sensitive topics we're all ghosts - crying

[REDHEART]

OOC; take's place after Venomstrike's injury. /CW/ depression, starvation and grieving

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Exhaustion enveloped the apprentice as he slumped into his disheveled nest.

The nerves of the earlier mishap shook the Somali to their very core. He knew Venomstrike was strong and okay, but guilt robbed the youth of any comfort. Despite Redpaw's talent for projecting a cheerful and inquisitive exterior to the world, the solitude of his nest permitted the accumulated weight of the day's stress to infiltrate his very core. It clung to him like a shroud of melancholy, causing his once-vibrant green eyes to lose their brilliance. Hunger, too, gnawed at his body, tormenting their stomach.

Pain, as parched and acrid as the memories of his cries in twilight's solitude, jabbed at Redpaw's throat. Weak. Hungry. Bastard. Abruptly, he lurched forward within his nest, tears streaming from the corners of his tightly squeezed eyes. They seared his cheeks, pulling him deeper into the abyss of festering emotions. Each tear acted as a reminder of every misstep, painful memory, and disdainful glare that clouded his vision. Desperately, he swiped at his face, smudging dirt, moss, and grime across both paws and muzzle as he wept.

Redpaw might not have been the most intellectually gifted cat, but his heart was not devoid of emotion. He often brushed off the judgmental stares and venomous words thrown his way, yet he couldn't evade the relentless internalization of the encounters. Slowly but persistently, he stacked the anguishing experiences and perceived injustices, engaging in a precarious balancing act. A single misstep on this emotional tightrope could send the entire structure crashing down, either crushing him beneath its weight or propelling him in the opposite direction with merciless force.

Gradually, the muffled cries subsided, giving way to more measured and controlled breathing. Soon, the other apprentices would begin to file in, and Redpaw didn't want to be caught. Hailing from Kittypet blood meant he had much more to prove and many more scrutinizing eyes on him. If his ceremony was any indication, the small, ruddy feline knew that the challenges beyond clan borders would be even tougher. For now, he had to endure the hardships and summon his strength, even if his heart weighed heavily, and his mind was besieged by unwanted thoughts.

Outside of hunting, working, and caring for the sick, there was little time for personal concerns.

I'm not important right now. Their inner voice echoed back the stress, quelling the impending wave of more tears. Swallowing harshly, he rolled into his nest, curling up. Nose tucked tightly beneath his feathery tail, ears flattened, and paws out of sight. It was time to silence the turmoil within and find solace in the embrace of sleep. Except, unbeknownst to Redpaw, there was another presence in the den approaching.​

 

[BLUEFROST]

Redpaw is only a whisker’s-length into his apprenticeship, a milk-wet kit stumbling past the nursery, but when Bluepaw looks over and sees him shaking with sobs in his nest, her eyes begin to glitter with dislike. What did this outsider kit have to cry about, she thinks, her thoughts black as obsidian. I lost my father and I do not show such disgusting weakness. What right does he have? What right? Her fur stays smooth on her neck, her shoulders, and her expression is more or less passive… but for those narrow green eyes, those eyes that are palpably full of malice.

“What are you crying for?” Her tone is sharp and deadpan all at once. “Were you injured or something?” They are all hungry, she wants to shriek. They are all sad and perpetrated upon by godless rogues. I bet one of those disgusting creatures is his parent. Dropped off at a Clan border. How pathetic.

ooc ✧ 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝒸𝑒𝒶𝓃'𝓈 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈

• ic opinions only, i'm sorry she's also depressed and a bully </3
•  
• 

  — bluekit . bluepaw
  — she/her, apprentice of windclan
  — bisexual ; single
  — long-haired blue she-cat with white and green eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — art by Meg

​

 

[FOGBOUND]

your entire existence gives me a headache, go stand over there .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

He hadn’t been paying that much attention to the sniffles when passing by until Bluepaw’s voice sparked his curiosity to peek, raising a brow at the stinging words. He didn’t find anything wrong with the apprentice’s words because really they didn’t need another injured cat walking around with some hero complex and if they were even more of an idiot than he thought to let it fester into something fatal.

Fogbound barely shook his helm, annoying filtering behind a ruby gaze, but he offered some comfort although it really was never his strong suit, no matter how much he talked. “If you're injured then take it to Wolfsong.” He commented with a jerk of his helm. “Otherwise, if it’s a matter of the heart, then—” He tutted. “Try not to flood everyone with your tears, if you’re still troubled, then take a walk.” He mused with an elegant shrug of bulky shoulders. And stop disturbing everyone. He thought deadpan, ready to pull away, not before adding with a pucker of his lips, “I won’t offer again, but I wouldn’t be appalled if you joined.” With that, he left the two apprentices to their devices, uncaring of what happened. ​

​

thought speech​

 

[RABBITCLAW]

To be honest she is similar to Bluepaw, yet here she is sticking her nose out for someone who she doesn't even know and will not know because of their status as a moor runner apprentice. Rabbitclaw herself doesn't cry and refuses to cry, to show weakness in front of others. The less somecat gave to another, the less they could be hurt by others. In this case if Redpaw cried somewhere more private, then Bluepaw and Fogbound wouldn't be cruel to him. There's always gonna be a cat who wants the worse for ya. She had been minding her own business, until she saw Fogbound's massive rump in the distance padding over to the apprentice den. It was then that she remembered she was not done with insulting him for something he had said to her not too long ago. She'll be dammed if she ever let that man think she would back down. If he ever dared to lay a claw on her, then he would be met with claws right back. No matter how massive he was compared to her small and skinny frame, she is not weak and will never bow to him.

