private WHAT IS AND WHAT CANNOT BE — stormywing

[iciclefang]

“…Stormywing?”

Night drapes like wingshadow over her marbled tortoiseshell pelt as she slips through the reeds once again. There’s a robust scent that thickens and squirms on her tongue, alive as an insect, warm and inviting to her as the choicest bite of trout. A black-splashed tail swishes behind guarded pawsteps; she feels as though she’s dancing in time with some out-of-reach tune, some note to a song sung on another plane, in another forest she cannot travel to. Ferngill’s incredulity still burns under her fur, but she has come again regardless, helpless in the face of her lover’s magnetism. Blue slits burn against the cold light of the moon, against the way the stars wash up against the shoreline.

But, as always, thank the stars, she spots her. She spots her, and she breaks away from her own territory, letting her paws crunch into foreign pebbles, leaden foreign sand. Her muzzle touches Stormywing’s and electricity shoots from their noses to the tips of her paws. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she murmurs. She drops into a sitting position, putting space between them that her heart wants to fill again. “Ferngill… he’s onto us. He knows, Stormywing. He caught me when I was going back to camp last time.”

Her heart pounds beneath this admission, heavy in her mouth like the mating stone she’d carried to ThunderClan territory. Shame, too, begins to singe the skin beneath her fur. “I… I need to be more careful, but I don’t know what else I could possibly do.” She meets her lover’s golden gaze with certainty. “I miss you so much when I’m not here. I… I just wish…” She trails off—as ever, her wishes go unheard, splintered in the face of a reality she cannot adhere to.

[ @STORMYWING ]

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[STORMYWING]

☁︎

"Iciclefang!" The reply comes, breathless and excited, the way her mate always makes her feel. She sees the beautiful tortoiseshell weave through the river reeds, graceful as a shadow. She is less fluent in her movements - where Iciclefang slips and saunters, Stormywing scampers and skids, flinging pebbles wayward as she approaches. Her loud purr greets her lover first as their muzzles press together, the RiverClanner's brook-soaked whiskers dampening the tabby's cheek.

Her ears twitch as Iciclefang sits a tail-length away from her, worry heavy in her voice when she tells her that Ferngill knows. Golden eyes blow wide in shock, "He won't tell, right? He's...my friend, maybe he'll listen, like-" She pauses and swallows, guilt and shame creeping into her own features. "Lightstrike caught me, too. B-but he promised not to say anything! Our secret's safe with him, trust me." Her friend would never betray her!

Shame morphs into a grimace of pain as her mate continues to speak, talking of wishes and Stormywing dips her head. "I know." Her gaze dips, breaking away from the other's blue momentarily. "I know it's risky, but I have to see you." Suddenly, it seems as if a realization has hit her. She perks up, looking back at the tortoiseshell and trilling, "Oh! I almost forgot!" She scampers back closer to the boulders of Sunningrocks where she had dropped her prize in her haste to reach her lover on the shoreline. When she returns, she deposits a smooth gray stone at her white paws and straightens herself with a giant cheeky grin. "It's a - what's it called? - mating stone. Like you RiverClanners do! I told ya I'd get you something better!" Upon closer inspection, she would find the rock has a blueish sheen to it - when she'd first laid eyes on it, it had reminded her of the sapphire gaze of her love. Puffing out her chest, she waits to see her reaction to the gift.

I WANNA TASTE LOVE AND PAIN ☁︎

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[iciclefang]

Stormywing’s approach is less graceful, signified by the patter of her paws crunching against the pebbly earth, debris flying as she scampers toward the water’s edge. Iciclefang’s chest warms, as it always does when she locks eyes with her lover—even as shock widens them into golden discs, Stormywing retains optimism. The tortoiseshell’s eyelids slip over her blue eyes, a tentative smile returning to her white-blazed muzzle. “Ferngill won’t tell.” She remembers the surprise thick on her brother’s tongue, like moss coating the roots of a willow tree. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Lightstrike caught me, too. B-but he promised not to say anything! Our secret’s safe with him, trust me,” Stormywing says. Iciclefang’s heartbeat quickens, missteps from fear. “Lightstrike?” She remembers round golden shoulders, a fierce expression, his bulk keeping Stormywing warm in the close confines of the rockslid cavern. She flicks her tail uncertainly. “If he tells… I’ll lose everything. So I hope you’re right.” She sighs. “Smokestar was my mentor. I know he wouldn’t stand for a cat on his council taking a ThunderClan mate.” And can she blame him? Would she have stood for it, had it been anyone but her—but her, and Stormywing?

Shame unites the pair for another lingering moment, but then Stormywing’s expression brightens. She skids off back toward Sunningrocks, searching for something in the darkness. Iciclefang watches her, bemused but patient. When the tabby returns, there’s something smooth and gray clutched between her teeth. She deposits it proudly between Iciclefang’s paws. It’s a stone—a mating stone, Stormywing says. “Oh,” she murmurs, her voice softening, almost whispery. She leans closer to the object and presses her nose to the surface. It’s smooth as glass, as ice, and in the moonlight, it wears a bluish shine. It’s small, but to Iciclefang, the gesture means everything.

When she lifts her blue gaze back to Stormywing’s golden one, she’s glowing. “I can put it in my nest, and when I touch it, I’ll think of you,” she whispers. “It will be like… like a piece of you is always with me.” She straightens, leaning closer into her mate’s embrace. “Thank you,” she purrs. “I’ll cherish it… along with the oak leaf, of course!”

