private VENUS FLYTRAP &. sharpshadow

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

they needed to walk away. before they did anything else that was considered irrational or blasphemous. surely strangling the life out of ones lead warrior would be just that. they're just tired. they're tired. shadowclan has faced nothing but heartache. nothing but pain and suffering, so much of it at the paws of windclan. sunstar spoke of them so clearly, practically calling them a horrid leader for all the hardship they go through but are the stars not to blame? they try so hard to make this clan okay. to keep them safe. they've lost life after life after damned life for them, and no one seems to appreciate that. all they see is the chilledstar who us stoic and doesn't care. chilledstar that cat who would dare slap another at a gathering. chilledstar is sick of it. usually they'd take such insult with ease. rolling their eyes and letting it roll of their back like water off a duck, but they wouldn't back down this time. how they need so badly to sink their teeth into something. anything.

they can hear the paw steps of sharpshadow behind them but for now they decidedly ignore it all. they crouch down as they find a small mouse running through the marsh lands. they don't see a lot of those. but it would work. they waifing for the perfect opportunity before pouncing, snapping it's neck with ease. its not enough to sate them completely, but for now it does give them a bit of calmness to face their lead warrior.

"why are you following me? figured you'd be too pissed off to even be around me right now."

do they care if she's upset or not? not really. but there had to be some reason she's lingering around instead of bsck at camp gossiping about how they were doomed by the stars for this gathering. tch. little did they know that shadowclan was doomed since briarstar first formed it. how else did she lose all of her lives like that? not because starclan loved them. but because they were cursed. a cursed clan trying to appease stars that did not care for them. and in spite of how futile it felt, chilledstar would try to be on their good side, for the most part, until they died. their clan need not suffer more because of them. they hoped that whatever punishment the stars decided to give, it was simply for them and them alone. shadowclan didn't deserve more agony.

———————---***i try to live in black and white***———————---​

but i'm so blue✧ i'd like to mean it when i say i'm over you

•  
• — black feline with a white marking across their face, a white chin, a white right front paw, and blue eyes. chilledstar is covered in scars, the most prominent ones being the one across their face, and the one across their neck.
  — 47 moons old; ages the 3rd every month
  — they / them pronouns
  — aromantic / homosexual ; currently not looking
  — child of JAGGED and RAVEN
  — shadowclan ; loyal to shadowclan ; other info if applicable
  — mildly difficult to befriend ; trusts barely anyone; trusts no one outside of shadowclan
  — "speech", thoughts, attacking
  — peaceful powerplay allowed

​

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[SHARPSHADOW]

As stupid as they could be sometimes, Chilledstar wasn't the kind of dense that would leave them clueless to Sharpshadow's presence. He didn't even really try to hide his steps, either. He had no desire to sneak up on his leader... To flatten himself on the ground and find out what Chilledstar talked to themselves about when they thought no one was listening. He was just doing his duty, or whatever. He was just keeping them alive, even if she thought they were one of the dumbest cats in this forest, right now. it's all a matter of how long Chilledstar would go before telling him to get out of their sight. Maybe they were just hungry. Hangry. Whatever. He feels like a mentor watching their apprentice, as he watches Chilledstar snap the tiny neck of a mouse. Sharpshadow doesn't say anything until spoken to.

He sniffs. " I can be mad at you and not want you to die at the same time, " blandly, he says. " That seems to happen whenever you go outside lately. "

Sharpshadow purses her lips, wondering what else she should really say. Maybe she could properly yell at them without being interrupted by Smogmaw's big mouth, but that was kind of an asshole thing to do to someone that clearly wanted alone time... Sharpshadow's stance is awkward. In the middle of the forest without any goal to her name other than following Chilledstar. Her nose was not to the air in search of prey. She didn't look to the borders, weary of any WindClan paws stepping over, but she had to say something, right?

Reassurance wasn't really her thing. Nor did she really want to do it right now. His whiskers twitch. " ...I hope you know that none of us want you to die, " he mews. ...Is it really reassurance to be told something so basic?​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

small cw for passive suicidal ideation//

"shame it's not happening now."

they grumble, though they're not sure if they mean it or not. they couldn't say. they just think that sometimes maybe it would be easier for shadowclan as a whole if they weren't around anymore. if that bear had ripped all of their lives in one fell sweep, what would have happened then? they don't have that many left. not anymore. anyone that was counting might think they have more than they do. they did not need others to worry about them. they did not want to be worried about. not when it felt like this. not when...

i hope you know, none of us want you to die.

their thoughts stop abruptly. they turn to face sharpshadow, trying to subtly look for any signs of deceit in her face. they can't see it. part of them wants to believe that he's lying to them but he's not good at hiding his facial features. never has been, and it's unlikely to start now, is it? they sigh heavily, closing their eye as they let their claws loosen. they dont even realize they've practically shredded the little mouse beneath them.

"...right. even if you all wanted me dead, it wouldn't matter."

yes it would, a voice tells them. it would matter. it does matter. they push the thoughts away, lashing their tail.

"i am perfectly capable of leaving my camp without dying."

———————---***i try to live in black and white***———————---​

but i'm so blue✧ i'd like to mean it when i say i'm over you

•  
• — black feline with a white marking across their face, a white chin, a white right front paw, and blue eyes. chilledstar is covered in scars, the most prominent ones being the one across their face, and the one across their neck.
  — 47 moons old; ages the 3rd every month
  — they / them pronouns
  — aromantic / homosexual ; currently not looking
  — child of JAGGED and RAVEN
  — shadowclan ; loyal to shadowclan ; other info if applicable
  — mildly difficult to befriend ; trusts barely anyone; trusts no one outside of shadowclan
  — "speech", thoughts, attacking
  — peaceful powerplay allowed

​

​

 

[SHARPSHADOW]

Sharpshadow's face gives a twitch. It's dramatic. It's gross. And over what? It's unfair, too, the way he knows he would throw himself in front of anything that came their way, even if was a beast Chilledstar had prayed upon to appear. " You don't mean that, " Sharpshadow asserts. Because what would it mean for the clan if they really did? Sharpshadow had no right to speak for the Leader, but Chilledstar wasn't... untouchable. If Smogmaw wanted him to speak up so badly — if Chilledstar trusted him like they allegedly did, then... maybe this was something he's allowed to say.

Sharpshadow stays... in tact. She doesn't let herself get mad or upset or whatever... She tries to look at Chilledstar in that hardass way that Smogmaw had looked at her. Utter boredom in the face of dramatics like this. Someone to flatly tell you you're wrong when you're being irrational. ( She refuses to believe that he was right, though. She refuses. ) Chilledstar is giving her a funny look, and Sharpshadow looks right back, face set in a thin line.

...right. even if you all wanted me dead, it wouldn't matter. Sharpshadow frowns. " What does that mean? " He does't really expect them to answer. Pallid eyes remain on them.

She snorts, then. " I'm not really convinced of that lately. " The warrior scrunches her nose.

And... they're not... friends. Not really. Even if Chilledstar was telling her the truth about trust and all of that, that didn't make them buddies. That didn't necessarily make her someone Chilledstar would want to talk to... Nor did it make Sharpshadow wnat to talk to them, but she felt kinda obligated to do something... for some reason. " If you don't wanna go back to camp, let's walk. " he mumbles. " And you can, uh... I mean. " Why would they tell him anything? He pulls a face. " I'm a good listener. " lamely, he says.​