thrill slow shot reaction .. needledrift

[S A B L E T U F T]

can we leave it behind? — The return to camp had been met with unrelenting work. Not yet ready to relax until their home was restored, Sabletuft had found himself joining any task he had time for. At first he had assumed it coincidence when Needledrift appeared to divert any time they came close to crossing paths. Now, though, he was certain it was intentional as he watched her turn tail the moment she saw him in passing.

From there he waited, keeping track of the tasks Smogmaw assigned to her. He volunteered to join the border patrol she was placed on, and quietly followed the group. They fanned out to scout any trespassers, and Sabletuft intercepted Needledrift once their Clanmates were far enough not to hear.

"You're acting differently." His accusation was said more like a statement- a fact. "I think I deserve to at least know why." His posture was not aggressive, but his voice was stone. — tags

@Needledrift ​

 

[Needledrift]

Caught! Needledrift felt the tips of her ears grow hot with embarrassment. Yes, she had indeed been avoiding ShadowClan's newest lead warrior, having taken one or two pointed looks to heart in the past few weeks. It had been several moon phases since that itchy little worm had burrowed into her head, whispering against her pinnae, convincing her that Sabletuft hated her for killing their leader! It was... silly, really. She knew it was silly. The itchy little worm had been nothing but a byproduct of her storm-cloud mood that had; a useless, imaginary put-down that had sprung up to hinder her self-worth.

Still, the shame of knowing that she was still so easily controlled by her mental storms and mental worms made her skittish - Chilledstar, Sabletuft, Roosterstrut, she didn't know how to approach any of them in the aftermath of her residual guilt and shame. What would she even say? To Sabletuft, she only stare, green eyes wide for the span of two heart-beats before she brrrrrrmps apologetically and shifts her gaze away from his face. A paw is placed gently against her jaw, bracing it to say: "I'm sorry. ....caught a glance and a word after Chilledstar lost a life and I thought..." she swallows lightly, nervousness tracing up and down her spine, making her pin her ears back, "I figured you were cross with me for it."​

i will never leave your room, tell me everything that bothers you​

 

[S A B L E T U F T]

can we leave it behind? — Her shame is met with his stoic stare. Unwavering. An unspoken challenge for Needledrift to use her spine and answer. Defend yourself. He knew she could, he wasn't wholly unaware of the words she spat at Betonyfrost even if it was in Chilledstar's defense. There was a temper in there, though untapped.

"So it was nothing I said to you." He confirmed. 'Caught a word' was too vague for him to feel directly involved, but from what he was gathering otherwise, Needledrift had taken his initial frustrations as something permanent. He inwardly sighed, nothing but a hard exhale from his nose expressed his feeling on the matter. Typically Sabletuft wouldn't have cared so much on whatever feelings Needlefrist, or anyone had towards him. He knew he did his job well and sufficiently, and even with Chilledstar's approval he had even more weight to back that up.

Now he faced his peers as a Lead Warrior. A symbol of ShadowClan's representation meant he had more than just the weight of his responsibilities, but it now mattered how his Clanmates perceived him. How confident they were in him, not getting the job done, but being an authority figure they could trust and respect. Needledrift had lost that confidence in him already, he assumed.

"Leaders will lose their lives. It's inevitable. They will be lost even when it feels unfair, or undeserved." He thought of Briarstar, having them ripped from her all at once. To Pitchstar, who he felt was wasteful of them. "Even though we have them for eight more than usual, the grief, the shock, is still natural." It had been their first. Only the first, but the descent had officially begun. The countdown struck.

There was a long pause. Thinking before he spoke. "I don't take grief lightly, Needledrift. I'm sorry I didn't separate you from it." — tags​

 

[Needledrift]

She nods. "Chilledstar has been my friend since kit-hood. When we were little, I always thought they were invincible. They were so untouchable, even when I couldn't imagine how. Now... It's hard to form an opinion on one's mortality when it is so malleable. StarClan could take one life or many in the blink of an eye, for any reason, for whatever reason they saw fit. It was their will that the clans bent to now and while Needledrift was so very grateful for her own life in the face of their vast wisdom, she also feared how little time she had with cats like Chilledstar when their lives were so dictated by the ancestors that blessed them.

Sabletuft is calm, thoughtful, more thoughtful than she had been in the aftermath of all of this. She rubs her jaw tentatively, attempting to massage away the spikes of pain that have begun to spring up again, a constant reminder of her injury. An annoying, insistent message of personal trauma that she carried on her face - all of her emotions are always so readable on her face. Vaguely, she wonders if Sabletuft is of the other breed of cat, the type that held all of their fears and worries on the inside, stuffed away where nobody could see them unless their affected wished to share. If was a trait that Needledrift sometimes envied; it got so very tiresome being able to be read from a mile away.

Her green-eyed gaze returns to Sabletuft's face, a gentle smile gracing one side of her lopsided maw. "But Chilledstar has good counsel. I know you'll help them lead ShadowClan into bright suns. I know you'll take care of them and the clan after them." It is a crushing thought, knowing that her friend will die - has to die - for the good of her clan. It is why leaders are given nine lives, she reasons. It is not to live eight generations over the rest of them, but to protect the one or two they can with all of StarClan's gifted strength. Oddly, the excuse of faith calms her. "Even if I'm going to cry like it's their last life every time... you'll make sure the rest of the clan is o-"

The pain comes back, more insistent, more aggressive. Needledrift's nose scrunches up in annoyance and she shoves her paw deeper into her cheek as if the pressure will force the ache to subside. It does not and she offers an aggravated little growl in response. Damned jaw...​

i will never leave your room, tell everything that bothers you​