there's an evil lurking in the dark | training in fright

[Patchpaw [in.]]

THERE'S A WORLD THAT WAS MEANT FOR OUR EYES TO SEE​

---

Failed, again. Patchpaw laid on her back a few feet away, panting heavily from the stressful sparring session with Rabbitnose. It had been nothing but failure after failure, and it was becoming evident there was something else on her mind--she couldn't keep her focus on Rabbitnose. Twice she had suddenly lashed out when he had leapt towards her, first nearly scratching his face then almost nicking his ear--she was grateful she hadn't done any damage. And as she dragged her sore body back up onto her feet, she could feel her claws digging into the sandy ground of the camp below her, and she forced herself to sheathe them again. She could feel Rabbitnose's eyes on her, watching her, and shame burned in her stomach.
She had been doing so well--where did it all go?

"I'm--I'm sorry Rabbitnose, I can't keep my attention on this. Can we please just call it a day?" Hardly waiting for an answer, Patchpaw had already turned away from him--she wasn't sure why her footsteps were automatically directing her towards the medicine cat's den, but there was a second in which she hesitated. It was unfair to Rabbitnose if she turned her back to him, even now as she ended the session herself.
In truth, her mind had been a whirlwind of pain and emotions that threatened to burst from her skin like an oozing sickness. All of this agony and death that now closed its jaws around the ThunderClan camp.

This is what happens to cats like you. She never felt such a haunted shiver run through her bones at the memory of its voice. No longer did these borders protect her, and the brambled thorns and heavy thicket making up the camp walls provided little extra safety, even if it was from the prying eyes of dogs or cats. Her own loved ones were losing tails and losing their lives every time they stepped outside camp. There was no safety, and her fur stood on end from the scorching heat of fear licking through it.

"... Is it really safe here anymore?" Patchpaw stood unmoving as she spoke, before she turned her head barely enough to look over her shoulder and back at him, pupils thinned to lines from fear.​

 

[Rabbitnose]

Rabbitnose could see Patchpaw was distracted. He couldn't blame her, a lot was happening right now. Shadowclan was stealing prey, and dogs were hunting in their forest. It was hard not to be on edge.

He had been increasing her combat training, he wanted her to be ready when danger struck. He wouldn't always be there to help her, so he wanted to make sure she could help herself. But if she wasn't feeling it today.....

"Of course we can." He said, going to sit beside her. "Are you okay?" He asked. She was usually so cheerful, she wasn't allowed to be sad!!!

Her next question made him frown. Were they safe here? Well... He would have to honest with her.

"It is.... But things can always happen." He said. "When dogs are around.... Nowhere is safe."

He would know.

"That's why we have to be ready to fight. Our home is worth fighting for." He explained. "But no matter what happens, I will keep you safe. I won't fail you again. He added.

He wouldn't let anything hurt her again.
​

 

[Patchpaw [in.]]

THERE'S A WORLD THAT WAS MEANT FOR OUR EYES TO SEE​

---

When dogs are around, nowhere is safe. Her ears flatten and she straightens up, lifting her head with that same frightened yet steadfast expression in her eyes. Despite her short stature and spindly legs, Patchpaw no longer looked like the same fuzzy kit she had been four moons ago when she was first apprenticed to Rabbitnose, but the scars across her face remained, cutting through her eyebrow and over the bridge of her nose.
"Nothing feels safe." She stands up suddenly, muscles as rigid as the thick oak trees towering over their heads. "And that's the fun part about all of this--nothing has ever felt safe. Apparently, the very barn I was born at burned down, and--and I can't even go back. I don't want to go back, I don't feel anything for that barn, I want to stay here with you and Howling Wind, with the other warriors and apprentices--but something, something keeps screaming at me to run, to flee while you still can! Because cats like me don't belong here--because I don't belong here!"

Patchpaw turned to fully face him once more, directly meeting his gaze, "And then Morningpaw fucking dies from a stupid skirmish over prey. What will happen next with ShadowClan trying to steal prey from us, when we're already struggling as it is? Will Wildpaw get himself killed in the paws of another ShadowClan warrior, will Cloudypaw or Lichenpaw get caught in the fight? What about the warriors? Raccoonstripe and Covecatcher--you and Sunfreckle? Or what about the dogs, knowing that they slaughtered Emberstar in cold blood?"
She takes a deep breath, turning back away before her tirade grew any worse. You're getting ahead of yourself, Patchpaw--calm down, she scolds herself. Her sides cramp up from her tensed shoulders and she winces, gingerly settling herself back down. She took it all out on Rabbitnose, who was completely innocent in all of this--none of it was his fault.

"Look--I'm training as hard as I can. I'm holding together because everyone else needs me. I have to keep hoping, I have to keep going because I can't just leave you all to die. So here I am, even though some of this never made sense to me. We shouldn't be fighting when we're already down on numbers and prey is scarce! The dogs I understand, but can't ShadowClan see we're struggling, too?"​