try again tomorrow // coming out

[sunlitpaw]

₊ ⋆ * ⊹ ₊ ☾ —— 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣

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  #9b7143
  
  

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• Sunlitpaw

  
  Is questioning their identity​
  
  
  

  kit
  skittish
  inquisitive
  experience: untrained
  backstory: royalty
  biography: [HYPERLINK]
  credit to punk for the clangen code :3
  

  nonbinary [they / she]
  eyes: green
  pelt: chocolate torbie
  fur length: long
  parents: wolfsong and sunstride
  3 moons
  
  
  

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  ​

A newly made apprentice, Sunlitpaw had already been dropped into a mess of change that they found nothing shy of overwhelming. But being back in camp, surrounded by familiar faces once more, was a gentle balm on their nerves. Moving into a new den was equal parts terrifying and heartbreaking, moving away from everything they had known. But change was... the foundation of life, or something like that. Maybe this had become more of an excuse to see all of her family in one place again, now that they had flown the nest and started to all walk their own paths. The sun was beginning to set and Sunlitpaw was mulling around camp, nervously waiting for all of her siblings to return from their respective trainings. Singedpaw was the only tunneller in their family, and the only one Sunlitpaw wasn't sure if she'd be able to get to tell. But... surely they would understand the best. After all, they were confident in who they were. Sunlitpaw's conversation with Featherpaw plays again in her head as she sits just inside Wolfsong's den, spring green eyes slowly wandering the familiar walls. There was nothing to be afraid of. They had been reassured of such. The prospect of being wrong, of not knowing themselves as well as they thought they did, continued to petrify them.

A nervous smile takes to their muzzle as the first of their family approaches, followed swiftly by the second, then third. Should they wait for everyone first? Sunlitpaw didn't want to worry them... they had asked each of their siblings in turn that they had something they wanted to talk about with them, with all of their family. Maybe they should've specified? Out of everything that had happened in WindClan, to their family, admitting they weren't a girl should be the easiest hurdle Sunlitpaw has been in front of. But it was so terribly daunting on the precipice.

"Hi," they greet quietly. Softspoken by nature around those unfamiliar to them, it was extremely atypical for them to be so reserved around their own family. Their paws shuffle, anxiously looking to Featherpaw for support. What were they supposed to say? "I have something I want to... um, tell you guys." They floundered over their words, incapable of spitting it out. "It's - I - I'm not a girl." They look for Singedkit, the sibling who might've felt the same. "But I'm not a boy either. I'm just... me. And I don't want to be called a girl anymore. I don't want to be a sister, or a daughter - I... I wanna be a sibling, and a kid. I want to be Sunlitpaw. It's okay if you accidentally call me a she or a sister, I just don't want to be only that anymore. I don't want to be mostly that, either." Now that they found their voice, Sunlitpaw found it much easier to confront their family. They give Featherpaw a small smile.

"And... I love you guys. I'm sorry if this is... um... a lot."
​

 

[FEATHERSPINE]

Nights had passed since her conversation with Sunlitpaw; they'd moved territories, had been given new names and new purposes, a life that Featherpaw had been preparing for her for as long as she could remember. Still, thoughts of his family sometimes overwrote the focus he kept on his training, a fact he would never betray to Bluepool. In moments of stillness, Featherpaw's thoughts would stray to that night-cloaked conversation in kithood, and he wonder if he had helped Sunlitpaw at all.

When the admittance finally flooded from Sunlitpaw's mouth, atypically quiet before their kin, a flicker of knowledge glimmered in Featherpaw's mouth. Stern as ever, bearing her scowl severely, there was the smallest twinge of a smile upon Featherpaw's face. It was a quirk of the lips perhaps only those closest to her, present, would be able to parse. "You've got nothing to be sorry about," she confirmed, chest puffing out protectively. A plumy tail swished, and curled protectively around her snowy paws. This was a lucky, loving family- sharp eyes looked expectantly to her kin, knowing deep down there would be no reason for any of them to speak out of line. They would all love Sunlitpaw no matter what; it was one of the few, positive things in the world Featherpaw could be completely sure of. ​

✦ penned by pin​