WE DO WHAT WE MUST TO STAY ALIVE — meeting 12/19/22

[PITCHSTAR]

"shadowclan! gather beneath the clanrock for a clan meeting."

pitchstar yowls as he hauls himself to the top of the clanrock, pausing to catch his breath while his clanmates pile beneath him. with each day, he's growing weaker from hunger... shadowclan couldn't continue like this, if they're to survive the next few moons of leaf-bare. he didn't want to rely on the carrionplace rats; he's seen the illness that befalls those unfortunate enough to eat an infected rodent, and the consequences are hideous; violent, hacking coughing fits, insomnia, death. and that isn't to mention infected wounds from a rat attack. it's a risk, especially with an untrained medicine cat. but what other choice does he have, now? his clan would starve to extinction if he didn't do something.

"we aren't goin' to make it through this leaf-bare if our fresh-kill pile remains this barren," pitchstar begins with a narrowing of his eyes, pointing towards the near-empty 'pile' with a claw. he's just stating the obvious, he knows. "we can't keep scourin' this wasteland of a territory for prey that doesn't exist; look where that's gotten us, so far! no, we have to take risks. from here on out, hunting patrols will be sent to the carrionplace as well as the remaining territory. the rats at carrionplace should be well-fed by the twoleg garbage there, but this won't make them an easy meal. they can just as quickly become a threat as they can prey... every patrol sent to the carrionplace should keep an eye out; a rat's bite is a nasty wound to deal with."

pitchstar searches the crowd for chilledgaze, hoping that his deputy would agree with this decision.

[ ceremonies will take place in my next post! ]​

 

[Starlingheart]

"SPEECH"
Pitchstars shilloutte gets skinnier every single day. Starlingheart watches with eyebrows creased with worry as he hails himself to the top of the rock from which he normally made announcements from, watches as he drew ragged breath after ragged breath, and she knew there was nothing she could do to help. It hurt so bad to see her clanmates suffering but she didn’t know what there was to do. Starvation was not something she could fix with any herb. Right?

At his call to gather she pads forward softly, taking a seat at the front and tilting her head up at him. She listens to his words and, as he speaks, she finds herself flinching. Rat bites. She knew vaguely what to do for an infection but… these types of wounds sounded nasty and she finds herself looking at the ground, anything to avoid her clanmates gazes. What were they thinking? She wonders. Were they waiting with baited breaths for her to save them or were they waiting for her to fail? It was very likely both. No one believes in her, she knows it. No one except maybe Granitepaw. Despite having a full name she hears what they call her. Baby for a medicine cat. But that’s what she was wasn’t it? She keeps her gaze firmly on the marsh beneath her. She would not look into their hopeful faces knowing that there was nothing she could do should they get injured… she refuses.
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[Tornadopaw]

If you don't like me, that's your problem

Pitchstar's voice echoes throughout the campsite as Tornado lifts her head from the tight ball she was huddled into. The icy chill of winter rakes its claws through her curls and for a moment she considers remaining where she lays, unwilling to relinquish what little warmth she's built up from her current position. But she decides against it and with visible reluctance the kitten is on her paws, stiffly making her way over as another frosty gale blows against her smokey pelt. Citrine eyes rest upon the gaunt leader sitting atop his perch and her ears flatten at his announcement. Food was rather hard to come by, that she was aware of, but she did have faith that the clan would pull through this. A low huff fell from her maw as she caught Starlingheart amongst the crowd, a frown pulling at her lips. The newly made medicine cat looked rather downtrodden and Tornado supposed she couldn't blame her. Not with all the risks Pitchstar listed off. Her own gaze falls momentarily before walking over to where Starling sat, aiming to give the molly a brief comforting brush of her tail before wrapping it around her own ebony paws.​

When I let it bother me, that's my problem​

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[PITCHSTAR]

his clanmates do not respond with cheer. their eyes seem downcast, brows furrowed in the beginning of worry. pitchstar scrapes his claws along the smooth stone surface of the clanrock. i have no other choice, he tells himself. if they don't do anything, they'll starve. the other clans wouldn't help them, and windclan? despite their alliance with the moor-dwellers, pitchstar hesitates to ask for assistance. his pride screams at him to solve this on his own; he isn't a kitten dependent on his mother's milk. he wouldn't go crawling to sootstar like he was.

pitchstar doesn't leave room to argue. taking a deep breath, he raises his voice once more. "we have one apprentice graduating today. ribbitpaw, step forwards." he waits for the young tom to do so. as soon as ribbitpaw stands before him, he begins the ceremony. "ribbitpaw, do you pledge your loyalty to shadowclan and swear to protect your clanmates, even at the cost of your life?" once more, he pauses. listens for an affirmation before continuing. "then by the powers invested in me, i give you your warrior name. ribbitpaw, from this moment on, you will be known as ribbitleap. shadowclan honors your compassion and patience."

