leader, not when!" He didn't particularly want to be leader. Busy all the time with copious amounts of stress compared to what he already had? Hard pass. "Fine, then. I'll be your deputy, but I don't wanna be a leader. No way." It sounded nice, answering to her and her alone. He wouldn't mind that. Not even Nightbird could boss him around.

Abruptly Lightstrike huffed, rising to his paws and lowering his chest to the stone in a quivering stretch. Then he stepped across Moonwhisper and draped himself across her back with a grunt, his nose brushing the ground with each of their exhales. He didn't bother to fix it for the time being. Having been in the sun, she was warmer than the stone, anyway.

The golden warrior let out something bordering a lighthearted scoff, responding before he'd even thought the words through. "I should hope you would like them if they were like me! A bunch of Lightkits would..." He trailed off.

Lightstrike raised his head and looked at her, the implication of his own words (or her words?) hitting him all at once. "Wait." His ears grew real warm real fast. "Uh. Shit. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I mean... What do- what did you mean?"

[penned by its_oliverr - ☀]

——————————— ☀.°✧ BUT WE STILL MAY AS WELL ENJOY IT ❞ ​

​

 

[Moonwhisper]

—————————————————————⊰☾⊱————————————————————

"Well I'm glad you came around to see things my way." Her dappled ears flicked forward in amusement to how quickly he reconsidered his stance and she knew it was because being leader was probably daunting for someone who lived life so casually; she often wondered if Lightstrike took anything seriously but then she remembered how vehemently he had insisted on going on the journey and how furious she'd been at him for leaving - his nonchalant attitude covered up a very caring cat deep down under layers of lazy cream tabby.

Moonwhisper's tail flicked once in silent irritation as he casually dropped across her back without warning or even permission but her only real response was a brief wrinkling of her nose at the sudden weight before she pushed her paws out in a stretch before her so they weren't cramped beneath her chest now that she was pressed down on the stone more heavily. She gave a dismissive snort when he seemed appalled at the mere idea of her not liking kits who took after him but before she could offer a petty retort, something akin to 'one of you is enough' he cut himself off and stammered out in confusion. They had been speaking so calmly, so casually, that her words had not even occurred to her as having crossed some invisible line somewhere. The tortie point felt herself heat up beneath her pale and spotted coat, ears pinning back as the insides of them turned a brilliant shade of dark pink.
"Wh-what do YOU mean? I was just..." What WAS she just implying? It was all in jest, a joke between friends, of course. Of course it was, it had nothing to do with how much she missed him when he'd left to the mountains, how furious she was at Mousenose for her petty little mindgames. Friends talked like this all the time, naturally. What friends didn't discuss the possibility of starting a family with one another? "Oh stars..." Moonwhisper's voice was a strained mutter, a quiet curse under her breath.

She wasn't fooling anyone, even herself at this rate but facing it and admitting it was not something she could stand for and she wasn't entirely sure way. Was it the illusion of control? Her insistence she needed no one else but herself? She remembers Howlingstar calling her a lone wolf, finds herself gritting her teeth subconciously at the image of it and her grandmother's following words that even a lonely wolf needed a pack. She had dismissed it, but now...
"What? Are you...are you saying you wouldn't want to be...?" She huffed then, her shoulders tensed and her legs stiffened as she pushed herself up to stand suddenly with a buck to launch him off of her back. Once again she let anger cloak her true feelings because it was easier to manage.

☾ break all the rules - live like a queen or die like a fool ☽ —— do you care what they think

•  
• 
  
  
  Moonwhisper
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ThunderClan
  —⊰⋅ She/Her
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ LH Tortiseshell point w/ice blue eyes
  

​

 

[LIGHTSTRIKE .]

❝ WE HAVE YET TO CRASH ✧°.☀ —————————————————————————————
There the two of them sat, floundering and confused. Heat grew between the two of them, and he was quite certain she would be able to feel the heart that now pounded in his chest. Moonwhisper had turned the question right back to him, but she too trailed off into nothing.

