they'll be mornings when the ashes and embers are cold - blazestar

[emberstar]

"AND THOUGH THE EMBERS ARE NEW, WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T LET THE FIRE DIE"​

Emberstar had gone alone to Skyclan.

Without a word to anyone, she had slipped away. It was unlike her. There was a time when she would have dealt with any and all problems like this, head on and on her own. Now though, she was different. Better, maybe. Certainly she was less careless with her own safety. She had a team of friends that were meant to help her, especially with things like this.

Which of them could she go to though? Howling Wind, the grieving grandmother? Berryheart, who had to care for the injured from the skirmish? Flamewhisker, who had come bearing the terrible news? Or Flycatcher, who had to comfort her? She didnt want to disturb a one of them.

Besides, it felt right to go alone for this. It would be wrong to march with warriors at her side toward Skyclan right after what had happened.

Better she was alone.

The Skyclan border came too soon, and she set herself down alongside it. She was unusually still, at least for her. Not a part of her fidgeted or twitched. For once, she managed to look something like a leader.

"I am here to speak with Blazestar." Emberstar called out, as loud as she dared. Her voice echoed between the lines she had once called home. It was strange to think she might not be welcome there, now. "I come in peace and I am alone."​

⁎ ✦ ★ ✦ ⁎​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮​

The NPC warrior who comes to inform Blazestar of her arrival has his jaw set, eyes burning like the frost bending the pine branches. The Ragdoll lifts his head from strange dreams, blinking sand from his eyes. "Who?" He murmurs. Someone has come from ThunderClan, he caught that part.

ThunderClan. His heart stills. Little Wolf? His mate had been grieving with her family. He has not seen her since... since before Morningpaw...

He stands, staggering, moss and bits of twig falling from his coat. For the first time since Flamewhisker and Deersong had borne his daughter's body back to camp, he gives his paw a lick and scrubs it against his cheek. "Tell Little Wolf I'll be out in a second," he tells the NPC. He must look capable for her, he must be capable for her, a grieving mother--

The NPC looks puzzled. "What? Blazestar, I said Emberstar is here."

He takes his paw away from his face, still. "Emberstar?" No wonder the cat's face had held such anger, such disdain. "Is she... alone?"

The NPC nods, and Blazestar stops his grooming. He shakes his head; the young she-cat shouldn't be alone in camp, and anything she has to say is for his eares alone. He flops back into his nest and mutters, "Bring her to my den. Tell Deersong and Daisyflight not to let anyone disturb me."

When he sees the golden she-cat's lithe, scarred form shadow the mouth of his den, Blazestar inhales sharply. A border skirmish, one he had not authorized, had taken his daughter's life. Had Emberstar? Surely not, surely not -- he knows Emberstar, knows she isn't a prey thief, knows she does not condone senseless violence.

And yet. His kit lies dead, fur threaded with precious lavender and mint, prepared for burial.

"What do you want, Emberstar?" His voice is curiously devoid of hostility, as is his expression. He only looks as though he'd been kicked by the meanest of housefolk until every bone in his body had shattered. "What is it you have to say to me?"

- ,,​

​

 

[emberstar]

"AND THOUGH THE EMBERS ARE NEW, WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T LET THE FIRE DIE"​

All her fears were realized as she made her way to Blazestar's den. Her pelt prickled at the fury in the gazes affixed on her. It made her heart ache. The clans were meant to be allies, friends even. That was her ideal, at least. In practice there were only two clans for which that had ever been true. One less now.

Emberstar ducked inside the leader's den, and froze. She knew that Blazestar would be grieving, but this? The Ragdoll looked halfway to joining his daughter, there was no shine in his eye and his pelt was matted and decorated with dirt. It reminded her of how her mother had looked, toward the end. There was no hostility in his greeting, at least, but his tone was dead and curt. As though awaiting more bad news from her. She had thought that they could commiserate, share in their grief. All she had wanted was to help, to be a shoulder to cry on for him.