"we also have a new face in our ranks, in need of a proper clan name. snail's shell, step forwards." he looks for the pregnant queen in the crowd, bitterness towards fate for dumping so many helpless cats on his doorstep. savior be damned, his clan was starving and he keeps taking in more mouths to feed. why do i allow it?

he's afraid of the answer, that he might have to admit he's not as strong as he wants to be.

"snail's shell, do you pledge your loyalty to shadowclan and swear to protect your clanmates, even at the cost of your life?" she isn't a graduating apprentice, but pitchstar still wants to hear her say it. he wants her to be bound to these words. "then by the powers invested in me, i give you your new name. snail's shell, from this moment on, you will be known as snailcurl." why not snailshell? well, he should be a little innovative, shouldn't he? "shadowclan honors your dedication and thoughtfulness."

one last ceremony to perform... "tornadokit, step forwards." he eyes the little she-kit in the crowd. she'd gotten off with a warning for sneaking out; she had been practically apprentice-aged, after all. but if he catches her by the thunderpath outside of a patrol, she'll be demoted back to the nursery quicker than she could blink. "from this day on, until you earn your warrior name, you will be known as tornadopaw. dewspider, you will be her mentor. i expect for you to pass on all that you know to tornadopaw."

and, finally... "betonyfrost." it's spoken in a snarl, lips curling back to reveal sharp teeth. "you assaulted my baby sister for doing nothing except trying to help you. and while you got what you deserved..." his tail lashes. not enough, it wasn't enough. halfshade had sliced open betonyfrost's snout, but it wasn't enough. "...you will still receive a proper punishment. until you prove that you can be trusted around your clanmates without unsheathing your claws against them at random, you will be treated as the threat that you are. you will sleep outside of the den, you will not be allowed to leave camp without a trusted warrior, and you will eat last. do you understand?"

[ @RIBBITPAW @Snailcurl. @Tornadokit @DEWSPIDER @betonyfrost
& activity shoutouts go to @CHILLEDGAZE. @STARLINGHEART . @betonyfrost @smogmaw @Halfshade !! thank you guys for your activity <3 ]​

 

[DEWSPIDER]

A part of him had been about to ignore much of this meeting in favor of resting some more for his routine nightly hunts. They are pleasant and quiet. But as time trails on his large ears pull forward and he listens to the voice of the leader. A new warrior. That one cat they let in because of sympathy he guesses. And then moving on a kit was being made into an apprentice. Then his name is called and his head lifts up. His eyes like bitter green daggers bore into Pitchstar for a moment. Thoughtfulness that no one can see before he snorts and averts his eyss to look at the kit that he has been given. Great. Someone to lag and drag him down. He doesn't like the idea one bit and yet he feels that if he does not accept it it will make him look weak.

Like he isn't competent enough to train some little kit. "Don't lag behind. There is no room for any failures at my side, kit." And he means that. He isn't the patient kind, he doesn't trust half the clan he has been with for moons. So he will keep an eye on this one to see if she even deserves to become a warrior of Shadowclan.​

 

[Tornadopaw]

If you don't like me, that's your problem

After Pitchstar's brief pause he rolls right into the next wave of various promotions. Two newly made warriors are given their names and within the midst of it all she hears her own name called next. Citrine eyes grow a fraction wider, surprised, yet stoaked all the same. Adrenaline coursed though her as she stood to her paws, nodding her thanks to the rosetted tabby perched upon his rock. Turning to face Dewspider as he gave fair warning, the girl's maw split into a lopsided grin. Finally, a challenge. His discretion did little to discourage her, if anything the laperm embraced it with a fierceness. "Failures not in my vocabulary." Now she could prove herself a worthy asset of shadowclan. ​

When I let it bother me, that's my problem​

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[RIBBITLEAP]

His heart is heavy.

