camp UNHHAPPY REFRAIN - irritation

[GRACEPAW.]

So many things had already happened in Gracekit's short life that it had become overwhelming. With the sickness and Poppykit being hurt, she was already bound to understand the cruelty of the world at a young age. And now that she was three moons old, she was starting to truly understand the severity of this cruelness.

Maybe StarClan didn't like her, because she felt... off. Not unloved, she knew that she had a family that cared about her, and not sick either. But... she didn't feel right. She just couldn't figure out what it was or why it was happening. She didn't... feel like herself. Rather, she didn't like who she was.

"I don't get it." she growled to herself, pacing back and forth in front of the nursery. Her uneasy steps had become more coordinated, but she still was a but clumsy. That just irritated her more. Clumsy little Gracekit, nothing like the name she was given, who looked funny and felt unhappy with herself with no real reason why.

She wished she could go and find a place where no one could find her, just for a little while, so she could be loud and cry and let all her emotions out without having to be seen or heard. But there was nowhere in camp she could go to hide and, in the end, that just added onto the pile of things that made her angry.

"I wish I was someone else..." she murmured, settling down to hide her face in her paws. "Then I would like being me."

"Speech"​

---

I CRIED IN THE SHAPE OF MY DREAMS​

​

 

[Frostbite]

He's working on the Nursery again, fixing nests and reinforcing walls. He keeps a sharper eye on the outside now, prepared to spring at a moments notice if another owl swoops in to try and steal his kits again. The level of terror he felt would not soon be forgotten.

He finishes early, having gained much skill in his time in here. Nothing was getting in here. Satisfied with his work, he looks to Gracekit outside, pacing back and forth. He overhears her, frowning. He needs to say something, but what is the right thing to say? He has no experience with this.

But he can't sit idly while his daughter sits in self loathing. He steps outside and sits beside her, reaching down to give her a gentle lick on the head.

"Would you like to talk about it?" He asks gently. " Perhaps I can help. You are a lovely young lady, Gracekit."

He doesn't want her to grow up hating herself. He must make her see how wonderful she is. He only hopes he doesn't upset her further.​

 

[GRACEPAW.]

"Ah!" she let out a tiny squeak, startled by her father. While Gracekit appreciated the act of comfort, something still felt... off.

Lovely young lady... She scrunched up her nose, shaking her head as the words exited Frostbite's mouth. She'd never really questioned that part of herself - she was just a she-cat. But thinking more on it now, maybe that had been part of her problem the whole time. Something she'd overlooked, something that she had just accepted as being a fact she had no control over.

"I don't like that," she murmured. "I don't like being a lovely young lady."

But if not that, what did she WANT to be?

"Speech"​

---

I CRIED IN THE SHAPE OF MY DREAMS​

​

 

[lilacfur]

Familiar feelings stirred in Lilacfur at a similar age. She recalled how quickly her family had adapted and accepted the change without hesitation. How unafraid she was in telling her mother how much happier she would be if she could be her mother's princess instead of anything else. Such realizations were hardly met with hesitation, Lilacfur considered herself grateful for the fact. There were plenty of cats within the forest that were met with ignorance instead, or anger. Normally a branch of confusion that sapped into frustration, nonetheless an unfortunate circumstance.

Lilacfur had heard the exchange between Gracekit and Frostbite briefly, the tip of her tail twitching curiously. She glanced as the pale furred queen for a moment before inching closer, curling her tail over her paws once she sat.

"You don't have to be a lovely young lady if you don't want to." Her words were placed carefully, not trying to push for an answer Gracekit may not even have. She is sure Frostbite himself may recognize the situation as well. "You could be a lovely young boy, or a lovely young cat, or whatever you wish."​

[ sad hello's and mad high low's ]​