Now her very presence felt like an intrusion.

"I wanted to offer my condolences, if you'd take them." Emberstar offered, falteringly. The words felt worthless, in the face of this. They were supposed to be friends, she had thought they were. Their stations were too big for that right now. First they were leaders and fathers and a thousand other things. Their clans and families sat between them. The blood and death that had happened on the border sat between them. If only she had stayed in the pine forest, she thought, perhaps then they could have been friends for real.

"But," she added reluctantly, and she hated that she had to continue. How she wished her only responsibility was to comfort her friend. "I also needed to ask you, what are you going to do now?"

The words reminded her of when last they spoke. After the gathering moons ago, when they had discussed Windclan. She had said the same things then, she realized. Offered condolences and asked what would happen next. Only now, it wasn't some far off clan that had wronged him. It was her own.​

⁎ ✦ ★ ✦ ⁎​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮​

The hurt on Emberstar's face makes him feel worse. He can barely stand to look at her, a sunspot in the dark security of his den. She isn't supposed to be here. He'd wanted to wallow, he'd wanted to pretend this was no one's fault, pretend if he slept long enough, he could join StarClan and meet his daughter, he could avoid having to face those who still walk the forest.

"I wanted to offer my condolences, if you'd take them." Blazestar bows his head. "If that's why you're here, then you needn't have bothered." It's said hollowly, sadly, slowly, a trickle of blood pouring from a slow-bleeding open wound. "But yes, I will accept your condolences."

She didn't leave, though, and that's what he'd wanted -- to be left to his shadows and his dreams. "I also needed to ask you, what are you going to do now?"

He looks up, startled back into reality. She's looking at him intently, the question blooming between them like a flower grown in hostile earth. What am I going to do now, Emberstar? Apologize to my mate for choosing to lead this Clan instead of be by her side? Apologize to my daughter for making the boundaries that she died for?

It slowly dawns on him that she's asking him if he will retaliate against her. If he will send his warriors into battle against her, the Clan of his mate, the Clan where his children still reside. He smiles, but it's a strange gesture on a face worn with grief.

"I'm going to do nothing." He shifts in his nest. "You thought I'd send SkyClan against you? My mate and her family still live in your Clan. If I can avoid hurting my loved ones more than I have already..." His voice loses force, becomes a rasp. "Then that's the route I must take."

- ,,​

​

 

[emberstar]

IT WENT FROM A SPARK TO AN OPEN FLAME ⋆⁺₊⋆ "Of course I needed to." The Thunderclan leader refuted simply. If that had been her only reason for coming, she would have. It would have been an easier visit then.

Despair blossomed in her heart as she listened to her friend speak. He sounded so broken so lost. It was terrible that a cat who had been so strong had been reduced to this. Out of all the leaders, she had always respected him most. Not because of any slight she found with Cicadastar, but Blazestar was a leader and a father and that had always impressed her. She didn't think she'd be able to handle both of those at once. She doubted she would ever be a mother.

More than that, though, she had known him before he was a leader. When he was just a scared kittypet who wandered into the forest. He had grown so much since then, and she knew it. How could she feel anything but respect for him?

"No." Emberstar shook her head. "I know you would not go to war. I wouldn't think that of you. I just meant-" Her voice trailed off. She didn't have the words for this. Though she was a leader now, she had never been a diplomat. All she had ever done was say what was in her heart - in one way or another - and hope everything worked out. "Are we enemies now?" The foolish question came from her heart, rather than her mind.

A soft, breathless, mirthless laugh left her. The exhaust of nerves and sadness. "I hope not. I don't want us to be enemies, for our clans to be enemies. It feels like we both have too many of those already." The thought of Shadowclan and Windclan conspiring on the other side of Fourtrees sent her ear flicking. "But, my warriors spilled blood on your side of the border and your daughter is dead. So, I don't think it's up to me." ​