UNTIL MY CONSCIENCE BLEEDS | howlingstar

[badgerstripe]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Badgerstripe's days are now spent shouldering the malice of her Clanmates. Of other Clans, too, now that they've been so graciously named as the inspiration of this new code. But with that, too, comes constant uncertainty. She heard words and whispers amongst gathering chatter - if it were their warriors that did this, they'd be sent to the apprentice den. Exiled. Torn apart. Yet Badgerstripe remained in her warrior nest, albeit ostracized - she left camp unsupervised, patrolled, even escorted Howlingstar to see that lone kittypet.

Why hadn't she been demoted or exiled? Why haven't her friends, who all continued their life the same as before (ignoring the constant pressure and bickering, of course)? Badgerstripe was just waiting that, any day now, Howlingstar would hobble up to her highrock and announce that they were being discarded as warriors, one way or another. Every morning when she woke, she expected to wake to her leader's call - it was beginning to become an equal disappointment to remain in the Clan than it would have been exiled. The suspense was killing her.

Ask her, she had told herself. Under Howlingstar's gaze since that night, she had shrunk away in fear - her demeaner was nervous, uncollected. Even now, as her paws carried her up to Howlingstar's den, her heart was racing and her ears burnt with anticipation. With a lashing tail and tense muscles, the warrior stopped just short of the den's entrance, clearing her throat to announce her arrival. "Howlingstar?" she mewed with a voice meek and small - a voice that was not hers before the invasion. Be brave. Ask her.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── EVERYONES WAITING FOR DEATH ⋅❁⋅ JUSTICE DELIVERS ITS GIFT ──┐‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• 
  Badgerstripe ✩ she/her, warrior of thunderclan, 12 moons.
  ⭃ a long-furred blue tortoiseshell with a notable black dorsal stripe and green eyes.
  ⭃ formerly mentored by burnstorm
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by ixora ↛ @.ixora on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar lifts her head from her paws as she hears her name murmured. Her gaze drifts to the mouth of her den, where she sees a sulking form step inside. She narrows her eyes to see better, and realizes it's Badgerstripe. "What is it?" She mews back, voice light with curiosity and even a twinge of worry. Yes, she was still angry with the young warrior and her friends. They'd messed up, and their mistake had consequences that were dire. But as far as she's concerned, they're still little more than apprentices, young and naive, and they had no idea their actions would ever end up bringing about such misery. So when she sees Badgerstripe filled with so much nervousness and misery in her den, of course she will be worried. ​

 

[badgerstripe]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Howlingstar is worried. Why? She can't imagine any other cat in this Clan would be worried to see Badgerstripe sulking as she had been for countless days. The worry in her leader's voice and eyes is almost enough to reassure Badgerstripe that nothing bad is to come to them. Almost, but not quite.

Badgerstripe takes it as invitation to step in, and for a moment she stands in uneasy silence. Mouth opening and closing, urging out words that would not come. Words she could not think of. In this moment, she recalls all the whisperings of the gathering when Howlingstar appeared and announced her code. That they should not share a rank as the other warriors - spoken loud and plain. The disapproval and shock from the leaders. Why is it that everyone else was more appalled than Howlingstar herself? What was she hiding?

Badgerstripe bites her lip - her heart swells with fear. She was expecting more, and though she had wished away severe punishment since the night it happened, it was the fear of the unknown that bothered her. "I-I don't understand," she begins with a trembling voice. "After what happened, you.. you didn't do anything. You're making us wait, aren't you?" Maybe it made sense. Howlingstar couldn't deliver a divine punishment in her broken state. She could barely send that kittypet away without staggering and losing her breath.

"Aren't you going to send us away? Everyone else would have. Why.. why are you making us wait?" To return to her normal duties as she did, like any normal warrior, only to be demoted (or worse, exiled) once Howlingstar recovers - the mere thought of it made her dizzy. With a lump of sorrow forming in her throat and tears ebbing her eyes, she continues. "I'm.. scared, Howlingstar. I don't know what you're planning to do with us - with me. Wh-why haven't you punished us yet?" Just get it over with, she thinks. Just rip the bandaid off.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── EVERYONES WAITING FOR DEATH ⋅❁⋅ JUSTICE DELIVERS ITS GIFT ──┐‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• 
  Badgerstripe ✩ she/her, warrior of thunderclan, 13 moons.
  ⭃ a long-furred blue tortoiseshell with a notable black dorsal stripe and green eyes.
  ⭃ formerly mentored by burnstorm
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ⭃ penned by ixora ↛ @.ixora on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​

 

[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar blinks curiously at the she-cat, listening silently as she lets her speak. There is a small cock of her head when she questions if she's making them wait. Wait for what? She wonders, but it soon becomes clear. Badgerstripe thinks they still have a punishment, one that is imminently coming. Her eyes soften and narrow as she continues to hear her out, and she even sits up in her nest to try and face her a bit better. Sympathy clouds her gaze as she looks to the young warrior. "I'm not going to send you away, Badgerstripe. None of you." She waits a moment to let the words sink in, believing she might need a few heartbeats to process it. Her voice drips with genuity as she continues, "No punishment is coming your way. I know the four of you feel an unspeakable guilt for Sunfreckle's death. But if I knew my friend at all, I know he wouldn't want you to continue to suffer for a mistake. I believe you all are punishing yourselves enough; I do not need to add to it." She sees the misery in their eyes. She sees the prey left untouched at meal-time. She sees the way they isolate themselves in the evenings when the rest of their clanmates share tongues. They're already giving themselves a worse punishment than she ever could; they care, and they're sorry.​