Heavy as the brown tabby settles into the crowd. As he listens to Pitchstar's words, his directions to hunt from the carrionplace in search of rats big enough for ShadowClan to survive on. His heart is heavy, as he awaits what he knows is coming today.

His warrior ceremony.

Had he not realized until then, that he'd be all alone in this? Had he not realized, that he was now the oldest of apprentices - that no one like Batchirp had been held back extra moons, that no one other than Ribbitpaw was of graduation age?

He stands alone, as Pitchstar moves on to warrior ceremonies. He stands alone, when Leaping Toad should be beside him. When Ash should, too. Ribbitpaw continues to grow, as his brother and friend stay kits forever.

Are they watching? Are they watching from their place in the stars?

This should be a happy moment for him, for his mother - her son graduating to warriorhood. He tries to be happy, he really does.

"I do," Ribbitpaw answers, words carefully spoken - an attempt to keep his words from wavering, trembling. Happy, he tries to be.

The name he's given catches him off guard. He doesn't know what he expected - Ribbitfur, Ribbitheart, Ribbittail, something like that maybe? But the name he's given is beyond what he'd thought, causes his eyes to sting with tears threatening to form.

Ribbitleap.

His brother's name, in connection with his. Once inseparable, the two were. Now inseparable again, in his new name. With a nod to Pitchstar, Ribbitleap steps back for the ceremonies to move on. He scans the crowd for his mother, searching for her own reaction.

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[betonyfrost]

It is often that Betonyfrost would listen to these little meetings with only half an ear. Her mind would be otherwise occupied, never quite moving forwards or backwards, but circling like a rising hawk. She would cheer when appropriate, greet her clanmates by their new names on occasion, going off of what the crowd said more than Pitchstar's words.

Today is different.

Betonyfrost listens with her full attention, ears perked and eyes bright with focus. She doesn't cheer or stamp her paws when her new clanmates are welcomed and old ones renamed. She sits still and alert, face on Pitchstar.

Today is her day, after all.

Pitchstar gives Betonyfrost her punishment as if he can hurt her in any real way. Her poor heart is already shattered, and he fails to mention the fact that his little sister is an annoying little pest who should have kept away from Betonyfrost. She lifts her chin, not quite defiant, not quite brave enough for that, but a close enough approximation that her heart flutters like a trapped bird.

"I understand perfectly," Betonyfrost's voice is quiet. She feels like she could shake apart in front of everyone. Somehow, she doesn't.

Somehow, Betonyfrost bows far too low to be anything but deeply sarcastic, and upon rising says in a voice that is louder without being overwhelming, "Anything my impartial and fair leader wants. Your punishment fits my transgression, and I'm sure anyone who does something similar to any of our-- any one of the apprentices would see a similar punishment."

He only cares because she's his blood! Betonyfrost wants to shout instead, but doesn't have the heart to say it plain, He doesn't care about any one of us!​

shadowclan warrior | blue mackerel tabby | 15 moons | tags​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

chilledgaze nodded their head to their leader, giving him the stamp of approval he so seeked. as dangerous as it was, they couldn't pass over the possible opportunity of getting the clan fed. the risks were right there, but the reward was needed, and desperation sat on their throats like a hawk waiting to attack its prey. they needed this, no matter how dangerous. it just meant shadowclan needed to be better. to fight better, in order to hunt better. they would get through this. they would show all those fucks in the other clans just how much better shadowclan was.

and then the meeting continues. betonyfrost is given her punishment, and then has the gall to speak up. chilledgaze's numb demeanor is gone, and their fur prickles along their pelt before they stand up, stretching in what seemed like a lazy fashion, but it was far from. it was calculated. as they spun on the tips of their paws, they looked at betonyfrost with a cold smile on the face.

"you forget yourself, warrior. mind your tongue. i am the one who seeked your punishment. pitchstar is simply doing his job as leader to enforce it. we don't tolerate hitting from anyone."

bringing up poppypaw would be useless. but fuck, if no one was going to shut the fuck up about it–

"when it came to poppypaw, we all saw how she hit smogmaw first. she barely had a wound to be proud of. she is fine. she said so herself. and if it happened again, surely smogmaw would be punished. any of you would for attack any fucking clanmate. now, if you have a quarrel, darling, it is with me. not with pitchstar. i don't wanna hear a word about poppypaw and smogmaw's little incident again. got it? if you got an issue, surely you can fight me on it."

they purr threateningly, swaying their tail behind them before they lose their emotions, turning away and dipping their head to the rest of the clan.

