private WHAT WE LIVE FOR ♡ Pikesplash

[Petalnose]

It seemed dark times had a heavy grip on Petalnose's paws. She had responsibilities and they grew in importance during these times. Even if she had time to relax, she spent it to continue to be efficient. The lead warrior was determined to bring her clan back to some normalcy and continue routine. Most of every cat was doing the same, at least she had hoped. Any sauntering she hadn't tolerated and set forth a job. The colony cats still learning and adapting hadn't made her aching head any better. She was happy Snakeblink was set forth to the task of instructing upon rules. Stars knew she would lose her patience within the blink of an eye.

A trout hung from her jaws, gently setting it upon the pile. A gleam of pride sparked within her, a sign of normalcy was enough to strike some positivity into her grief-stricken mood. On sore muscles, she stiffly bounded in the direction of her clanmates cleaning the last of camp. However, a familiar silver pelt was spotted which had caused her to pause. "Pikesplash." She greeted, deciding against filling her schedule once more. Since her promotion, she had remembered how distant the tom was for a period of time. Although, unknown tensions had seemed to clear; they continued to pass meows and looks within meetings and patrols. Still, they both were still more distant than before. The sight of him had reminded her of such, a curious raise of her chin. "I haven't talked to you in a while. How are you fairing?" A turn to face him; an advance and chance of interaction. She noted the injuries upon him, hearing of the courageous act set forth during the invasion. In all honesty, it was nearly hard for her to believe.. especially if she was too blinded by her own blood flow and rage to notice. She wondered if the new responsibility of an apprentice upon him was a reward for such behavior.

@PIKESPLASH

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[PIKESPLASH]

Pikesplash has been busy with his new apprentice Nettlepaw along with his warrior duties, but things are starting to slow down now. He's grateful that he's getting more time to himself and those of the Ripple Colony while clumsy in their own ways seem to be helping. Riverclan had lost so many cats, so having extra paws was a life saver. Oh, he remembered being so exhausted and starving. Don't get him wrong he's tired, but it's more manageable than before. Today he gave Nettlepaw a break to do whatever he wanted, while he thought of training for the light colored tom. He's far too caught up in his thoughts he fails to notice Petalnose bounding to him. When she calls his name he takes a moment to turn and face her with a hum.

It has been awhile since they've talked and he is reminded that it was started with him. When she was promoted he kept her distance from her, worrying about Cicadastar leading the clan down a blood thirsty path. However, no such thing had come to pass. Instead, the clans were plagued with illness and then the issue with the rogues... Needless to say it has been very hectic that he didn't have time to talk to her about things. Still, it didn't sit right with him not to apologize to her for keeping his distance from her.

The inquiry is expected. There is one problem with the way she asked though "Oh, u-uhmm, so I know you asked me that thinking it'll be easy, but that's a loaded question." It's kinda funny, Snakeblink asked me how I felt and wasn't prepared for me to say what I said to him. This is Petal though, so she wouldn't be too bothered, right? I hope anyway. A forepaw is brought to his neck and rubs against the fur out of nervousness. "Well, I guess... I am doing better? Snakeblink checked in and me and gave me reassurances and a new goal. I am happy that Catfishleap is now a warrior. Smokethroat assigning Nettlepaw to me was surprising, but he's the first apprentice I'll have that wasn't a transfer from another mentor. I am excited and want to do everything I can for him. My injuries have healed up nicely, not all of them are gone, but I'm not too sad about that. Otterpaw has also made me proud and I'm sure he's going to be a nice warrior." He's rambling at this point. Then again, so much has happened since the last time they talked. Plenty of catching up would need to be done. Although, it might have been peculiar for Petalnose to hear him speak of Snakeblink. It was clear that they were friends, but the depth of their relationship had to be understood.

Green eyes narrow and a forepaw rests on the ground once more. "I'm sorry for avoiding you. I was happy when you were promoted. I was just worried you were being used and that Cicadastar was only concerned with power. I worried that Riverclan would be become blood thirsty, and it scared me. You know how much I hate fighting. If Riverclan became a war hungry clan that would've been my worst nightmare." She had every right to be upset at him. To cuff him for distancing himself from her for such a stupid reason because in the end Riverclan became none of those things and was instead driven out by rogues. She might even comment that whether or not he liked fighting he still gave his life to this clan and even bore scars as a result.

