private TREPIDATION ‧₊˚✩彡 SILVERSMOKE

[CROWSIGHT]

Life had gotten busy and he felt guilt ridden that he didn't spend time with his father. He knew of his father's relationship with Johnnyflame, but was never against it. When he had heard of it from his mates, he recalled the smile on Silversmoke's maw all those moons ago when he had sparred with Johnnyflame. All he hoped for was that his father was happy and from what it seemed, Johnnyflame was more than alright. Eventually he would like to speak to Johnnyflame, but that was for another time. For now he has a mission and that was finding the Silver warrior who luckily was in a secluded corner of camp.

Black paws trudge over to the older warrior. Normally, he would ask his father for a spar, but he wished to converse with him with words more than claws. When mismatched eyes watch him in interest, hazel eyes shift to black paws. "I'm sure you know that I'm going to be a father." While Silversmoke was not there when Fireflyglow confirmed that his mate was carrying, he'd seen the gruff warrior talk to his mate after. Love was not a topic either really discussed. It was just something they never talked about. Although to be fair, Crowsight was far more concerned about training in the past and improving his skills, than running off with flowers in his maw to present to his loves.

"I... To me... Silversmoke, you're my father. I know we aren't related by blood and this first started because I wanted you to improve my skills, but you've done more than you should. Always been there for me and gave me a good cuff when I was being a pain. I'm bringing this up because I want to know if you think of me as your son, your own blood." Logically it is impossible for him to be Silversmoke's son, unless his mother lied about who his father was. Though, that was impossible. After all, his littermates mostly took after their lousy excuse of a father than their mother. If Silversmoke was their real father, he's certain he would be silver as well. In any case, the former lead warrior is not getting a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I wanted my kits to know of their Grandpa Silversmoke who is one of the fiercest warriors in all of Skyclan, along with his mate Johnnyflame. That is if, you want to be. I won't force you, but I would like it if you were there when the kits are born." Undeniably, it would hurt if Silversmoke refused to be present when the kits were born. I already thought of some names in honor of you. Frostkit, Thistlekit, Gorsekit, Adderkit, Thornkit, and Hailkit. What would I say if they asked where their names came from, if you reject me? Truthfully, he wouldn't know what to do if Silversmoke hissed at him and sunk his claws in his heart by saying that everything between them was an act.

// @SILVERSMOKE THIS IS SUPER LATE BUT HERE'S A CROWPIE!!!​

 

[SILVERSMOKE]

A lifetime had passed since he had last talked to Crowsight. Adulthood had drained both of their time, with Crowsight finding partners and Silversmoke finding one of his own. It wasn't exactly how the spotted tabby imagined it to be - who could've predicted his ex-apprentice would become a father so soon? Who could've predicted Silversmoke would fell in love with a Daylight Warrior? Regardless, the outcome was similar to what he had predicted. Crowsight would have no need of him anymore, and though regret would pang in his heart that he could not have spent more time with the smoke, he could at least smile from afar knowing that he had done the right thing.

Hollow bones lay nestled beneath Silversmoke's paws, a pink tongue swiping over his maw as that familiar voice rang in his ears. His gaze shot upwards to a space between Crowsight's eyes and, with a nod of the spotted tabby's head, his former apprentice began his conversation. I'm sure you know that I'm going to be a father, the statement caused him to blink remorsefully towards Crowsight - he had not emboldened the other to be a bigot as he had done with Chrysaliswing, but he had certainly not done the other any favours with his social prowess. 'That is not the best way to start a conversation,' he thought, yet, the idea was strangely.... amusing. With the gravity of the situation weighing down his expression, he didn't need to worry about cracking a smile. Instead, Silversmoke listened.

It was difficult to imagine Crowsight as a father, only because he had been his apprentice for so long. He could stare and, within that haze, see the same little boy running up to him demanding all sorts of things. Then he'd blink again and see a tom in front of him, a bold and proud warrior - there were times where he refused to see them as the same cat. But they were. The words that came out of Crowsight's mouth were the same as they'd always been, only matured and more heartfelt than what an angsty teenager could come up with.

To me Silversmoke, you're my father.

He didn't need to say it anymore, he didn't need Silversmoke anymore. Within the slither of time he had before Crowsight spoke again, he tried to utter his own words, but hot ash clogged his throat, letting no sound emerge.

I want my kits to know their grandpa.

I would like it if you were there when your kits were born.

The battle-hardened tom thought that claws in the belly hurt less than the realisation that he still mattered to Crowsight. It was a fantastic pain, one he would learn to welcome, but the shock of it all was an agony he hadn't noticed was possible. The black smoke awaited an answer and though he feared choking, Silversmoke was honourbound not to keep him waiting. "When you asked to act like my son, I'd only considered the benefits it'd offer to your training. I didn't think about why you were saying such things, not properly, at least. I could've been better," he apologised, bowing his head low. When he tilted his muzzle upwards again, a smile had appeared.

"But you are a tom any father would be proud of. To know that you still think of me as that father, even after all this time is..." He paused, his voice threatening to tremor. It took a strength greater than the one he had to not let his emotions pour out. "Words cannot express how much it means to me."

Crowsight's visage grew blurry the more Silversmoke stared, an uncharacteristic dampness dotting the corners of his heterochromatic eyes. Tears. He had taught Crowsight many things, but there was one last lesson to give him, one that Silversmoke himself had only learned a moon ago - it was ok to be vulnerable.

But perhaps Crowsight knew that already. Perhaps the lesson was for himself, a reminder that even someone who looked up to him did not have to see him as a perfect creature. He hardly was, anyhow.

"You are my son. If it is ok with your partners... I would like to be there to see your kittens. My grandkittens.

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