sensitive topics we’re just long-distance | missing kitten

[tansyshine]

Yesterday night, Coal had trouble sleeping. With Shardkit and tucked soundly in to her side, Tansy had gently removed herself to take Coalkit around for a walk. They had talked- about things that bothered him, his fears, things that made him happy. In turn, it made her happy too, knowing that he trusted her enough to open up. Whenever he had been worn out from their small walk and play session, she had settled back in to their shared nest.

Unbeknownst to her, that would be the last time she settles in to a full nest- excluding Crystalpaw.

"Coalkit…?" her voice is a quiet croak as she rouses early morning, feeling as if she had gotten too little sleep again. Theres a lack of a warm body against her, she can feel Shardkit but she cannot feel her other son. "You know you’re not supposed to be up this early…" she groans, her voice playful despite the sleepiness. When a lack of a response comes through, Tansy nearly shoots up from the nest. Coalkit never went outside without her being awake, and never ever this early. Something settles in her stomach, whether its panic or fear, and shes quick to spur herself in to morion. Check the nursery first, and she does. Is he tucked in with Sunfreckle by accident? she leans over to get a better look- no, he’s not. The other queens? Tansy does a quick walk around, no, he isn’t….

She takes a shuddering breath as she rushes out of the nursery. "Where is my son!?" her voice is panic-laced as she scours every inch, every nook of the camp and comes up empty-pawed. Until she catches a scent, and it leads right out of the dirt place tunnel and then… . "My Coal...? Little one, are you th-" her world is a raindrop, plummeting from a leaf of security, of happiness so hard-fought for. And when it hits the ground, she feels everything shatter around her. A wail rises in her throat, splits the early morning air as she stares helplessly at the spot it had disappeared in. His scent trail is gone beyond this point due to the rainfall after she had fallen asleep and somehow her blood curdles in her veins, it becomes ice-water. All too familiar grief washes over her as she takes a few steps further. She’s right- she will be mourning, but this time there will be no body. He’s gone, and there will be no explanation, nothing. Tansy does not cry, not yet at least. She stumbles back, eyes wide and glassy, with a look so far away as she moves back to the main part of their clearing. She does not acknowledge that she may have woken up the camp, no, as she places a paw over her eyes. Silent tears slip down, shuddering breaths drawn in- shes about half tempted to go and collapse in to Lily Pad’s side and just wail, wail until it doesn’t hurt anymore, wail until he comes back. But that wont happen, and by now, shes sure it wont ever happen again. She thinks of his brilliant little smile, the glassy eyes that had looked up to her and she cannot help but let out a keening noise. He is truly gone, and Tansy can feel her very seams falling apart. Tansy sinks lower and lower in to the ground until all thats left is her collapsing in a heap, trying not to scream.​

"speech"​

 

[barleysight.]

The apprentice couldn't say she lost a whole lot. She was abandoned. Her only sibling Hound tooth, and her adopted mom was all she had. She didn't have many friends, but she considered Sleekpaw one, as well as KilldeerCry. But if she lost them, she'd be heartbroken.

The brown apprentice was quick to jolt up, her paws leading her to the wailing noise as dew and the rain from the night prior wets her white paws. That was a wail of grief. And as she neared closer, she realized it was TansyShine, a queen who wished to stay a queen.

Barleypaws brown and white fur would push against Tansy, a little uneasy, but an attempt to comfort nonetheless. She didn't know exactly what was going on.

"Miss TansyShine," she would say, her voice heavy and quiet by the grief in the air. She wanted to do something- anything. "I can help you, I..." she begins softly, moving to rest beside the queen. "Maybe.. I can go get others, we can help you," she continues, though it was hard to console when one had no idea what was possibly wrong.

 

[LITTLE WOLF]

At the sound of a queens anguished cries, Little Wolfs head snaps up, ears angled towards the nursery and green eyes quick to follow. Alarm courses through her veins as she overhears that a kit is missing. Immediately she is on her feet, meal discarded and forgotten for the time being. "Coalkit is missing?" she asks as she comes to the queens side, green eyes finding Barleypaw for a moment before she speaks. "Barleypaw is right, Howlingstar will send a patrol out to look for him, I'll join them." she does not promise anything, does not tell the she-cat that they will find her son. She knows what false hope can do to a cat, knows that there is a possibility that they find nothing at all. There were a lot of things that could go wrong when a kit wandered the forest alone, any queen with an ounce of sense knows that. Still, she would never forgive herself if she didn't at least try.

