private THOUGHTS WASHING OVER ME [ SUNSTAR ]

༄༄ The last time they had a serious conversation, she had accused the tom of sending her mate to her death. She still blames him for it, but the blame is shared now with Bluepool herself, along with Dimmingsun and the RiverClan scum who had murdered her. However, she can admit that she had said terrible things to the leader—yet he still sacrificed himself to save her from what would have been certain death beneath Granitepelt’s claws. She has done her best to support him, pulling more than her weight and not arguing fiercely against his decision to go to the gathering, but there is only so much that can be brushed off. The barn cats had proven their value when they had fought back against Sootstar months ago. But Periwinklebreeze’s new kits are a crack in the wall, and Cottonsprig’s new charge is the final straw. "Sunstar. Would you care to take this patrol with me?" She waits for his response before beginning the trek to the heather tunnel that leads outside of camp.

How harebrained can he be, allowing Cottonsprig to bring an already-ill kit into their camp? Allowing more kits into the clan when the warriors can hardly feed themselves is risky—while Scorchstreak can understand the softhearted nature of some warriors, the inability to turn any cat in need away, she has to put her paw down at some point. It had been nearly four seasons ago now that WindClanners had begun falling ill, and the deputy would do anything to prevent a repeat of that. She had gone on the perilous journey to the mountains to save her clan, and had lost so much in the process. If asked, she would gladly do it all again, but… would it not be simpler to avoid the risk? How can a clan with a razed territory continue to take in so many kits? Surely they cannot support all of the hungry mouths—and of course, the kits will not be the ones to suffer. They will only watch as cats around them crumble, falling to either illness or starvation. Whichever comes first.

She thinks it all, but she does not dare say it. She has always wondered if her paranoia looks the same as Sootstar’s—a halo of swords floating around her head, sharp tips pointed at everyone who draws too close. If she voices her concerns, will she be regarded as monstrous? A mad queen, bent on closing the outside world away and forcing WindClanners to live beneath an iron paw? Committing atrocities in the same of vengeance, in the name of safety? It is a question that has haunted her for months now, but it remains tucked away as she tips her head to look her leader in the eye. "We should talk."

  • ooc: @SUNSTAR
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    SCORCHSTREAK ❯❯ she/they, deputy (tunneler) of windclan
    small, slim flame-streaked calico with fiery golden eyes. cold and closed-off, ferociously protective of her clanmates. rarely seen aboveground.
    mate to bluepool ; sibling to rattleheart & rabbitclaw
    mentor to none ; previously mentored pinkshine
    peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    penned by foxlore