"congratulations to those with new names. you will make fine additions to our clan. i'm going hunting."

with a final dull glance at betonyfrost, the deputy pushed past everyone and headed right out of the camp.

//out ! ic opinions of course <3
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[ NOBODY ELSE MATTERS, GIRL ]​

 

[✧ Snailcurl.]

I JUST LOVE YOUR PUPPYDOG EYES ​

snailcurl | 30 months | female | she/her | physically easy (heavily pregnant) | mentally medium | attack in bold pink​

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Snails Shell strides forward on confident paws, and despite how short and round she is she carries herself with the same confidence that has graced her figure since the moment she'd healed. "I do," she says plainly, voice strong - a challenge. As if daring him to change his mind. Pitchstar is admitting that she's one of them now after all - though she doesn't plan to betray that trust, the younger toms behavior certainly still irks her. Snailcurl a name like theirs - a warrior name. She dips her head respectfully, slipping back into the crowd that pools in the center of camp. she watches passively as others are called forwards, though she eyes betonyfrost with suspicion and wariness. If she can attack one of her clanmates, whom she must have lived with for moons now, Snail wonders if she might do the same to her - or heaven forbid her kits.

 

[smogmaw]

Smogmaw holds no qualms over the new policy regarding Carrionplace and the rats who call it home. There have been stretches of days during which the tom hadn't eaten even a morsel, and thus he's largely apathetic to where his food came from. So long as he can rest with a half-full belly, he'll view this development through a lens of indifference; that is, until someone inevitably becomes afflicted with a garbage-borne disease, and spends the remainder of their sorry days heaving bile in Starlingheart's cave. But they'll worry about that later.

Ceremonies come next, and each of them are heeded with a simple nod. It's a blessing to have another warrior in the midst, and curious to see Snail's Shell become a full-fledged ShadowClan cat, however his words are spared for an upcoming matter.

When he'd initially caught wind of Betonyfrost's alleged wrongdoing, it felt as though his heart skipped a beat. Nothing made his day quite like silencing an annoying brat, and it would seem that this luxury is something only he can escape blame for. Lilacpaw and Poppypaw met the same outcome over similar circumstances. Both of them fucked around, and - as it generally goes - both of them found out. How compelling it is for only Betony to endure the consequences. Perhaps with Bonejaw placing the blame on him for her defection, his higher-ups have recognised how inconvenient it'd be to find fault in his particular actions.

Dull eyes watch from the sidelines whilst the punished warrior has her little outrage, and flicker to the deputy as they rebut her argument. When Chilledgaze makes themselves scarce, Smogmaw enters in their stead. "Eating last, at a time when we're all hungry," he remarks with a cold inflexion, "I'd rather run off to RiverClan. And sleeping out in the cold?" He feigns a commiserative expression. "You ought'a use your brain next time, kit-hitter." ​

 

[FLICKERFIRE]

( : ̗̀➛ ) Flickerfire listens to the ceremonies with some level of boredom. Lead warriors are supposed to care, probably, but she just doesn't. Seems there's always new cats crowding their warrior's den, new kits becoming time-stealers, every time she blinks her eyes. The tortoiseshell does look at Ribbitleap with some interest; Geckoscreech's only remaining kit, finally grown, finally a warrior. She thinks of his twin, the dark-pelted, blue-eyed copy of him who died in the battle, and wonders if he's imagining Toad's Leap with him now.

She perks up as Pitchstar begins to talk about punishment, and she immediately knows what he's going to be talking about. Betonyfrost, who doesn't look the least bit cowed, bites back at their dear leader, and Chilledgaze flips their shit. The tortoiseshell nearly bounces with glee -- this is so much more interesting than ceremonies!

