- Nov 14, 2023
- 80
- 13
- 8
He couldn't take this anymore. He had tried over and over again all while keeping a brave face. He had grinned until his own face hurt, to the point he could barely eat because it hurt, that sickening smile...But he had endured through it all to keep up the facade so he would look inviting, welcoming. A grin that would win everyone's hearts. For so long he had believed that if only he kept on smiling for a little bit more...everything would change for the better.
That ideal world of love and acceptance surely he would get rewarded if he just kept on pushing forward. But aha...he couldn't do it anymore. It was like his face had broke. Haha, funny, wasn't it?.
That grin was no longer a tool to use to keep on that brave facade. With that grin all dead and gone to have nowhere to hide anymore felt exposed and lost. Basilpaw really truly needed someone right now. He needed his brother, not the sibling who had long since abandoned him. It was with a last attempt he believed, that he seeked them out but not for comfort, no...this time he wanted answers. After all this time, didn't he deserve them?.
Like a ghost Basilpaw walked out from the shadows to approach his brother who had just returned back from a patrol. Lividsmoke stared them down but thier lips were sealed shut. Obiviously, they most have heard right?. About how he had failed to become a warrior. The absence during the meeting should have made that clear. " Why..." He tried to speak, words for once finding itself hard to slip through that chatterbox of a mouth. Basilpaw hesitated because did he really wish to know?. All this time that lie had been to protect himself from this. Or maybe it was because he knew the answer all along...
" Why do you hate me?, can't you see i just want you in my life." When he finally find the courage to speak his voice failed him to be chirpy, cheerful...or even loud. His voice was trembling with emotions he tried to hold down. " I just...wanted to be your brother, for you to love me. " His voice was cracking, facial expression pained with his despair that poured out from him. Why couldn't i be good enough for you?...
Lividsmoke felt absolutely nothing when seeing thier brother like this, if anything it was pathetic and embarassing. Now more than ever before. To share kinship with someone who had failed their assignment. To them it was a sign from starclan that Basilpaw did not deserve to become a warrior. If it had been up to them, Lividsmoke would have chased them out. Unfortunately, decisions like this was not up for them to make.
" Because..." Did they really own them a reason?, an explanation. Lividsmoke had thought they had been clear before and so many times after but no. Basilpaw truly was as stubborn like he was dumb. They had tried to cut them down and be over with it. But they always came back like a lost puppy asking for more. " you're an embarrassment. You always have been. Fooling around not taking anything seriously and now?. This is the result." You're not cut out for this, words left unspoken but Lividsmoke message was clear across thier face. Basilpaw was weak, and they did not wish to bother themselves with sheeps.
Brother had always knew how to cut where it would hurt the most. How to make his heart sink and drown, gasping desperately for air while staring as his head went underneath the surface. It was true, he would admit that he might not be the brightest of brains but even he understood brothers cruel hidden message. Hah, maybe it was because father had been the same too. Never adressing them directly, never saying it to thier face but he could see it across their face.The disgust, how he had viewed them as worthless. Lividsmoke looked at him the same. Not an equal. Never had, and never would. The illusion to convince himself to be fine with that to be careful to not stand in the way. Always walking on eggshells around them both... All of that for this sort of treatment. Now he understood what a fool he had been. Perhaps, competition would have been the correct way to reach his brother instead of allowing themself to be treated like dirt. If he not had done that to his face...
" Fight me." He said through clenched teeths because it had suddenly hit him, through the pain and everything he had endured and suffering through up until now - he was sick of it. Brother constantly looking down on them. Basilpaw was emotional, in truth he couldn't think straight right now but none of that mattered. This bottled up emotions needed to come out that had been stored and locked up for months. What better way then to release them on the cause of it all?. Maybe even if he won his brother would finally see him. At this point thinking rationally were pointless.