It is when she draws near that she hears Bluepaw and Fogbound's words. She's unable to get a word out to Fogbound, but as soon as he turned he would be met with a glare and a huff. Harsh much? And you wonder why I fight with you. It's none of her business she knows, but she enters the apprentice den and Redpaw's sobs are louder. When she looks at him, the first thought is this: Pathetic. She cares little about breaking the norms here and maybe she's a bit dull when it comes to these matters. Rabbitclaw herself is not one for comforting another. "Alrighty, let's seeeeeeee. I spy two kits here. One's weeping and the other looks like she can be doing something better with her time. Hmmm who to pick."

She makes her way to Redpaw and looms over his slumped form. Without any warning she nudges him with her paw, "Get up. I pick you. I got a super important mission only you can do, so up and at 'em Redpaw. I promise it's something totally amazing~" In truth she was making up an excuse. Her only goal was to drag Redpaw out of his nest and take him somewhere to cry and pick some flowers to bring to his mentor.​

 

[REDHEART]

Embarrassment raced like lightning through the Somali's veins, searing his pride. Gently, he lifted his head, locking eyes with the unforgiving gaze of Bluepaw.

Vulnerability had caught him off guard, leaving him breathless. Instead of protesting, he embraced the silence, rising with a rigid grace to wipe away the mess on his muzzle.

Despite the swirling anxiety, he responded with icy bluntness, a stark departure from his usual self. "No, and why do I owe you an explanation?" The question, though seemingly rhetorical, harbored a genuine undercurrent. He allowed an uglier side of himself to mimic the she-cat's sharp retort. His usually kind and soft maw crinkled by gnarled irritation.

Weary of the situation, he spared only a fleeting glance for the approaching tabby, then did a double-take. White-hot humiliation washed over him, far fiercer than the current encounter. His legs wobbled like gelatin, and angular head weighed ten fold. Each word felt like a metaphorical dagger to their gut and a resounding slap to the face.

Needle-like fangs ground together absently, and his brow furrowed. Marking the first time someone had been so indifferent to him, save for the events leading to joining the clan. This immediate offense from the others cut deep.

Summoning empty strength, he took short shallow breaths, heart gradually calming, and humiliation subsiding. Whatever. An unfamiliar sensation gnawed at his stomach. Fogbound's sneering tone grated on his ears, unwelcome and abrasive.

Though the tears had ceased, the rawness remained, and green eyes burned with the aftermath. Defeat evident in the glance he shot after Fogbound's retreating form.

Against the cold words thrown his way, Redpaw recognized it as cruel at best, and chose to ignore them both. Fighting back the tears threatening to break free, refusing to let them flow. His outburst came to an idefinate end with an unexpected interruption at his side. Surprised and teary-eyed, he swallowed hard.

Rising to all fours, they brushed away the remaining tears, stained cheeks waving in agreement as he nodded at Rabbitclaw. Their throat and heart ached, preventing him from speaking. Awkwardly, he stole a glance back at Bluepaw, searching for her reaction.​

 

[BLUEFROST]

Bluepaw gives Fogbound a look of approval, which bleeds into satisfaction upon regarding Redpaw again. The other apprentice's face pulls taut with anger at their blatant disapproval of his tears, his tone as blunt as her own. She does not understand the impulse to be visibly emotional; in her opinion, it's akin to using the dirtplace right in the middle of camp. Such things are to be done in private and quietly, in shame. "You owe me an explanation for having to look at it and listen to it," she says, her voice lazily devoid of emotion.

The three of them are interrupted by Rabbitclaw, a tunneler Bluepaw more or less respects. She flicks an ear at the warrior's suggestion. Such things are game for kits, in her opinion, but it does dry Redpaw's tears. His auburn face cautiously pulls Bluepaw's direction, testing the waters of her opinion.

She rises, giving her lovely thick fur a gentle shake. "Well, you heard her. I am sure this is something only you are capable of, so I shall leave you to it." Her voice is hard with scorn and smug amusement. She knows Rabbitclaw is appeasing him like a kit crying for his mother's milk—but what does it matter to her? She pads away, her tail lifted high behind her.

ooc ✧ 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝒸𝑒𝒶𝓃'𝓈 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈

• out!

• 

• 

  — bluekit . bluepaw
  — she/her, apprentice of windclan
  — bisexual ; single
  — long-haired blue she-cat with white and green eyes
  — "speech", thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — art by Meg

​