They tried to be brighter, they tried to be cheerier, but yet this sense of moodiness still settled in their chest. They couldnt explain it. It was a hallow feeling like something was missing when nothing in fact was gone. Their sister had returned, the clan was well aside from prey stealers, and thing seemed relatively okay for the moment. There was no chaos yet they felt so much of it boiling and bridling inside of them. Like it was being held against a dam but it was barely holding onto the cracks.
Maybe it was loneliness? They didnt have many friends to begin with and it was like those who they did consider a friend were avoiding them or something. Maybe it was their own self-isolation really but that made things too hyper-real so they shook the thought from their mind. There was no need to dwell on that but yet they couldnt help but linger on it.
Magpiepaw wanted to get out, to do something with their paws to keep busy that wasnt in camp. They had left the confines of the den and was sitting on the beach side of the river. Looking out at the lush greenery, the bubble blue waters not too far from their white front paws. It was quiet out here compared to the bustle and hustle of camp, and they took solace in it for a brief moment. Though it didnt set their empty feeling and only made it seem to grow. They didnt bother asking anyone to come out with them and it made them dig their claws into the sand below.
Rage boiled and simmered at the tips of their paws and they swallowed it down harshly. That was unexpected and uncalled for but yet their body seemed to feel it so intensely, so harshly, like it was the only thing that mattered. How dare the other apprentices not want to be their friend. Who were they anyway? To good for them it seemed!
A heavy breath left their maw and they dug a chunk of sand out of the ground with their claws. It then tossed the whole piece to the side angrily and then flopped down onto their belly with a dramatic motion. They felt like they could feel everything at one time and it was all consuming but yet this emptiness swallowed everything whole. Like both occurred at the same time and it was frustrating.
The black and white cat then forced themselves onto their paws and headed for the water, standing in the swallows to let the coldness drench their legs and tail. The coolness was nice compared to how warm and heated they felt. Magpiepaw lashed their tail idly and looked out towards Thunderclan though made no move towards it. They merely observed the forest beyond the shore on the other side and sat down in the water.
Though then they bristled as they heard paw steps, whipping their head around with black fur fluffing up like they’d be caught red handed doing something nefarious.
【◈】Friends were easy come and easy go for Turtlepaw. She treated everyone like a friend, and felt like it stuck only rarely with other cats. Moonbeam was a good friend and so was Dizzypaw, but they were always so busy. Granted, she was as well, but what about at sundown? When everyone shared tongues and prey, Turtlepaw often found herself alone, or having to interrupt someone else's conversation just to talk to someone. She would have eaten with Snakeblink but he was also just so busy. Everyone was busy.
On top of all of that, Turtlepaw still couldn't sleep. The nightmares had lessened in intensity, but the fear still remained. When her eyes closed for the night, she could only rest for a few minutes before her eyes would fly open in a panic and she's have to remind herself she was safe, in her den, and no twolegs were around. The lack of sleep made her feel uncharacteristically grouchy. The constant noise of camp started to grade on her and Turtlepaw had to leave camp just to catch her breath.
A quick swim always seemed to help her nerves. As she neared the river, she spotted a familiar black pelt just sitting in the river, back turned to her. Turtlepaw moved loser and opened her mouth to make herself known, but Magpiepaw was more perceptive than she thought. "Oh!" was the first thing that left her mouth. She was just as surprised as the other apprentice, and gave her chest a few licks in embarrassment. "Sorry, I didn't - uh - mean to intrude. I can go? If you'd like?" Where was this sudden shyness coming from? Maybe the sleep deprivation was taking a worse toll on her than she thought. She'd have to see if Moonbeam had anything for her.
Were they preceptive? No not really, but overly paranoid? Yes most definitely. They had to take a few breaths to force their fur to lie flat as it was merely Turtlepaw at the bank and no one out to hurt them. The gave a small glare at the stripe cat with a small ear flick before shaking their head slightly, "No, its okay, im sorry" They twitched the tip of their tail before going and laying in the water instead of sitting there. Magpiepaw was not usually one to apologize, to show sympathy but they didnt own the river obviously. So it wasnt like it could tell her to leave anyway even if they had wanted too.
Friends were not something they did easily, they were very distrusting since Troutsnouts kidnapping and even before then they had been reserved and quiet. Suppose this had been a thing since their parents had passed but it was untelling really. Magpiepaw swallowed thickly and adjusted themselves in the water slightly, "Have you been having more nightmares?" Their tone was blunt but they recalled vividly of being kicked and having to nearly shake Turtlepaw awake after one. Did they presist? What did they have nightmares about?
