vandalize my heart ☀︎ nursery

[Sunfreckle]

His injuries were not so terrible he had to stay in the medicine cat den, so he had compromised and moved to the nursery earlier than he had planned; not that it might matter. Sunfreckle was a cat who suited his namesake; optimistic and cheerful, pleasant and always with a smile. But today he was nothing but a rain cloud, expression morose and vacant, head low in his new nest. His green gaze stared out past the nursery den mouth into the distance and he wished more than anything he could go back in time and stop himself from being foolish, reckless, putting his unborn kits in harms way. Berryheart had not been sure of how many there were, if they even moved yet but the medicine cat had been gentle in his responses; had left him with lingering bits of hope that he had not made the biggest mistake of his life and so he clung to it as the only thing that mattered. Live, breath, wait and see; the very scent of prey disgusted him lately, the sharp tang of blood made him recoil and wrinkle his nose and gradually his mood worsened in every passing day. Sunfreckle was not happy, Sunfreckle was scared, but most of all Sunfreckle felt an almost alarming absence of feeling after the initial waves of sorrow crashed over him.
Sometimes in his foggy haze he remembered happier times, his first litter just born and rolling at his side, Rabbitnose constantly poking his head in much to the chagrin of the other queens. He wished his mate could stay in here with him, but he knew it wasn't allowed, he knew it would only take him from his duties.
The doubts he'd had when Howlingstar once called his name in what felt like a lifetime ago: to stand on her council, singling him out as a clanmate to be respected, to carry her authority....it all came back; awash in his misery. He would never be a capable lead warrior like his fellows, he would always just be the idiot ex-kittypet who had not a drop of sense in his head; who made mistakes constantly, who couldn't even keep unborn kits safe, who couldn't even keep his small family happy.
"...the songbirds are so loud." The red tabby murmured into his bedding, ears flattening to the singsong cry of the avians outside. He used to like their crooning, now it only hurt his ears..
​

 

[Shinebug]

Like many things in a tiny mind filled with thoughts that were simply too big, pregnancy was something that Shinekit didn’t understand.

He’d asked before, and had only ever gotten confusing deflections about how the cat would understand when he was older. At best, the rascal would receive strange riddles about ‘when two cats love each other very much’ which quite frankly seemed ridiculous. The shaft of sunlight knew that the kits were stored in the parent’s stomach until it was time to come out, that much was obvious, but how they got in there eluded him.

These were the thoughts running through Shinekit’s head as he stared at Sunfreckle from across the nursery, the older cat looking so dejected that the den itself seemed to dim to match the mood. A small frown crawled across flame-tinted features. He’d heard bits and pieces: an injury, possible harm, and quite a bit of apprehension. The boy’s knowledge of biology was lacking, but if anyone were to ask him he’d say they were blowing this whole thing out of proportion.

Padding forwards, Shinekit sat in front of Sunfreckle. “Then we can drown them out by talking” he said matter-of-factly, trying to comfort the older cat in his own strange way. Suddenly, the kit stretched out a paw, stroking the other’s pelt for a moment before pulling back, a smile on his face. “your fur is soft” he reported. “If your kits bounced around in your belly, then they would’ve hit your fur. Since your fur is soft, they wouldn’t get hurt. And since kits are like their parents, your kits have soft fur. If they bounced around and hit each other, then they’d be fine!” Why wasn’t he a medicine cat?

“You’re soft, so they’re soft. You’re strong, so they’re strong. You’re healthy, so they’re healthy. Get it?” ​

 

[BERRYHEART]

Though his uncertainty still plagued him, experienced only in delivering kits and not evaluating their hidden health, Berryheart was determined to continue checking in with Nifty. He needed it, likely; to ensure he was kept in good health. The tortoiseshell could not risk any further harm, be it to the father or his kittens. Hearing the buzz of conversation from the nursery- though, it sounded remarkably like just one voice- Berryheart promptly decided it would be wise to pay a visit now.

Knowing it needn't be an intensive checkup- for he would have smelled the sharp, dizzying acidity of cat-blood had Nifty reopened his wound- The medicine cat's approach, his encroachment through the threshold of the nursery, was as subdued as ever. He offered the red tom a nod of greeting, the smallest light of a barely-tangible smile dancing in his dull, uneven eyes at Cheery's attempted health advice.

"You alright?" he asked, inquisitive gaze settling steadfast upon Nifty. It would be a quick checkup... routine, though hopefully somewhat soothing.​

PENNED BY PIN ☾​

 

[Rabbitnose]

He did not care if the other queens grew irritated with him, Rabbitnose was going to check on Sunfreckle as often as he could. The silvery blue dappled warrior could never be truly separated from him.