It would take awhile for him to accept and comes to terms with the fact that he was not as useless as he thought of himself as. Snakeblink saw something in him and helped him move forward with a new goal. He was going to change into someone he could be proud of. Step by step he would get there someday. I'm selfish. I know that. I am dependent on others so much and while it's not bad to depend on other's sometimes, I can't keep doing this forever. Petalnose I am going to be extremely selfish in the next second and if you decide to hate me, then that's okay. To her, it would seem he was struck with a burst of confidence. Where was the nervous Pikesplash she had known? "I spoke with Snakeblink, Petalnose. I told him I don't think I belong here, there's no place for me here. I even told him maybe it would be better if Riverclan didn't have someone like me around. To be honest, I'm not sure why Smokethroat or Cicadastar haven't thrown me out. Snakeblink told me that there's a place for me here and I have to find it. He also said other nice things about me which I don't believe yet, but that's not the point. Petalnose for the longest time even before we got to know each other, I was always counting the days I was alive."

That suddenly took a nosedive. Although it is clear that Pikesplash himself is not saddened by the admission. He had enough time to grovel in those thoughts. Before she had the chance to tell him off he continued, "I'm still surprised I'm here. Anyway, my new goal Petalnose is to find my own place in Riverclan and become someone better. Safe to say I'll make even dumber decisions and I want you to cuff me for them. Don't be soft on me. Please. I hope you won't be afraid of what I'll turn into."​

 

[Petalnose]

Petalnose supposed she wasn't exactly ready for the waterfall dumped upon her, taking a seat with a brow quirked in curiosity. Dry she expected him to be, she even wondered for their own friendship for how distant they both were. Aspenhaze had known her for a little less than when she had first met Pikesplash, still they had more interaction- more time alone even with her busy schedule. With their opposing personalities, it wouldn't surprise her. Petalnose at first was a judgemental presence and then outright hostile the first interactions they had. If she scared Pikesplash off she wouldn't flinch in surprise, she was more surprised how they got along. Opposites attracted, right?

Despite the judgemental squint upon her face she was silent when he spoke. Snakeblink had seemed to get along with many, atleast, he had tried to. She recalled her own talks with him and even a time where she had hit him and he merely joked it off. Pikesplash talking to the him she didn't think would be unheard of, a slow nod made in note as he went on.

A goal. A new apprentice. His injuries. His son. She wasn't sure how to respond to the outburst of information in the first place. However, the goal had made curiosity glaze into her eyes.

Then his reasoning for distancing. She narrowed her eyes more, a response attempting to circulate within her mind but she didn't speak it. Riverclan had come to losses and forced to expose their bellies. With Cicadastar's call to her promotion, she was determined to help counteract them. If blood thirsty and war hungry made them successful and lose less, she'd be fine with the title. Petalnose had proved she could lead without physical force however; she threw strategy and wits into the beavers which had proven successful. She knew her claws were not worth it in that situation. Petalnose had hoped Pikesplash had known that. Her title didn't always involve claws and teeth and so didn't some situations and she had learned that the hard way.

His next statements had made her stiffen, brows creasing forward. She had not liked the news, she didn't like how he felt. Although, she couldn't help but understand. The way Smokethroat seemed to look upon him, including the majority of their clanmates, it wasn't positive. Even she was guilty of seeing him as weak and anxious, incapable of performing duties that involved danger.

Pikesplash seemed to lighten the topic, uplifting her mood more, responding with a rapid blink. Pikesplash changing? She was certain that wasn't to come, at least not in a way he willfully wanted.

It was now her time to talk and she took a long pause, even if she had a extended period to think of a response during the downpour. She stifled a laugh, her expressions lightening in crows feet tucked at the creases of her eyes. "When have I ever been soft on you, Pikesplash?" She joked with a roll of her eyes, "Since I first met you I was harsh. I still bully you playfully. I see you've already been learning how to defend yourself from me without a worry." A honest point with a chuckle before she quickly reverted to a calm exterior. "But on serious note, I am proud of you Pikesplash. However, why do you think I'll fear it? You see what I get into willfully. All in all, I'll still be here. Even if you learn to hate me."