"I'll wake Howlingstar and tell her what's going on then we'll go and look for him" she says, pausing for a moment to press her nose against the top of the queens head in what is meant to be a sad but comforting gesture and then she turns to head off in the direction of her mothers den.
​

 

[batwing]

Anguish like this, Batwing didn't quite know. No, he knew similar. He knew having lost his sense of sight for a time. He knew the grief that came being told his family didn't make it. The words falling out of Leopardtongue's mouth like the rain from the skies just hours before the screaming started now. Batwing was up in a heartbeat when it echoed in his ears, following Little Wolf to the situation. A shuddering breath left him, quiet as it was. Batwing couldn't imagine loosing their own blood- forget their parents. Batwing's ears twitched, and he was speaking.

"I'll go too." He says with a solid nod, voice still achingly tired from sleep. Batwing glanced at Little Wolf as she headed for her mother's den, a slight nod of his head following after her. He looked back towards Tansyshine. He opened his mouth to speak- something, say something, comfort her, damn it. Batwing wasn't good at that. He wasn't here to play nice with people's emotions, he realized- because anytime someone said something to him the weeks following the Great Battle, nothing helped. Nothing. "We'll do what we can, Tansyshine." He finally surmised, quietly, his ears flattened. Why? He didn't know what else to do.​

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"speech"​

 

[GENTLESTORM]

( ❄ ) The wail had been enough to wake Hailstorm from his slumber as his head jolted upwards and the fur along his spine prickling from having been startled. He doesn't give himself a moment to recover as he gets up and nearly hits his head at the entrance of the den though manages to duck in time, warm amber eyes blinking a few times until his gaze focused on the heap of fur resting in the camp clearing. Tansyshine. It takes him a heartbeat to register and process what had happened, his mouth goes dry when he hears the words of "Coalkit is missing?" tumble out of Little Wolf's jaws that his ears lay flat against his skull. The sleepiness that clung to him washing off a lot quicker as Hailstorm began more attentive, he bites his tongue trying to figure out what to say.

He could never imagine losing kin so small and vulnerable to everything around it, he draws in a breath before finally finding his voice and says to the queen "I'll go along with that patrol and help search for him." He couldn't give the queen false hope, Hailstorm would not forgive himself if they ended up not finding the kitten or worse. He tries not to think about it too much as he takes a few steps forward in the direction of where Little Wolf and Batwing had went off to. He wants to say more to comfort the queen but no words slip from his mouth. ​

( O SOL PEDIU A ; LUA EM CASAMENTO )

 

[ROEFLAME .]

ROEFLAME — break the air to feel the fall.
Where is my son?!
The wail is a frightening shake back to the conscious world as Roeflame startles awake.
At first, the gentle drum of the rain is the only noise she hears.
The moment doesn’t last long, however, as another wail rises up from somewhere outside of the den.
Taking no time to gather her senses, the tabby is on the heels of Hailstorm, rushing out to see what was happening.
Tansyshine, normally so full of light and motherly kindness, is a crumpled mess on the damp soil, momentarily flanked by three other warriors and an apprentice before Little Wolf rushes off to fetch her mother.
Roeflame can offer no comfort, as she cannot begin to fathom the Queens troubles, but that does not stop her from filling Little Wolf’s empty spot, offering Tansyshine a soft look of reassurance.
"I’ll make sure we don’t stop until every whisker-length of our territory is searched." She vows, her tone solemn.
She had seen a mothers grief, many times before- but this time it was different, this time there was an image of Dewfrost wailing over her lost children playing in the back of the warriors mind, the question of if she had grieved like Tansyshine was.
No, of course not. The realist in her is snapping.
She made a choice.
With that, the bitter idea of an estranged mothers love is shelved, her focus shifting from Tansyshine to the direction Little Wolf had taken off in.
"speech"

tags​

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[✧ Sleekserpent.]

