private We can be wolves [Curlewnose]

The stars spanned the sky above: simply perfect in their pure, sparkling light, or so Badgermoon thought. The broad-shouldered tomcat was stretched out in the Sun-Warmed Pool, luxuriating in the heat radiating from the slate beneath the water. The air was chilly, as befitting an early newleaf night, but with a soft enough edge that he was not worried about being soaked to the bone and freezing. The warm water was a balm to his weary body and the deputy let his head drop, resting it at the lip of the pool and gazing dreamily up at the sky. He thought of StarClan, watching over the Clans, and wondered if anyone was watching him at that moment. He was content, truly he was, but ... well ... just in case ... ? "StarClan, guide my steps." he mumbled the prayer into the silent night air. "Show me what I'm supposed to do." he knew what he was supposed to do, mostly: serve WindClan and StarClan, which of course meant following Sootstar. But was that it? Was there anything else for him, any other calling in this world? "What else I'm supposed to do." he added after a moment's consideration.

@curlewnose
 

"leave those snails alone, they've got problems of their own"

Breathing in the fresh air, Curlew emerged from the tunnels to a darkened sky. He smiled up at the twinkling spirits of cats before him before rolling in the moorland grass to dislodge some of the grime on his pelt. Maybe a bath is in order, thought the tom as he glanced at the lingering roots and soil clinging to him.

That’s how Curlew came across his deputy, lounging in the warmed pool of stone. He caught the tail end of the bicolor’s prayer and felt very much like he’d trespassed on a private moment. Purring softly to announce his arrival, Curlew approached Badgermoon. ”Is now an alright time to have that chat? We’re moons overdue.” If the deputy looked hard enough, he might be able to see the deep blush across the tom’s face.

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Badgermoon had not been expecting company: his large head jolted up off his paws as he heard a low purr float into the night air. "Oh!" he stood, hastily, water streaming off his bicolor coat as he dipped his head hastily in greeting to the tunneler. "Uh, hey, Curlewnose." it was obvious by his tone and by the half-smile, half-grimace on his face that the deputy felt awkward at having been caught in such a vulnerable state, and he gestured hastily to the warm water, inviting the slender tomcat to rest alongside him. "Yes, yes, please. I know, it's been ages - I'm, uh, sorry about that." it hadn't been his intention to avoid those round gold eyes, large, soft muzzle, or elegant blue-patched fur. Quite the opposite, in fact...

Badgermoon sunk back into the water's warmth, attentive gaze upon Curlewnose. He ignored a sudden urge to wrap his long forelegs around the tunneler's small frame and instead inquired, "So, um. How can I help you?"
 

"leave those snails alone, they've got problems of their own"

Curlewnose padded into the pool and took the spot by Badgermoon. The tom chuckled at his deputy’s awkwardness; it was endearing how he stumbled over his words. ”You know what we need to talk about, Mr. Deputy,” Curlew mewed, teasing the bicolor cat. ”After the raid on Skyclan, remember?” He’d felt the same after every battle, if he was honest with himself. Each time Badgermoon came home with new scars, Curlew longed to hold him. The tunneler waited, watching to see if the deputy would realize. When it became clear he hadn’t, Curlew stopped being coy. ”I like you, Badgermoon. More than I like our other clanmates. More than I like the dirt and stones of the moor.”

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You know what we need to talk about. Badgermoon's heart quickened so sharply it almost made him sick, trying not to stiffen in surprise as the slender form which had so often occupied his thoughts slid into the water next to him. "Uh, yeah?" he tried to let out a little laugh, his lack of understanding obvious in the way he fidgeted with his own tail-tip. Desperately, he tried to keep himself from fixating on the tunneler's large, softly-smiling muzzle, or the elegant splashes of rainwater-gray on his coat, or the rich scent of earth on his body. I like you, Badgermoon. oh, well - that was good, right, better than - oh. Oh. Warmth flooded the deputy's chest and flushed his skin, a deep and joyful yearning stretching from the white tips of his ears to his mottled paw pads. Then in a flash it was overwhelmed by an icy terror, cutting through his body more fiercely than any leaf-bare gust.

Badgermoon felt his throat close and, before he could stop himself, took a scrambling step backwards. Even as he did it he felt a yawning chasm open between them that he wanted to close so badly he could've cried out. It felt as if he was being split in half, and yet he could not stop the rising tide of panic which propelled him farther and farther. "Oh, Curlew, I - " he shook his head, his body rigid. "I'm sorry, I - it's not - I'm not - " the warrior swallowed and shook his head again. "I'm sorry, I - you're an asset to the Clan, of course, and I - a very good friend, obviously, I just - " he pulled himself fully up and out of the pool and took a few steps back, the short, sharp grass of the just-regrowing moor digging into his paw pads. It stung, a reproach from the very ground: coward! Don't you dare walk away from him. You know what you want!

"I'm sorry, I - patrols, and whatnot...you understand." unable to stand there a moment longer, looking into those warm amber eyes which he craved more than he had thought possible, Badgermoon spun around and fled.

Coward.
 

"the wolf comes in the night when your mind is trying to sleep"

Though the pool was still warm from the sun, Curlew had gone cold. He stared after Badgermoon as he scrambled away, ripping a section of the blue-and-white tom with him. He could see the deputy’s golden eyes were full of fear, and that broke Curlewnose more than anything. All he wanted was to scoop up the bicolor and hold him, press his fur close and comfort him, but instead he watched Badger practically run away.

Curlew pulled himself out of the pool, shook his fur dry, and headed for the tunnels. More than ever he needed the embrace of the moors. They would hold him together.

He would not leave the tunnels until he could breathe again.

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