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[PIKESPLASH]

It was hard not to miss her attempting to stifle her laughter. He was grateful that she managed to do and didn't insult him for the downpour he unleashed on her. When the first response is met with a gab, he finds himself breaking into laughter. The silver tom laughs so hard that tears begin to well up and they are jovial ones. She does have a point. When they had first met it had been awful. She had misunderstood and was cruel to him. He harbored no hatred, understanding that she didn't have all the pieces of the story and the rumor that spread was nasty about her. "Oh please, you're being soft on me now!" You've soft on me many times, I don't know if you've noticed that yourself. "There's not much to defend myself from. I know you wouldn't hurt me unless I deserved it. Even then, I'd forgive you." How dare he call her soft twice and then have the gall to say she couldn't just reach forward and cuff him for saying she wouldn't lay a paw on him.

"Hate you? Why would I ever hate you? I love you, Petalnose." There is no hesitation, it's as if she had asked him the dumbest question know to catkind. Although, he may have come off too strong there and as to not cause her panic... "Not in the way Aspenhaze does, don't worry. It isn't like that." He highly doubts that Petalnose would take his words as a confession, but it was better to nip it in the bud even if it turned out harmless. She should know anyway, if he truly had any problems with Aspenhaze he would've made it known and if he harbored any romantic feelings then he would've fought long ago for her affection. Anyway, this is not the point.

It is relieving to know that she is proud of him and is not turning her back on him despite how terrible he's been to her. She does have a point and he finds himself being exposed in the same manner as Snakeblink. He was pretty smug about it I'll get him back for that. Can't believe him, that dork. The audacity. He chuffs at the memory. "What you said. M-means a lot to me. And why I said you might fear it is because I d-dunno..." This is kind of hard to explain without sounding weird. A forepaw is brought to his neck and begins rubbing at the fur there. "When you look at me you probably think that cat's super soft he wouldn't hurt a fly. But, I do get upset Petalnose. It scares and disgusts me. Being upset is normal I know that, but I feel like my level of upset that I hide isn't good." What isn't good is him toeing around the truth. Telling her like this is not only confusing but maybe making it out worse than it actually is.

"I dunno if wanting to gut someone graphically for hurting someone you care about and I'm talking a little scratch is normal. A-a-and that time! When Cicadastar reprimanded me, I wanted to kill him and make him beg for mercy. Ugh, he's dead now that probably wasn't something good to say. I just! Really! Am violent. I don't like it though." If Petalnose were to tell on him for admitting that he thought about killing Cicadastar for calling him soft because of his kittypet blood, then that was fair. It was deserved. Funny enough if she asked if he hated their former leader he wouldn't say no nor could he say yes. It was just complicated. He just hated Cicadastar for bringing his blood into this and shaming him for who he was. Otherwise, Cicadastar wasn't too bad. Simply put out of all his friends, he has been quite the liar and one might question just how much do they know about him. Only Petalnose knew more about him and she was only scraping the surface of who he was.

 

[Petalnose]

Oh, please you're being soft on me now.

A huff of frustration left her, creasing her brows as she stood to her paws in tensed muscles. "Then what do you want me to do!? Smack you in the face every time I see you? I'm not being soft, Pikesplash, I'm being a friend! You're misunderstanding my character. What friend would I be if I wasn't nice to you at all?" she hissed, rolling her eyes, "If you keep that up, you'll deserve something. You're playing with fire." An irritated twitch of her tail was accompanied by her sudden twist in behavior, raising her paw in warning. The insulting word was enough to spark her flames alight.

However, the next words made her pause, gazing over Pikesplash carefully. Such words were never spoken and Petalnose wasn't exactly sure how to respond to it. His second statement made her blink in surprise, flaring her nostrils, "An idiot you are to think I'd assume that!" she hissed once more, a clawless swing of her paw aimed at his shoulder. "The feeling is mutual. Platonically." Never would she think of betraying Aspenhaze, the loyalty had remained to them solo. Even if it had meant she did develop feelings for another. It was harmless to most, but to her it had been offensive to bring up. Pikesplash had seemed to fill the gaping hole of the loss of her littermate, even more than that seemed odd to entertain. Pikesplash was a brother to her; family, which she hadn't had for many moons.

Silent she fell to listen to him explain, leaning forward as to urge him on. It seemed as if he thought she would grow startled, a humored expression beginning to stretch across her face. However, she sat and listened to him rant and it made her temporary expression fall as he talked ill of the former river king. "Seriously, Pikesplash, then why don't you think about killing me!? I was much worse to you than I think he was." she snapped and then took a long breath, relaxing her shoulders, "I don't understand where you're going with this. What are you wanting to do with this piece of you? Did you want to entertain it, bring it to battle just as I do? Push it down to the depths of your being?"



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