♡​♡ MOM AND DAD THINK I SUCK AT LIFE ♡♡​

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sleekpaw & 07 moons & genderfluid & he/she/they & thunderclan apprentice ​

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The wails of grief are an unfamiliar thing, and sleekpaw can only stare with wide blue eyes. Coalkit is missing - but where could he have one? This is not like before, when she'd known exactly where the clans missing queen and kits had wandered off, though she'd never breathed word of it even when they'd instead been found upon the bridge. No - coalkit is simply gone, missing, wandered off. And they need to find them. "I can help too," he offers - he's smaller than most his age, perhaps he'll be able to squeeze into any kit-sized hidey-holes they find.

— they hoped i'd be rich by this time ♡

• Actions && "Speech," && ' Thoughts/Quotes '
  
  ooc: —
  tw/cw: —
  
• — a small and effeminate apprentice with pale pinkish cream fur and baby blue eyes. sleekpaw comes across as quiet and aloof towards most, though he shows a softer side around the nursery queens and his mentor. she seems to care little for anything outside of training, apprentice duties, and her appearance. they seem strangely silent on the topic of borders however, and even shiftier about anything concerning cross clan relationships.
  
  — physically medium && mentally hard
  — non-violent powerplay allowed && healing powerplay allowed && minor injury powerplay allowed
  — please attack using [b][color=mistyrose]action here[/color][/b] and tag account

 

[tansyshine]

Barleypaw is the first to attend to her crumpled body, resting besides her. It is a warm body, something that would normally bring comfort- "My- My baby," she shudders as she takes a gasping breath of air, claws unsheathing in to the ground below. She feels the urge to start screaming her head off, to wail, to lash out. Tansy only falls in to silent tears, her face contorted in grief. Little Wolf approaches and Tansy barely hears her words as everything becomes just too much, too little in a short amount of time. Too many eyes on her, too little on Coalkit. Little Wolf is going to wake Howlingstar for a patrol, and shes briefly aware of the nose that presses in to her forehead. She makes a noise, cries out loud from this and falls silent once more, shoving her face in to her paws.

All of the sudden there are too many cats around her as she spills tears unto the soil below. We'll do what we can, Tansyshine. And yet somehow she knows it won't be enough. Even if she, herself, went it wouldn't be enough. I'll go along with that patrol, futile, futile, all of it. She chokes, sputters on her own spit. Stop, she tries to will her mouth to say but nothing comes out but a high-pitched whine. It had been her fault. Maybe if she hadn't walked him around camp until he was practically dragging his paws, maybe if she had stayed up later, maybe, maybe, maybe. Her heart shatters beneath the weight of what-ifs, it's losing Littlekit and Rainkit all over again. It's the same grief, the same sadness, the same anger at herself. If she had been a better mother, a better cat, maybe Coalkit wouldn't have tried to wonder off. Maybe she would have caught the signs. Maybe-

"He's gone, he's gone." she cries and she cries even as Roeflame says they'll search every inch. It won't be enough. It won't be. Even Sleekpaw says that he can help. So many cats, still no Coalkit. "Lily Pad-" she cannot finish it as she lets out another wail, shoving her head further in to her paws. "Someone get Lily Pad." she wants her best friend. She wants to cry on her shoulder like she had before. She wants to wrap herself around her and never let go.

Stars, what is she going to tell Shardkit? What is she going to tell Crystalpaw, Tigerkit? She cannot fathom their reaction to a sibling, of a nest-mate missing. Her whole world feels like its collapsing and Tansy can do nothing to stop it.

✿✿✿ info

• 
  -> tansy ,, tansyshine
  -> cis female ,, she/her ,, 34 months
  -> permaqueen of thunderclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> fluffy cinnamon solid with low white and ice blue eyes
  -> “speech, a789cf” ,, thoughts
  -> bisexual ,, padding after lily pad ,, mother to many
  -> smells like wildflowers
  -> image by @wrendoings [ disc ]
  

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