to the lake of stars ➺ failed hunt

[Magpiepaw]

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[Ooc] Minor mentions of some ableism & self-loathing.

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It had never bothered him before, his strange inability to walk straight, because he had assured himself the flesh of the living was not worth dwelling over. When a cat died they got wings, it was enough or him. Or it used to be enough for him until he was given expectations. Kittens didn't have those, he had been left to do whatever he liked within the confines of the camp for leafbare, fed and content and without a worry to be had. Now he was learning things, things he struggled with because he could not maintain his balance, he could not focus. There was a very real understanding now that he was not up to the standards of other apprentice's his age and he might never be. How could he force his limbs to obey? His mind to reign in? Was there no cure for what ailed him? No leaf he might chew to rid him of his swaying strides? Magpiepaw felt, for the first time since opening his eyes in a pile of filth, that perhaps he should have been left there. It was a sudden, intrusive thought, and it filled him with quiet horror that he'd even had it.
Magpiepaw was assured of himself, not so much confident as he was simply happy being. He had never felt lowly, unwanted, he had never had the thought he was somehow less of a cat than others, but it had been the simple act of pouncing that left him where he was now. Laying on the ground, the side of his face plastered into the soft and loamy earth and the tracks of a mouse past an outstretched paw where it had easily escaped him when he'd floundered. He had done as he'd been taught, crouched downwind, inched forward and sprang and yet...
He had not landed where he intended, he had careened sharply to the side. Everything done right and still a failed attempt. Because of how he was, because of things beyond his control.
The black and white apprentice found he had no desire to get back up and so he remained there, staring past the uneven earth to some spot in the distance, blue-violet eyes without their usual wide and wondered stare.

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[Ternfrost.]

EYES COVERED IN INK AND BLEACH​

maggotpaw | 04 months | female | she/her | physically easy | mentally hard | attack in bold mediumpurple

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Maggotpaws problems have always been limited to matters of the heart. Cast aside by one family only to be forgotten within another. She's been blessed with looks, intelligence, and strength. It is only her personality that seems lacking - something she's in no hurry to change. Magpiepaw it seems is not so lucky. The strange little boy had caught her attention from the start - so wholly himself, unique without a care. To see him sprawled out in the dirt, unmoving... it's disturbing in a manner she had not expected.

It is not as though her own hunt has gone any better yet - they're still children, still learning. Her mentor seems to care as little for her as she does them, and so she doesn't even bother to pretend to focus on her own task, instead weaving her way over to magpie to stare down upon him the way he has always done to others. "...you shouldn't just lie there. Someone might trip over you," she does not offer any comforting words, no consolation; only pointed facts. But she'd bothered to come over at all, and that's enough effort on her part she thinks.

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[ROOSTERSTRUT]

❪ TAGS ❫ — The sight of an apprentice laying on their side was definitely a cause for alarm for Roosterstrut, who dropped what he was doing to hurry over. Wide green eyes observe Maggotpaw addressing the downed Magpiepaw, however, and upon further observation they appear to be breathing still. Phew.

Still, it was not exactly common for a cat to lay on the ground during a hunting session. "... You okay, Magpiepaw? Not hurt or anything, are ya'?" There is a certain paternal tone that Roosterstrut tends to take on when it comes to the youths of the clan, one born of genuine concern for their well-being. Kids were so vulnerable, both physically and mentally, which he definitely could attest to from personal experience. His upbringing had started out pretty rough, but StarClan knew how much it meant to have positive adult figures in his life to lean on and learn from.​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

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training forestshade had proved to be a difficult task in of itself. she was blind, and making sure she knew how to properly hunt, and fight, was not easy, but they both managed. chilledstar had not changed all too much how they taught forestshade, except maybe a few small things, because they knew that forestshade had not been fragile despite their disability. thus wasn't always the case, and some cats needed the extra attention, but chilledstar didn't believe in babying anyone. it wouldn't do them any good... and their enemies would not care either way. walking over, they tilted their head at the sight of magpiepaw sprawled out on the ground, clearly having lost motivation to get up after missing. hm.

"alright, kit, up you go."

the leader ducked down to gently attempt to nudge the apprentice onto his wobbly paws. had they'd properly done so, they'd step back, twitching their ears.

"don't feel so defeated. so what if you missed this time. do you remember what happened, and why you missed?"

the leader asked. they'd watched. it was like an unknown force pushed him to a different side before he could catch himself. he would have to account for that in the next hunt.

"next time, anticipate your body to do that. hunt off to the side so that you may land where your prey is. it's not gonna always happen, I'm sure, but you will get the hang of it, kit."
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[Magpiepaw]

He rises at Maggotpaw's insistence he was an obstacle, not wishing to send another careening down into the soil to join him. The white-headed apprentice was at least forward with him, the fact she spared even a second to say anything spoke more words than a single cat could ever utter on their own and he shakes his pelt free of dirt and debris in time to spot Roosterstrut's approach. The bright colored tom is concerned, his emotions are far more blatant than anything Maggotpaw would spare him and he nods to the questions with assurance.
"I'm okay. Only dirty." And no queen to bath him anymore so he would need to groom himself at a later time, right now there was no point if he was to keep trekking through the marsh. A vision of snow-touched shadows has his head turn to their new leader's approach.

Chilledstar's words are as cold and dettached as the stars themselves and he frowns distinctly, his neutral expression twisting into a more negative one.
Anticpate your body to do that. He is instructed, but his eyes narrow briefly in response because he could not do that. Magpiepaw was left to the whims of jerking limbs and twitching spasms, his head bobbed and threw him off, his tail twisted and offset his balance. There was no reliable way he could adjust around it, it simply happened when it happened and his only hope was it didn't. Left to the tides of fate alone.
"I missed because I am incorrect. Born wrong. Unlucky." He was seeing now why he had been discarded on a trash pile and it settled in the pit of his stomach heavy like a rock.
"...and I am not a kit." Pitchstar had made him an apprentice, Pitchstar had changed his name to Magpiepaw and his already poor mood was sullied further by these attempts to take his new name from him. "I am Magpiepaw."

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