Lightstrike's mushy mind didn't have a chance to conjure anything up; not that it could have. She was speaking again, and it made his heart lurch in a panic he couldn't quite sift out. "Uh—"

Then she was rising to her full height, kicking him off, and he was suddenly staring up at her on his back with eyes that were comically wide. "I-I- I didn't say that..." Wait. He just did it again. Stop it, idiot! What are you saying!?

She's mad.

She's embarrassed, too.

The golden tom's heart was racing as if he'd run all the way to Fourtrees and back. He swallowed dryly. Was she- did she—

Was he?

Furious icy eyes that contained far too much stared down at him, blotting out the sun overhead and everything else until it was just her. Lightstrike looked small, and it was perhaps the meekest she had ever seen the headstrong tom in that moment. At the same time, there was a sense of reverence in the way he regarded her as the way the puzzle pieces clicked together.

The bewildered stiffness in his posture seemed to melt away, even if his ears remained tilted back and his heart continued to pound. "Uh- you... want to? With me?" It was once again horrible wording on his part, and he reached up with floundering paws in a jolt as if to hold her in place. "Uh-! I mean-! You- I—"

His jaw shut with an audible click.

[penned by its_oliverr - ☀]

——————————— ☀.°✧ BUT WE STILL MAY AS WELL ENJOY IT ❞ ​

​

 

[Moonwhisper]

—————————————————————⊰☾⊱————————————————————

Moonwhisper often forgets how much larger she is than most cats, its not by a lot but its noticable in certain circumstances, such as when she is standing over a cat on the ground. She did not intend to be so aggressive in her display, towering like a monolith, her fury righteous and her head haloed by the backdrop of light from the sun as she loomed down over him with lips curled and teeth barred; to anyone else it would have looked as if she was preparing to kill him, to sink her teeth into a cream white throat, but she settled back on her haunches with an expression almost pitiful at his stammering despite the rage still melting the ice of her eyes. Part of her wants to scream at him, but he's already dissolved into barely being coherent and she feels as if pushing that far would melt him into a puddle of gold beneath her paws.

Her spotted muzzle tilts down, neatly taps under his chin with a little too much force to be purely affection; a gesture demanding an answer, attention, "If-! If you don't like me then just say it! That's fine! But I...like you...and..."
It was not fine. Would it kill her to just be friends? It would, she knows it would and she knows it would twist into resentment and she'd grow to despise him within a few moons from now but she couldn't stand the thought of just holding her tongue further. Not after having had to face the realization herself and her growing animosity to any cat that even pretended to look in his general direction.

☾ break all the rules - live like a queen or die like a fool ☽ —— do you care what they think

•  
• 
  
  
  Moonwhisper
  —⊰⋅ Warrior of ThunderClan
  —⊰⋅ She/Her
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  —⊰⋅ LH Tortiseshell point w/ice blue eyes
  

​

 

[LIGHTSTRIKE .]

❝ WE HAVE YET TO CRASH ✧°.☀ —————————————————————————————
Moonwhisper stoops down then, near shoving her nose beneath his chin, and a bolt of lightning shoots its way up his spine. Lightstrike was pretty sure his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He swallowed hard.

There it was, plain as day and out in the open. I like you.

Oh stars.

Lightstrike was nervous, sure, but he was suddenly and overwhelmingly excited. A somewhat hoarse, breathy laugh tugged itself from his throat then, his paws tugging closer to his chest. Oh man.

He and Moonwhisper had been friends since they were young. Most of their lives, really. And now she was- was she suggesting that? Suddenly, the idea appealed to him. It appealed to him a lot, actually. Excitement settled itself into his belly. Boldness enveloped him.

Suddenly, Lightstrike pushed back up into her, head lifting from the ground and closing his eyes in a near scrunch. "I think I like you too," he mumbled into her fur.

[penned by its_oliverr - ☀]

——————————— ☀.°✧ BUT WE STILL MAY AS WELL ENJOY IT ❞ ​

​