He crawled into the nursery behind Berryheart, taking his place by Sunfreckle and situated himself so that he could be used as a pillow.

Stress and worry had been doing a number on him and it was beginning to show in a much more subdued Rabbitnose.

He wasn't cheery anymore, he was quiet and less sociable. He pressed his cheek to Sunfreckle's quietly, lacking the words to comfort him. He could say it will be alright, but what if it wasn't? The thought made him sick.

He was scared.

His throat often felt too tight to speak lately and so he would keep quiet and let Berryheart do his checkup. He appreciates Shinekits words of comfort to Sunfreckle. They were spoken with such innocence, and he wanted to believe his theory was true.​

 

[STORMFEATHER]

"Hi," A soft voice squeaked from the entrance of the nursery.

It was Stormpaw, a freshly-killed mouse dropped at her soft white paws. She shuffled uncertainly. Though young, she was no longer as naive as she had been when she was a kit. She could sense the uncertainty coming from Sunfreckle and his mate Rabbitnose. Of course, the fight at Sunningrocks remained clear in her mind. She had felt awful when she saw Sunfreckle return in the state he was in. The apprentice could not help but think she could have helped him avoid it.

"Uhm, I don't know if this would help—" Her eyes shifted toward Berryheart—he was the medicine cat after all and would know if Sunfreckle should eat more or not— "But I caught this mouse, just for you, Sunfreckle. I wanted to say I wished I could have seen you and we could have run back to camp together." Stormpaw said, ears flattening against her head. She nosed the warm mouse. "Fresh..."

The pale tabby that had nearly drowned her mother was on her periphery. Whoever had done this to Sunfreckle, who dared to harm innocent kits within him, would feel her wrath, too. She would make sure of it.

​

 

[MOUSENOSE]

Sunfreckle hasn’t been himself since he’d returned injured from Sunningrocks. Mousepaw knows he’s fretting about his pregnancy, about the unborn kits inside him, and she feels terrible every time she locks gazes with one of her fathers. Guilt eats at her like acid. If she hadn’t acted like such a brat, would Sunfreckle be in this state? Her father’s green eyes, once bright, are glazed with his sadness and disappointment.

She wants to believe that the kits are okay. That nothing will come of the injury he’d taken to his flank. But the fact that she can’t know causes her to fret. The small fluffy tortoiseshell creeps close to him, shouldering rudely past Stormpaw and Shinekit, to settle anxiously at his flank. “Want me to go catch them all? Or I’ll yell at them, and they’ll scatter and stop bothering you.” She offers him a smile, but she’s afraid he doesn’t forgive her yet. That maybe he’ll never forgive her for how she acted, and what she said to him.
​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

 

[Sunfreckle]

Any normal circumstances he would have found Shinekit's antics to be charming and enjoyable, a nice little burst of optimism and good cheer to fill the growing dread that had continued to sweep over him but despite the young tom's efforts he felt even more morose the more he listened to him speak. Just the reminder of a living kitten before him kept his mind constantly darting to the possibly hurt or even lost ones yet still unborn within him and it made him want to start bawling down into the nest beneath him; press his face in until he could not be seen nor heard muffled through moss and bracken.
He is not left to dwell long before Berryheart's spotted pelt appears before him and he slow blinks in a silent greeting, a smile forced up despite his desire to continue moping about. Rabbitnose's arrival is not met with his usual chiding scold reminding the other he can't be loitering in the nursery so often like he did before, this one time he opted to be selfish and turn his head so he could rub the side of his face against the blue tom's before settling his head on his back to rest in a more propped up manner. It's only then he feels up to speaking at all.
"I'm...alright enough." Nothing had changed, just the same empty feeling of uncertainty that weighted him down; his injuries were doing well, unjostled and able to mend without much issue now that he was stationary here. Green eyes glanced over to Stormpaw padding forward, he remembers when she was born alongside Falconpaw and two kits who were not long for the world and the memory of Flamewhisker's grief is almost too much; he drops his gaze down to the mouse before him. "Thank you, Stormpaw...don't worry, you did well to go fetch help."
He'd been so angry at the time he doubted he'd have listened to reason, his own foolish fault. Mousepaw's arrival is met with a slightly more brighter expression to her callous insistance on murdering several birds just for bothering him and he can not help but laugh with genuine sincerity.
"Little whiskers, I don't disbelieve for a second that you can't...but maybe let's not go disturbing the camp."
​