These questions lingered but they kept them back by lapping at their now wet chest for a moment, "Not that its my buisness of course, or anything"
【◈】Turtlepaw flinched at the mention of her nightmares. The shame of awaking her entire den with one outburst was awful enough, but having it brought up only opened the wound fresh. Her focus shifted to something to the side of them - a stick, a rock, a tree - it didn't matter. As long as she wasn't looking at what she assumed was Magpiepaw's disdain or anger in her actions, she'd be fine.
Her eyes flicked back to watch the dark pelt fix their posture in the current's flow. That looked nice, and just imagining it Turtlepaw could feel the cool ripples on her pelt. She sighed and twitched her ear in dismissal at Magpiepaw's placation. "No, it's ok. It became your business when I rabbit-kicked you in my sleep." A small smile broke through her facade to assure them she was trying to see that event in a better light. She moved into the river downstream of them and made an appreciative sound at the feeling of water between her toes.
"They're still there. They still keep me up, and I don't think they're going away anytime." She hoped they would. She hoped her nightmares would be dragged away like a branch when the river floods. Turtlepaw looked at her dark paws underneath the water, and watched as silt fell past, further downstream. Without looking up at her denmate, she asked, "Do you have nightmares ever?"
〔✦〕This semblances of a snort came from the black and white cat at their denmates comment about rabbit-kicking them. Suppose it was pretty good kick and they couldnt help the next words that fell from their lips, “A rabbit has nothing on your kick” They then flicked back their ears at their careless words and blue eyes found their way downwards. Starclans sake- they felt like an idiot. Why couldnt they just communicate and befriend cats like normal? Their sister always had been able too so why couldn’t they? What made them so different? Yet bridle anger burned in their chest and they listened as they could hear splashing of water.
Turtlepaw had moved downstream from them and was now in the water as well. Their shoulder fur bristled slightly but that was more out of their own anxiety than anything else, or the burning fury that burrowed deep into their chest. Teenage angst maybe? Magpiepaw wished they knew so they could fix it and be better, but alas they didnt know.
The other striped cat then said the nightmares were still there, that they still keep her up and she didnt think they would go away. Magpiepaw understood that for the most part, they still had terrors of their siblings being captured or being attacked. Irrational dreams also plagued them but those were more psychological issues manifesting. Or well that’s what it usually chalked it up to being; merely something out of their control.
Their blue gaze found its way to Turtlepaw as she was staring down at the water, and they too look down in case there was something interesting there. There wasnt but just the water sliding through their fur on their legs and down the bank like nothing ever mattered. The river was always changing and such was life. Though they hadn’t expected to be questioned back.
Magpiepaw snapped their maw shut as harsh words threatened, no don’t scare her off. Dont be a dick. This was the first cat to approach and talk to them, a chance at a friend, and they didn’t want to mess it up by their irate and irrational behavior. At least one friend right?
“Sometimes” It admitted, tone quiet and it’d be lost among the water flowing downward if they hadn’t lifted their head, “Since the capturing and everything- sleep hasn’t been easy” They often overly thought of loosing Frecklepaw or Gladefrost and it has become a paranoid thought really. Still, they were trying to be open and let someone in but it felt wrong. Guilt gripped at their throat as they shouldn’t be bothering Turtlepaw with their problems. She surely had better things to listen to or cats to talk to than themselves. The black and white cat twitched a wet tail behind them before laying back down in the water, pawing at the sand underneath with energy needing to be burned off. Otherwise it felt like it might explode on the spot. This was hard, making friends was hard.
“What do you dream about?” They ask suddenly and lifted their head once more for striking blues to stare at the other dark furred cat, “Not nightmare wise- but in general- do you have good dreams?”
Magpiepaw —— Apprentice of Riverclan , mentored by Hawkcloud . NPC x NPC . littermate to Gladefrost and Frecklepaw ✦ penned by wolfie ✦ AFAB Agender Masculine / they/it/ze / 10 months & ages every 23ʳᵈ ✦ single / Demisexual Homoromantic(femme leaning) & polyamorous / open to romance ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking —— combat details here / battle notes
✦“speech”, 'thoughts', all opinions are in character ✦biography — msg on discord for plots — toyhouse
a longhaired black and white cat with blue eyes. write a short description detailing appearance including necessary information.
【◈】A louder, more easily offered laugh escaped Turtlepaw after Magpiepaw's appraisal of her subconscious kick. A knot in her chest loosened and her laughter grew louder and more rowdy. She didn't expect them to crack a joke about that awkward night. She didn't expect it to make any jokes, truly. Turtlepaw flicked her gaze from her paws in the river to the dark figure upstream from her. How had she never spoken to them like this before? They were denmates. They were going through the same stuff. They should be friends.