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[STORMYWING]

☁︎

Stormywing holds her breath, anticipation suffocating her before Iciclefang touches the gift softly. She likes it! The tabby beams, a warm blush lightly touching her ivory cheeks. It would be like a piece of you is always with me. She smirks slightly and presses herself even closer to the tortoiseshell. “Yours is in my nest, too. It’s kinda like we’re curled up together each night, like in the mountains.” The thought is nice…she likes to imagine it often, a black and ginger pelt pressed close to her in the warrior’s den, their tails intertwined.

Her golden eyes flick to the ground, a more serious tone in her voice when she murmurs, “Do you ever imagine what it might be like if we were in the same clan? Like…we’d get to patrol together. Maybe train our apprentices together. Spend every day together.” Her heart pinches with grief, like she’s mourning something that never even was. She’s mourning what could’ve been, if things were different. What if Iciclefang had been born in ThunderClan instead? What if, stars forbid, Stormywing had joined RiverClan, if that’s where her uncle had been? The latter is a thought she can’t even consider, it seems far too blasphemous, but the former…it’s something she wishes could be true. “I don’t know…maybe we’d even have kits.” It comes as a hushed whisper. She peeks up at her mate to see her reaction, hoping she doesn’t get a cuff over the ear for saying such a thing.

I WANNA TASTE LOVE AND PAIN ☁︎​

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[iciclefang]

She allows herself to imagine the curve of Stormywing’s body curled around the little stone Iciclefang had gifted her, and then she puts herself there in its place. Protected, warm, the scent of her mate’s oak-laden fur filling her nostrils as she shifts in a nest ringed with bracken and reeds. She closes her eyes, letting the sensation of her mate’s pelt bristling against her own push thoughts of Clan infidelity away. She can be loyal to RiverClan while being loyal to her heart—she chants it inwardly, a mantra she will believe in the more she says it to herself.

“I miss those days more than I ever thought I would,” she murmurs. She lets her tail snake out, twine with Stormywing’s, like they had when the mountain peaks had clawed into the belly of the sky, like they had when their paws gripped pine bark as the tree bristled around their bodies. Stormywing begins to speak—to ramble, wishes pouring from her mouth. Do you ever imagine what it might be like if we were in the same Clan? The tortoiseshell huffs, amused. “Of course I do, minnow-brain…” Her nose dips into gray tabby fur, and she lets herself linger there for a moment before withdrawing.

I don’t know… maybe we’d even have kits.

Iciclefang jerks her head up, surprise flaring in her crystalline eyes. Kits. It’s a future she’d never imagined for herself—no, with Ashpaw, she’d been the protector. She’d be the provider, the one bringing fresh-kill to the ginger she-cat’s nest while she recovered from some mishap or another. With Stormywing, though… she thinks of Mudpelt and Icesparkle, their bodies intertwined, kits playing at their paws.

“That can never happen,” she murmurs, and more sadness than she can hold onto spills into her words.

She would never have that future—not with Stormywing, and if she couldn’t have it with her, she didn’t want it with anybody.

In an effort to drive the sorrow from their conversation, Iciclefang tries for a smile. It’s customary for her—dry and tight, etched across her features with wry stiffness. “But okay, I’ll bite. Let’s keep playing the ‘what if’ game,” she mews. She inches a bit closer, her breath pluming in front of her. “What would you want to name them—if we could? Would you want a little Stormkit running around?” Her smile slips into something almost whimsical, an indulgent mind filling in the shape of a blue tabby kitten clumsily padding about her paws.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Iciclekit . Iciclepaw . Iciclefang, she/her w/ feminine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 20 moons old, ages realistically on the 17th.
  — mentored by Smokestar ; mentoring Cicadapaw ; previously mentored n/a
  — riverclan lead warrior. mudpelt x icesparkle, gen 2.
  — currently mated to Stormywing.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh tortoiseshell and white she-cat with ice-blue eyes. confident, capable, proud, dry, conceited, condescending, distrustful.
  
  

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[STORMYWING]

☁︎

That can never happen. The words hurt more than they should. Not because of any way Iciclefang said it, and not because she shouldn't have said it - because it's true! - but...it hurts to be brought back down to earth. As she's grounded in reality, she presses closer to the tortoiseshell, shoving her nose into her neck to breathe in her salty scent. It is a fantasy that will only exist in her dreams...to be with her every day and start a family. It's a future she never really thought about or wanted. Not until Iciclefang.

When her mate gives into her probing, she visibly perks up, ears pressing forward and eyes glittering with joy. "A Stormkit would be pretty cool," She admits with a smirk, teeth flashing in amusement at the thought. "Alright, if you've got a Stormkit, then I've got an Icykit. Or...maybe just Icekit, I dunno. Cantcha see it - a little tortoiseshell she-kit just like you." She playfully pushes her with her shoulder, a grin on her face.

She leans back so that she's laying on the ground now, her tail flicking against the sand as she thinks. "Oh, you know what a good one would be? Pinekit. It would remind me of the tree we climbed together for the very first time. Or- or Mountainkit, or Snowkit...the best place in the world." She blinks dreamily up at the night sky, and for a moment she's brought back in time. She's surrounded by icy cliffs peaked with snow. She has lungwort in her jaws, and at night, when it's dark and no one can quite see, she is curled up next to Iciclefang, their pelts brushing and igniting her body so she could stay warm all night long.

"Oh! You know what would be cooler?! Something like Strikekit," She sits up with a jolt at the new idea, all romance snapped from the air as her foolishness takes hold. Because their kits would be the coolest, most awesome kits ever, and they'd have awesome names to show it. "Or like- like Boltkit. 'Cause they'd be super fast, you know? Or like- or like, Firekit, or Tornadokit, or-" Her rambling continues, for once she's gotten started, it's hard to get her to stop.

I WANNA TASTE LOVE AND PAIN ☁︎

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