Smogmaw's kit-hitter comment causes her to burst into a fit of coyote-cackling laughter. She looks smugly at Betonyfrost and says, "Yeah, dummy, if you're gonna hit a kit, y'gotta hit the right ones. Y'don't hit the leader's sister, frogbrain." She searches for Poppypaw in the crowd, smiling wickedly. "Next time, pick Poppypaw, kit-hitter." The insult is so funny to her that she doesn't know if she can keep herself from saying it again. Somehow, she manages.​

( WELL I WON'T EVER CHANGE MY WAYS ; AND I CAN'T BE STRONG )

 

[GECKOSCREECH]

✦ HOLD YOURSELF BENEATH THE BRINE ✦​

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today was the special day.

geckoscreech could hardly care for whatever comes out of pitchstar's maw in the beginning and has grown to tune out the less important things but when it comes time for the warrior ceremony, her eyes light up just a little bit with pride. it's funny how quickly time flies by, it only felt like yesterday that he was only a wriggling little ball of fur curled at her belly alongside his brother.

the lead warrior's expression falters a bit.

that's right, leaping toad would've been right up there with him if he were still here. both her babies could've graduated from apprenticeship together but ribbitpaw stands up there alone and it causes her heart to squeeze painfully. after exchanging an i do, pitchstar finally bestows upon her son the name ribbitleap which also catches her by surprise. it took a few seconds for it to finally register before her eyes began to get glassy with tears.

after the ceremony is over, geckoscreech proceeds to ignore the rest of the meeting in order to get to ribbitleap who is met with loving head bump. "i'm so proud of you." her words are whispered, afraid that if she spoke any louder she'd end up becoming overwhelmed with emotion. ​

 

[betonyfrost]

Of course Chilledgaze needs to say something to her. They cannot give her the kindness of reciprocation, and they cannot miss a chance to hurt her. Betonyfrost wishes for the sort of simplicity that only Chilledgaze can offer and burns with the type of resentment that can only come from love.

Betonyfrost speaks after their retreating form, and hopes that currently held resentment outweighs the barefaced longing in her voice, "Surely I could."

Sometimes, she feels as though she must. It seems to be the only way to get Chilledgaze near her.

But whether it was Chilledgaze's or Pitchstar's desire to make Betonyfrost into an outcast-- the effect still feels very much the same. She notices the wary eyes on her, and couldn't not notice the jeers from Smogmaw and Flickerfire, who seem more critical of her chosen recipient of violence than they are the outburst itself.

"So untouchable," Betonyfrost whispers back, not keen to get into even more trouble, "But how long will that last?"

When was the time that Betonyfrost would have taken insults on the chin without doing more than silently agreeing with whatever is said to her? Betonyfrost stares at Flickerfire and Smogmaw both, eyes narrowed, and thinks the terrible thought that she is somehow better than them. She doesn't know where it has come from and isn't keen to think about it. She just knows, deep in her very core, that despite herself being the very worst, somehow this marsh has managed to spit out two who are more unpleasant and awful than her.

Why had Betonyfrost ever worried about their approval?​

shadowclan warrior | blue mackerel tabby | 15 moons | tags​

 

[Halfshade]

The announcement that they were to go to the carrionplace now and risk being nibbled on by those nasty rats as they hunted their grotesque little bodies for prey was met with a quiet sigh of resigned displeasure. Halfshade would not complain, given she was coming to this meeting after a very poor hunting trip with one measly little mouse to add to the pile. It was probably fortunate that Poppypaw was out with her mentor or she would have fully derailed the entire meeting causing a fuss over being so tartgeted-that kit could do to yell less perhaps; terribly loud little apprentice.
The bicolor queen raised her plume of a tail up to strut into the gathered cats, noting that it seemed she did not miss much outside a ceremony for Ribbitpaw (Ribbitleap she heard uttered among the crowd) and Betonyfrost being called out for her nonsense from before. How delightful!

"What's all this whispering? Are we telling fun secrets~? I have one-" The torbie rounds on the other she-cat with a polite smile but there's no mistaking the flicker of judgemental disgust in her gaze as she moves along forward before dropping her voice low where she now stood near Flickerfire and Smogmaw, "-I found a delightful little mud hole, why...a cat could just vanish entirely if they slipped into it I warrant." Her smile brightened considerably as if she really did just share an innocuous and pleasant secret rather than a guarded threat to the ash-colored cat she felt not even worth lining their dens with her pelt should she one day end up a surprising little corpse in a muddy pit. Quite frankly their deputy could do with growing a more substantial backbone, but she supposed the naivity of youth and forced importance could excuse it this early on; she expected improvement from them though eventually. A cat like Betonyfrost was about as useful to have around as a tick on the tail, parasitic and draining.
"Is he going to say anything else or shall we all have ourselves a little hunting party? I've had poor luck on my own." Her tail flicked out, she turned fully back to the morose molly and offered Flickerfire and Smogmaw her amused expression.

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