WAKEUP - searching for the thunder

[tigerwing]

She had never found moving so hard. The pain that enveloped her heart was ever so as she pushed her coat of orange and browns the the undergrowth, tears gently sliding down her face. This wasn't her fault. It wasn't- she alone couldn't have prevented this, whatever this was she was still so unsure. But it didn't take much brain power for the girl to understand that things were very different at home. If Thunderclan was Skyclaws... That meant-

Howlingstar was dead.

Tigerpaws body moved painfully slow, feeling wrong with every step away. But even though their scent still clung, fresh, lighting the path of her steps as she carefully followed suit of the other Thunderclanners, it wasn't the same. It wouldn't be the same. Did they have a plan already? Did they have allies formed already?

She wouldn't know. The freshness of the scents dared that it wasn't even days since this happened. If only she was faster before. If only she got out sooner. She could've been one more warrior at their sides-

She would've been a warrior if- if she had been paying attention. It was her fault. The light that flashed over her, the screeching of mechanical dying noises, the pain that flooded her body-

She would've been a warrior, named by Howlingstar. But she would never get that. But they did, and a smile crossed her face.

dear badgerpaw... What name did she grace you with? her heart tugged slightly, closing green eyes from the light Cascades to remember her sweet scent.

And palepaw, did he get a name that showed his endurance and strength?

And bravepaw, fallowpaw, were they all alright? Was the only loss the leader, but she feared not. She just wanted to know. She just wanted to see her family- it was all she ever knew besides her mother, and it wasn't the same without them.

The scent she followed became stronger, increasingly so as her ears perked up and her steps quickened a bit. Who would she see here? Would they even welcome her- would they know and remember the scarred over molly? Surely, someone would.

She would persist forward, with longer strides. There was the slightest gimp in her back leg, the pain from walking almost unbearable, yet she would persevere. In her head, though unnamed, she was a warrior of Thunderclan. And Thunderclan never gave up. They were strong. She was strong. She could do this.

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[leafhusk]

a growing coldness tickles her nose, bitterly reminding her that leaf-fall is nearing. prey will get ready to hide in their burrows, and their growing hoard of exiles will struggle to feed. her strict orders in disregarding a fresh-kill pile may not stay viable if they're still out here when the leaves change; and then the once beautiful, blanket of white snow will come faster than she can blink. no, no… it won't come to that. thinking too much about their future only makes their present worse.

up head, something rustles, uneven pawsteps grow louder in her ears. leafhusk swivels them to the beat, bracing herself, but the air she tastes is familiar. nostalgic. an orange tabby, with a dark muzzle emerges, and her eyes widen. "tigerpaw?" she speaks in a quick, uncertain breath. it's been seasons since she last saw the apprentice, last memory being around the wolves' demise. paranoia surges through her, bites at her stomach with ivory teeth— what if she's a spy? sent here by the traitors, who used her broken skin and emotions to toy with the ones they exiled. "what... what happened? why are you here?" she asks next, hesitant to take a step forward. if not for how her face twists into worry that ages her features, the tone in her question warbles; she'd look threatening.

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[tigerwing]

she couldn't lie about the fact she was growing tired. The days since she last rested seemed long ago, her eyes sunken and bearing the exhaustion as she looked up to meet the golden eyes of a warrior she struggled to remember the name of. Not as easily did her name come to tongue before she was greeted with a hesitance that pained her heart a bit more. Tigerpaw dipped her head, sinking down a bit to show herself as -hopefully- non threatening.

Even as she crouched over herself, her ribs protruded from her sides showing the weak state she was in. Shed get better- but she was persistent in finding her home first. Unfortunately, she would hope this would do for her tired paws and weary features. "Leafhusk," she murmured a quiet greeting, searching her eyes innocently before flicking her gaze to objects further away, in search across the landscape for others.

"Im- I owe you guys an apology. I made a mistake many moons ago. One that haunts me, permanently. I couldn't let the lil bastard go," a word she had never said before, picked up by listening to the older cats behind bars, faces she will never know. "I was attacked by a monster on the thunderpath, but I just wanted to fill the bellies of Thunderclan. It would've been a fat prey too," she let out a soft sigh of disappointment.

"Please don't chase me away from here, I just want to be home. Flamewhisker, Wildheart, palepaw- I seen em earlier in the day. Several of our clanmates. They left not many words but mystery and endless questions for one to ponder, and told me to run. B-but we're going back right? All of us?" Her eyes moved back to leafhusks, hope slowly building as she kneaded the ground uncomfortably. The most she spoke in moons - it had to have been, she was so big now compared to what she remembered before. Everything was so different now. She still held some hope that lit her eyes like a childs, yet, there was deep pain twisted in them as well. Pain embedded from her long journey through life. For as excited as she thought she would be, she could not bare to smile with the look that was given to her. That look of distrust entangled with worry, as if even her who'd been missing may attack.

Who could one trust in these days? Even helping hands may turn to monsters.. And she did nothing but disgrace her clan. The others didn't seem mad... a part of her hoped she was just being hard on herself. But the other part said she should be. She let them down that day. If she would've respected the Thunderpath like she was told- if she would've listened for once- she could've been of more help and not a worry stressing them more. [/jjustify]​

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[leafhusk]

she's so skinny… so frail, tigerpaw crouches downward and it's reminisce of a kitten. the fear begins to ease back, her bulging eyes softening into clear empathy. true, proudly booming thunderclan still runs through this apprentice's blood; someone who just wanted to feed the clan. "you mustn't apologize." she murmurs, shaking her head dismissively.

"if your clanmates told you to leave, then it was for your protection. thunderclan's changed." leafhusk leans down to match tigerpaw's height.

"our suffering didn't end at the wolves, i'm afraid. traitors began targeting those with full kittypet blood… a few of us, murdered as a result howlingstar—" she chokes on her name. "—sent us here for our protection. it didn't end there, she was… murdered, from my understanding, by skyclaw, who forced anyone with kittypet blood into exile." it hurts to speak outloud, because it solidifies everything. leafhusk wasn't present for howlingstar's murder, but it's still something she can pretend vividly– she should've been there. the cat who was only deputy when she joined, accepting her into a council after endless tragedy. it's not fair.

"i don't know when we'll get to return. but i trust that you'll get to see your home again, if flamewhisker, wildheart, and palefire urged you to flee." she knows her clanmates won't cower under a mouthy brat like skyclaw. she won't let the ones out here either.

"now, come with me. you need to rest, and i'll have some clanmates hunt for you. don't worry about patrolling. regain your strength." the lead warrior stands, lingering while tigerpaw rises to her bony paws. she'll hold her shoulder out, offering it to the apprentice if she wishes. mentally, she notes to make sure the girl is fed alongside the kits.

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