- Dec 21, 2023
- 124
- 34
- 28
There was no betrayal quite like seeing her very own apprentice stand against her.
Scarletpaw always looked at Badgerstripe with such admiration. Every patrol, every outing, she had a little sparkle in her eyes - ever since the meeting in which she was apprenticed, she was always lively and excited. And Scarletpaw wasn't a bad apprentice, either; she was obedient, and considerate. Badgerstripe remembers the concern she showed over her first bit of sickness, unbeknownst to either of them at the time that it was a symptom of something much larger.
Had kits not proved themselves an obstacle, Badgerstripe would've been excited to see Scarletpaw's training through to the end. Now, ever since the battle, she couldn't even look at the apprentice.
Jealousy was a snake of the venomous sort, digging its fangs in deep and letting its poison coarse through her like fire. It begins in her mind with an inkling of betrayal, dismay; then twists her heart with pain and disgust. When Badgerstripe saw her apprentice positioned so boldly next to Skyclaw, her kin, she felt its' raging anger and insecurity. Was she not a sufficient teacher? Was she not a guide, a role model, to the girl? Was she not good enough to earn her apprentice's place at her side, at all costs?
She feels it now, too, when Scarletpaw approaches her for instructions. The glint of disappointment in her sideways glance towards the young tortoiseshell is unhidden. Ire grabs a hold of her like a predator in its' snapping jaws. Badgerstripe glances away for a moment, intending to casually dismiss her; but the sorrow that wells in her heart is too strong to ignore.
" You could've gotten yourself killed, " Badgerstripe states lowly, recalling the ruthlessness that had been inflicted upon Skyclaw's followers. " Or exiled. Do you understand? " Flamewhisker was kind enough to spare her a chance, as a young mind moldable still. Would the others see her that way? It twists Badgerstripe's heart with painful nostalgia as she recalls her own mistakes as an apprentice, into a young warrior. She cannot clear her mind enough to see the truth in Scarletpaw's actions; unyielding loyalty to one of the only kin she has, the grief in losing it. She only sees her own thoughtlessness in the selfish actions she had taken so many moons ago, and the repercussions that followed. Had she not worked hard enough to stray Scarletpaw away from that path?
Scarletpaw is too much like herself, after all.
Had she been too lenient? Too strict? A troubled sigh leaves Badgerstripe's maw, as she finally turns to look at the girl. Where had she gone so wrong, that would allow Scarletpaw land on the wrong side of history? Envy brandishes its' fearful head once more, curling her lip ever so slightly with a horrible taste. " You'd better listen to your next mentor well. Perhaps they will be wiser, or stricter, " she mumbles. It pains her to speak to coldly, but it is a necessary way of learning that Badgerstripe wished she received. Maybe her new mentor will be convincing enough to keep her out of trouble, to mold her into a loyal cat, like Badgerstripe had failed to do. " I'm moving into the nursery soon, Scarletpaw. Someone else will oversee your training from that point. " At least it would not be a follower of Skyclaw. Did Scarletpaw ever wish for that instead?
BADGERSTRIPE ( she/her )
Scarletpaw always looked at Badgerstripe with such admiration. Every patrol, every outing, she had a little sparkle in her eyes - ever since the meeting in which she was apprenticed, she was always lively and excited. And Scarletpaw wasn't a bad apprentice, either; she was obedient, and considerate. Badgerstripe remembers the concern she showed over her first bit of sickness, unbeknownst to either of them at the time that it was a symptom of something much larger.
Had kits not proved themselves an obstacle, Badgerstripe would've been excited to see Scarletpaw's training through to the end. Now, ever since the battle, she couldn't even look at the apprentice.
Jealousy was a snake of the venomous sort, digging its fangs in deep and letting its poison coarse through her like fire. It begins in her mind with an inkling of betrayal, dismay; then twists her heart with pain and disgust. When Badgerstripe saw her apprentice positioned so boldly next to Skyclaw, her kin, she felt its' raging anger and insecurity. Was she not a sufficient teacher? Was she not a guide, a role model, to the girl? Was she not good enough to earn her apprentice's place at her side, at all costs?
She feels it now, too, when Scarletpaw approaches her for instructions. The glint of disappointment in her sideways glance towards the young tortoiseshell is unhidden. Ire grabs a hold of her like a predator in its' snapping jaws. Badgerstripe glances away for a moment, intending to casually dismiss her; but the sorrow that wells in her heart is too strong to ignore.
" You could've gotten yourself killed, " Badgerstripe states lowly, recalling the ruthlessness that had been inflicted upon Skyclaw's followers. " Or exiled. Do you understand? " Flamewhisker was kind enough to spare her a chance, as a young mind moldable still. Would the others see her that way? It twists Badgerstripe's heart with painful nostalgia as she recalls her own mistakes as an apprentice, into a young warrior. She cannot clear her mind enough to see the truth in Scarletpaw's actions; unyielding loyalty to one of the only kin she has, the grief in losing it. She only sees her own thoughtlessness in the selfish actions she had taken so many moons ago, and the repercussions that followed. Had she not worked hard enough to stray Scarletpaw away from that path?
Scarletpaw is too much like herself, after all.
Had she been too lenient? Too strict? A troubled sigh leaves Badgerstripe's maw, as she finally turns to look at the girl. Where had she gone so wrong, that would allow Scarletpaw land on the wrong side of history? Envy brandishes its' fearful head once more, curling her lip ever so slightly with a horrible taste. " You'd better listen to your next mentor well. Perhaps they will be wiser, or stricter, " she mumbles. It pains her to speak to coldly, but it is a necessary way of learning that Badgerstripe wished she received. Maybe her new mentor will be convincing enough to keep her out of trouble, to mold her into a loyal cat, like Badgerstripe had failed to do. " I'm moving into the nursery soon, Scarletpaw. Someone else will oversee your training from that point. " At least it would not be a follower of Skyclaw. Did Scarletpaw ever wish for that instead?
( ooc ) @Scarletpaw