She muffles her laughter at Magpiepaw's response and clears her throat. Turtlepaw had known others were affected by the twoleg's incursion, but somehow always forgot how much the clan was shaking. Her own troubles had clouded her vision of her clan's health. Warriors were supposed to care for their clan and push aside their own struggles for the betterment of the clan. Instinct clawed its way to the forefront of her mind and her paws itched to move to Magpiepaw's side and comfort it.
She held herself back. They weren't that close, yet. Maybe someday she could be by their side and offer support, but the hazy tension that clouded the space between them held her back. For now.
"Good dreams, huh?" She hummed in thought at the most recent non-nightmare she's had. Her green eyes met their blue ones and a small smile to ease that weird tension spread across her face. "I'm swimming underwater, and the biggest carp you could imagine swims by. It's massive, too big to catch, and it looks at me. I'm not scared or anything. We swim together until Snakeblink wakes me up for patrol." Her shoulders relaxed at the memory and she eases herself to lay in the cool current.
She turned her gaze away and stared at the waving willow tree fronds in the distance. Ease and comfort soaked into her muscles. Was this all it took? A quick conversation? How odd. "How about you, Magpiepaw? What's your good dream?"
It strikes their chest like a hot spike, and whiskers twitch.
It’s loud and gets more rowdy as she goes.
Their pelt flames- what’s so funny? Magpiepaw didn’t fully understand what made Turtlepaw let loose such a sound, but their warm pelt and this little swirl in their chest encouraged that it was fine. She was laughing with them not at them even if their irrational thoughts screams otherwise, begged for them to lash out and demand what was so funny. No- they liked the sound of her laughing.
The black and white cat gave this small, awkward smile when she muffled her laugh and they wondered briefly if maybe they should speak freely more often. Usually they thought themselves into a hole and ended up mute or unable to say anything cause they over thought everything they wanted to say. So they gave up and just never say truly what they wanted. Speaking to Turtlepaw was- rather easy it seemed. Then again, she was a friendly cat regardless. She could probably befriend a dog if given enough time and patience for it.
The dark furred apprentice across from them then speaks on her good dreams. Magpiepaw flicks its ears up slightly, swimming underwater? That sounded terrifying- could she breathe like that? Well obviously in a dream- regardless they listened as she described the large carp. Looked at her and they shiver as they picture those beady eyes staring at them. Though in her dream it sounded more peaceful than it was, and then they snort at the end of her dream explanation. “Waking up to Snakeblink sounds like the start of a nightmare,” They mutter slightly and flick their wet tail idly.
She breaks their linked gazes to stare up at something else, so they take this chance to look down into the clear river water below. They paw at the sand with white paws for a moment before pushing themselves up suddenly, like they had become determined. More like Magpiepaw didnt want to loose their nerve in their actions, and besides- it was getting cold where they sat anyway. The apprentice moved through the water to settle a little less than a tail length from Turtlepaw, finding a rock at the bottom of the bank to paw at as if they had spotted it before. A lie but the truth didnt need to be seen.
She turns the question onto them and they glance up from the rock they had been trying to pry from the sand. Their dreams? Did they have good dreams? Blue hues move from her face to her chest instead for a moment as they debated to what to tell her. Should they be honest? Wouldn’t hurt would it?
“I dream about my mom and dad a lot- about them seeing me graduate and grow up and cheer me on the sidelines” Magpiepaw admitted as she shared a peaceful dream with them, it was only fair to share something it considered peaceful. Their family was peace for the most part. “Or there is also this fishing dream I’ve had, i dont know where but its a large vast water scape and there’s fish bigger than a trout in it- i always catch the biggest prize of course” They gave a small shrug of their shoulders and went back to digging at the rock, as if needing to keep their paws a little busy. The water was growing cold or was it their own embarrassment heating their pelt? At least they were trying to be social, even if it was harder than they thought. Even if she was so easy to talk to, Magpiepaw thoughts were not easy to filter through.
They gave a small snort as they offered an attempt at something funny, “Do you ever think mer cats are real?”
Magpiepaw —— Apprentice of Riverclan , mentored by Hawkcloud . NPC x NPC . littermate to Gladefrost and Frecklepaw ✦ penned by wolfie ✦ AFAB Agender Masculine / they/it/ze / 10 months & ages every 23ʳᵈ ✦ single / Demisexual Homoromantic(femme leaning) & polyamorous / open to romance ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking —— combat details here / battle notes
✦“speech”, 'thoughts', all opinions are in character ✦biography — msg on discord for plots — toyhouse
a longhaired black and white cat with blue eyes. write a short description detailing appearance including necessary information.
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