THERE WAS NOTHING TO FEAR \ howlingstar

[BERRYHEART]

The catmint was working- there was nothing to worry about. Still, though- he felt glittering eyes upon him, watching, waiting. Yes, it was anticipation in their gazes- silver, thoughtful. They were seeing his breath return to normal before they were to depart, he was sure- and he knew that the sickness would not kill him. His appetite was crawling back, his drowsiness was almost back to its luxurious level. And yet...

He heard her before he saw her, green eyes closed in rest. Opening askew, he saw his mother in the light, a mirror of her son only days ago, prey grasped in her jaws. Unlike Stripes, though, he did not greet his mother with scorn. Something wasn't right, distinctly... why else would they watch so close. And there would be no better opportunity to tell her. But first, etiquette- "Thank you." His voice was as monotonous as ever, given gravel by his sickness.

"Good timing," he said, inviting her to take a seat. Silent expectation in his eyes would reveal to her that he was gearing up for a conversation, huddled in the quiet, just as they had done when his dream of the journey had struck. The dream that dictated ThunderClan as the protector of the five, the Clan most dedicated to ensuring all would remain whole. "I have to speak with you."

Giving her time to settle, he waited patiently. "I am afraid..." he began, but trailed off, shaking his head. Hesitation. It was uncouth, really, but how to say it? "I must... inform you. I feel... very close to StarClan. They are watching me... I almost feel them nearing."

\ @HOWLINGSTAR ​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

She isn't worried like she has been. The catmint SkyClan has so graciously given them is working, she hears from Hailstorm. Berryheart is recovering, so there is no need to be concerned. Just like Yellowcough, he will overcome this. For he is her son, and he is strong. She hopes to see that strength shining in his olive eyes as she pushes into the medicine den, a squirrel clutched in her teeth. Her gaze lights up at the sight of him awake and well, and she sets down the fresh-kill next to his paws. "You look better," She mews softly to him, smile spreading across her face before she catches the serious look in his eye.

I have to speak with you, He says and she sits down with a tilt of her head. "What is it?" She trills, only a hint of concern finding its way into her voice. Because there can't be anything too wrong, can there? He is getting better. Greencough will be a thing of the past very soon thanks to their neighbors. Her face drops when he speaks next, confusion cloaking her. "What do you mean nearing? I don't understand. Are they trying to tell you something? Another prophecy, perhaps?"​

 

[BERRYHEART]

The look in her eyes was one of confusion, apprehension prickling in her verdant eyes. Guilt raked claws across Berryheart's gut, breaths hoarsened by an onslaught of uncharacteristic nervousness. Another prophecy, perhaps? Obviously, Berryheart was loathe to say it- to admit ignorance. He strived to know all, and yet... after some hesitation, he admitted it. "I don't know."

He let the words marinate for a few seconds, seeping beneath the skin like poison. Dull green eyes narrowed in concentration, it was clear Berryheart was concentrating deeply, his words picked as carefully as if he were walking through a rose nest. "I hope that's the answer. But I worry..." he swallowed. Admitting fear, an obscured future, it was difficult for him. It always had been. That which lay past what he knew was boundlessly frustrating, and had been a problem he had dealt with all throughout his station as ThunderClan's healer.

"I worry they are lingering because... though greencough won't kill me, something else might." Stoicism faltered, and Berryheart found he could not look at her. He was sure that his illness would not be his death, but... who knew what else lay dormant? His breath still was not returning as quickly as it should. ​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Seeing her son so uncertain has her on edge. She has never known him as a cat that didn’t have the answers. His words hang in the air for a moment while both cats remain silent, holding their breath. Howlingstar’s eyes search the ground for a moment as she thinks, but her pondering is interrupted by Berryheart’s next thoughts.

Her brows lift in shock as he delivers his conclusion. Her head is shaking before her mouth even moves, heart plummeting into her paws. “No,” She states, as if it’s the most certain fact in the world. “That won’t happen. I won’t let it.” Emotion chokes her words and she leans forward to touch her nose delicately to the tortoiseshell’s ear, her chest squeezed in fear’s tight grip. Nothing, nothing, could take her little son away, not after she’s already lost so much. She can’t lose another child, she just can’t. And Berryheart is her medicine cat, her advisor, her closest confidant. There is no universe in which she leads this clan without him by her side. “There has to be another reason. There has to.” ​

 

[BERRYHEART]

Oh, how he wished he could soothe her- by any means necessary. By herbs or a prayer. But none of that on her would save him from whatever fate lurked in the eyes of the stars. Whatever fate they could see, and he could not. Their mystery had always been slightly frustrating to him, but until now it had never served to make him miserable. Denial coated his mother's voice, and a shaky breath began to stutter from him. "Maybe." He was reluctant to say it, but it was not technically untrue. His heart still twinged as if he lied, all the same. "But I don't know." With the slightest crack of tearfulness, his voice gave in for a moment, stoicism sprawled with hairline cracks as he leant into her touch.

It hurt him to say it, to ask her to imagine it, to think of it himself. "If it happens," and it will be an it, inanimate and respectless, until he was certain of its existence, "SkyClan's medicine cat is the one who exceeds me in wisdom. My apprentice cannot be left... untaught, as I was." With uneven green eyes, he looked to her- mossy met verdant, and there was silent pleading there. To accept this, if nothing else.​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

The cracking of his voice breaks her heart. Her expression crumbles, for she is never strong enough to hold herself together when her children are hurting. She pushes herself closer to him and shoves her nose into his neck, uncaring of the greencough that still may cling to him. They have catmint, thanks to SkyClan. She'll be fine. It's him she's worried about.

If it happens, And her eyes squeeze shut, fighting the tears that threaten to gather. No, She wants to say, but she resorts to a silent, slow shake of her head. She doesn't have it in her to verbally argue with him, not right now. She pulls away to peer into his eyes, soaking in his instructions with pain flickering with each beat of her heart. Her jaws part for a moment, but nothing comes out - she wants to keep arguing. But finally, she resigns to a sigh, her shoulders slumping. "I understand," She murmurs, her voice low as emotion grips her. "But StarClan willing, we won't need him. You will finish Hailstorm's training." She blinks a tear away as she looks back up at him through her damp lashes, stifling a sniffle. Because there is no world where she leads, and he is not beside her.​