" No. " Lividsmoke didn't even hesitant to deny as they started walking, refusing to waste anymore of thier time on thier brothers foolishness. They had better things to do then spar with an apprentice, with a failure. They would walk themselves past them, done and over with this conversation not wishing to create another scene, or rather to get dragged into one. So they tried to leave, to do the right thing but -
" Don't turn your back on me again!." Again they turned thier back on him, refusing to listening to take them seriously. But for once he would not let them get away. Basilpaw was quick to spin around, lunging for thier brother but thier attack was unaffective. Lividsmoke easily dodged to the side as Basilpaw came flying past them. Thier orbs narrowed. What a clumsy attack. Fur of grey came at them again with a paw lashed out, for a second time Lividsmoke just moved out of the way and watched thier brother from the corner of the eye. It was like fighting a kit, had Basilpaw even trained at all?. It continued like this, Basilpaw lunging at the warrior trying to get them with their paws or to ram himself into them. Like a dance, Lividsmoke would smoothly dancing themself around them not making a move of thier own, just dodging to follow along the rhythm of this tragic dance until Basilpaw despite thier odds against them manged to catch them, and the two fell to the ground as Basilpaw landed on top of them but not for long. Lividsmoke fought back and the two tossed and twisted around in each others grip as they rolled around on the ground until Lividsmoke got the upperhand and pinned them down underneath.
" That's enough!." It was unusual for them to raise thier voice like this, always cold and harsh but never pitched above average volume. But thier patience had been tested and pushed and they had enough of this kit-like tantrum that thier brother always did never acting like a proper adult would do. Someone like them could never defeat them not even in thier wildest dreams.
" W-why....why couldn't i be good enough for you?." His trembling voice cried. Breaking, he was breaking apart. It was no point anymore...Basilpaw couldn't hold them back in so the tears won and started to fall. The emotions just poured itself out from them. Basilpaw looked into thier brothers cold emotionless eyes with despair. Why couldn't he have been born into a family who loved him. Why, why, why, why?!. A picture so perfect of him and his family...laughing together and watching the stars together. A pat on his head now and then when he had done something good. Was that too much to ask?. Was it?!.
Tch, look at this scene thier foolish brother had created around them, eyes watching and staring at them. Even now he tried to make it worse by crying their eyes out. Lividsmoke was immune to such display, hardened and cold to the very bone. Closed of to feel even a piece of sympathy. Maybe pity would have been at best to earn from them but not for thier brother. Eyes narrowed as the warrior leaned down to thier brothers face. " Because you're weak." They spat through a hiss for only thier brother's ears to hear before stepping of them and turned thier back on them for a second time to begin to walk away.
Weak. Aha, there was the answer to the golden question. The final cruel word to cut them down with. Unfairly, they had never given him a chance, judged and cast away from the very start all because of his face. Nothing he ever did would change thier minds because they didn't care. All he had wanted was for them to love him back.
He would run towards that picture, the perfect picture but as he reached out a paw towards it the picture shattered right in front of thier eyes. Everything just fell apart.... Dreams and hope all gone, all of it.
It was gone. The world burned along with that picture destroyed and as he drowned with his broken dreams. Abandoned and bedrayed by those he had given his everything to. It was then, in that bittersome moment his voice whisperd into his ear. They don't deserve you. Aha, that familliar comforting voice who had been there for months whispering at the back of his head. THEY DON'T DESERVE YOU!!. Louder this time because of the invitation, for welcoming it inside, and suddenly he had rolled back to his stomach while staring down at the dirt. It was an awaking call. Inside something shifted, changed. All this time he had been right. All that hurt and pain he had suffered through all of this time it got devoured by the gasoline that started to scorch itself inside of them. It wasn't fair. How he had been treated, it simply wasn't fair. How they always turned thier back on him. But not this time.
He stood back up as teeth clenched themselves together into a snarl as something new had awaken them to rise up from the ashes thier family had buried him under. That voice contunie to roar inside like a guiding light until his mind was clear at final last. - He doesn't deserve your kindness. And that was the final straw for him to -
snap.
Basilpaw eyes locked thier eyes on them as he sprinted forward with green orbs burning with rage as claws rasped at the dirt as the grey smoke pushed forward with full speed with vision seeing nothing but red.
Lividsmoke's ears perked up, suddenly hearing pawsteps coming up from behind. Again?!. They turned swiftly around but not even them had been able to predict it this time...to be able to turn around in time. Eyes widened as they saw the claws came flashing towards their face. Slash - blood got spilled from the warrior's face, and with a hiss Lividsmoke took severely steps back before liftening up a paw to place it upon thier newly fresh wound. For a brief moment they where baffled with what just had happened but not for long. As soon as it hit them thier eyes narrowed coldly into sharp ice. How dared they touch them with thier filthy paws. At this point yes, they were in fact furious. Right in that very moment the dark desire to slash thier throat open intruded thier thoughts and Lividsmoke's own claws slided itself out wishing to punish them with thier own paw. But as quickly as that thought, that dark desire sneaked itself into thier head it was pushed back at the reminder that a warrior never should lift a paw against an apprentice. Lividsmoke had no choice but feel satisfied with sinking thier claws into the dirt instead while glaring at thier brother who proved in that very moment who should have been given that cursed name.
