THOUSAND WINTERS \ iciclefang

[FERNGILL]

Ferngill had been pathetic in the past, but who could now blame him for it? A hollow eye gazed down at two mating stones, recalling the exstensive collection-cleanout he had embarked upon the day he and Sablemist had become mates, the way he had ensured these two stones took pride of place and shone so much brighter than the others. Adoringly, he used to tap that green-and-blue one, a precious gift from back when they were merely apprentices. It used to bring comfort; now, Ferngill was afraid to touch it, knowing the crashing despair that would surely strike him if he did.

Soft steps made their way toward him- a pupil flicked upward to meet the face of his sister, and he could not muster a smile to meet him, flame deeply dulled. Wordlessly, he flicked his tail to greet her, to invite her to sit beside him. Silence stretched between them for a few long moments- Ferngill could hear only the thumping slowness of his heart, felt beneath his skin the sagging of his bones, the heaviness of every mournful emotion within him. "I don't know what to do," he admitted at last, staring dead-on at the mating stones, throat dry. They had looked, and looked, and looked. She wouldn't have left him wilfully, he knew it.

"We- we were gonna have kits, after leafbare. We'd decided it." His lips trembled a little. He couldn't look at Iciclefang, lest she see a bitter sprig of envy in his eye.

\ @iciclefang :(​

✦ penned by pin ✦​

 

[iciclefang]

She can't get the image out of her head, of those brilliant blue petals curled atop the water's surface, rocking gently with the waves. She thinks of Sablemist as she'd been, gentle-faced despite the tragedies she'd endured, well-refined after training with Cindershade for so many moons, of the sapphire blossoms in her pelt, the smile she'd worn when speaking to Iciclefang in the nursery. "He is a great cat," she'd said, her bright gaze falling becomingly to her paws. And it had been then that Iciclefang had known they'd been right for one another, that they deserved to live happily together until they grew old in their nest.

Iciclefang feels his melancholy; it's deeper than the river itself. He sits alone, single green eye raking over his stones, both a gift from Sablemist. "I don't know what to do," he says; his throat sounds raw, as though torn by claws. She does not move to comfort him this time — her presence is all she can offer. "She may turn up. Her mother did. So did Ashpaw." She hates to suggest Twoleg involvement, knowing what that could mean for a cat, but it's better than pronouncing her dead, right?

She stiffens at his next words. "We- we were gonna have kits, after leafbare. We'd decided it." Now his mouth trembles as he struggles to hold himself together. Iciclefang gazes at him, wordless for several heartbeats. "I'm sorry. I didn't... know that." Her littermate had always wanted a family, and he'd been so close to achieving that...

They had lost so much. Steepsnout, dead before they could bring her the sacred lungwort. Darkwhisker, dead before either could find him. Mudpelt, crushed in the rockslide that would have stolen her children's lives. Lilybloom, exhausted from childbirth. And now he's lost the one cat he'd had left to cherish, the one who could have given him the family he'd always wanted.

"I'm sorry." The words feel useless. They are. "You would have made wonderful parents." Too-loving, too-laidback, too-sappy — everything she'd never been for her children as their single mother. But Ferngill would have relished those moments she had taken for granted, the ones that had left her exasperated, the ones that still do. "We are still here for you. The rest of us." She swallows, feeling out of her element.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 29 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring Pinepaw ; previously mentored Cicadaflight
  — riverclan lead warrior. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — former mate to Stormywing ; current mate to no one.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.
  
  

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