Vivid breaths left the smoke's mouth, Basilpaw's eyes glaring unapologicly at thier brother with clenched teeths still along with claws flashed out and unbothered by the blood that covered one of them. Do you see me now?!.
In that very moment as the brothers glared each other down, hatred started to bloom inside of each heart connecting them only through this..and one of them...or maybe even both had one dangerous desire burning inside of them, a promise to themself alone.
I'm gonna destroy you.
// aaaaah, this is so long...took me forever to write.... rip my sanity and keyboard. Anyway, i just wanna let everyone know this is OPTIONAL to reply to, so honestly don't feel pressured or forced because i KNOW this is alot to read and give an respond to. I just posted it here in case someone would like to reply to it but not a most. and with kaz is signing out to crash in the bed to sleep....
That ideal world of love and acceptance surely he would get rewarded if he just kept on pushing forward. But aha...he couldn't do it anymore. It was like his face had broke. Haha, funny, wasn't it?.
That grin was no longer a tool to use to keep on that brave facade. With that grin all dead and gone to have nowhere to hide anymore felt exposed and lost. Basilpaw really truly needed someone right now. He needed his brother, not the sibling who had long since abandoned him. It was with a last attempt he believed, that he seeked them out but not for comfort, no...this time he wanted answers. After all this time, didn't he deserve them?.
Like a ghost Basilpaw walked out from the shadows to approach his brother who had just returned back from a patrol. Lividsmoke stared them down but thier lips were sealed shut. Obiviously, they most have heard right?. About how he had failed to become a warrior. The absence during the meeting should have made that clear. " Why..." He tried to speak, words for once finding itself hard to slip through that chatterbox of a mouth. Basilpaw hesitated because did he really wish to know?. All this time that lie had been to protect himself from this. Or maybe it was because he knew the answer all along...
" Why do you hate me?, can't you see i just want you in my life." When he finally find the courage to speak his voice failed him to be chirpy, cheerful...or even loud. His voice was trembling with emotions he tried to hold down. " I just...wanted to be your brother, for you to love me. " His voice was cracking, facial expression pained with his despair that poured out from him. Why couldn't i be good enough for you?...
Lividsmoke felt absolutely nothing when seeing thier brother like this, if anything it was pathetic and embarassing. Now more than ever before. To share kinship with someone who had failed their assignment. To them it was a sign from starclan that Basilpaw did not deserve to become a warrior. If it had been up to them, Lividsmoke would have chased them out. Unfortunately, decisions like this was not up for them to make.
" Because..." Did they really own them a reason?, an explanation. Lividsmoke had thought they had been clear before and so many times after but no. Basilpaw truly was as stubborn like he was dumb. They had tried to cut them down and be over with it. But they always came back like a lost puppy asking for more. " you're an embarrassment. You always have been. Fooling around not taking anything seriously and now?. This is the result." You're not cut out for this, words left unspoken but Lividsmoke message was clear across thier face. Basilpaw was weak, and they did not wish to bother themselves with sheeps.
Brother had always knew how to cut where it would hurt the most. How to make his heart sink and drown, gasping desperately for air while staring as his head went underneath the surface. It was true, he would admit that he might not be the brightest of brains but even he understood brothers cruel hidden message. Hah, maybe it was because father had been the same too. Never adressing them directly, never saying it to thier face but he could see it across their face.The disgust, how he had viewed them as worthless. Lividsmoke looked at him the same. Not an equal. Never had, and never would. The illusion to convince himself to be fine with that to be careful to not stand in the way. Always walking on eggshells around them both... All of that for this sort of treatment. Now he understood what a fool he had been. Perhaps, competition would have been the correct way to reach his brother instead of allowing themself to be treated like dirt. If he not had done that to his face...
" Fight me." He said through clenched teeths because it had suddenly hit him, through the pain and everything he had endured and suffering through up until now - he was sick of it. Brother constantly looking down on them. Basilpaw was emotional, in truth he couldn't think straight right now but none of that mattered. This bottled up emotions needed to come out that had been stored and locked up for months. What better way then to release them on the cause of it all?. Maybe even if he won his brother would finally see him. At this point thinking rationally were pointless.
" No. " Lividsmoke didn't even hesitant to deny as they started walking, refusing to waste anymore of thier time on thier brothers foolishness. They had better things to do then spar with an apprentice, with a failure. They would walk themselves past them, done and over with this conversation not wishing to create another scene, or rather to get dragged into one. So they tried to leave, to do the right thing but -
" Don't turn your back on me again!." Again they turned thier back on him, refusing to listening to take them seriously. But for once he would not let them get away. Basilpaw was quick to spin around, lunging for thier brother but thier attack was unaffective. Lividsmoke easily dodged to the side as Basilpaw came flying past them. Thier orbs narrowed. What a clumsy attack. Fur of grey came at them again with a paw lashed out, for a second time Lividsmoke just moved out of the way and watched thier brother from the corner of the eye. It was like fighting a kit, had Basilpaw even trained at all?. It continued like this, Basilpaw lunging at the warrior trying to get them with their paws or to ram himself into them. Like a dance, Lividsmoke would smoothly dancing themself around them not making a move of thier own, just dodging to follow along the rhythm of this tragic dance until Basilpaw despite thier odds against them manged to catch them, and the two fell to the ground as Basilpaw landed on top of them but not for long. Lividsmoke fought back and the two tossed and twisted around in each others grip as they rolled around on the ground until Lividsmoke got the upperhand and pinned them down underneath.
" That's enough!." It was unusual for them to raise thier voice like this, always cold and harsh but never pitched above average volume. But thier patience had been tested and pushed and they had enough of this kit-like tantrum that thier brother always did never acting like a proper adult would do. Someone like them could never defeat them not even in thier wildest dreams.
" W-why....why couldn't i be good enough for you?." His trembling voice cried. Breaking, he was breaking apart. It was no point anymore...Basilpaw couldn't hold them back in so the tears won and started to fall. The emotions just poured itself out from them. Basilpaw looked into thier brothers cold emotionless eyes with despair. Why couldn't he have been born into a family who loved him. Why, why, why, why?!. A picture so perfect of him and his family...laughing together and watching the stars together. A pat on his head now and then when he had done something good. Was that too much to ask?. Was it?!.
Tch, look at this scene thier foolish brother had created around them, eyes watching and staring at them. Even now he tried to make it worse by crying their eyes out. Lividsmoke was immune to such display, hardened and cold to the very bone. Closed of to feel even a piece of sympathy. Maybe pity would have been at best to earn from them but not for thier brother. Eyes narrowed as the warrior leaned down to thier brothers face. " Because you're weak." They spat through a hiss for only thier brother's ears to hear before stepping of them and turned thier back on them for a second time to begin to walk away.
Weak. Aha, there was the answer to the golden question. The final cruel word to cut them down with. Unfairly, they had never given him a chance, judged and cast away from the very start all because of his face. Nothing he ever did would change thier minds because they didn't care. All he had wanted was for them to love him back.
He would run towards that picture, the perfect picture but as he reached out a paw towards it the picture shattered right in front of thier eyes. Everything just fell apart.... Dreams and hope all gone, all of it.
It was gone. The world burned along with that picture destroyed and as he drowned with his broken dreams. Abandoned and bedrayed by those he had given his everything to. It was then, in that bittersome moment his voice whisperd into his ear. They don't deserve you. Aha, that familliar comforting voice who had been there for months whispering at the back of his head. THEY DON'T DESERVE YOU!!. Louder this time because of the invitation, for welcoming it inside, and suddenly he had rolled back to his stomach while staring down at the dirt. It was an awaking call. Inside something shifted, changed. All this time he had been right. All that hurt and pain he had suffered through all of this time it got devoured by the gasoline that started to scorch itself inside of them. It wasn't fair. How he had been treated, it simply wasn't fair. How they always turned thier back on him. But not this time.
He stood back up as teeth clenched themselves together into a snarl as something new had awaken them to rise up from the ashes thier family had buried him under. That voice contunie to roar inside like a guiding light until his mind was clear at final last. - He doesn't deserve your kindness. And that was the final straw for him to -
snap.
Basilpaw eyes locked thier eyes on them as he sprinted forward with green orbs burning with rage as claws rasped at the dirt as the grey smoke pushed forward with full speed with vision seeing nothing but red.
Lividsmoke's ears perked up, suddenly hearing pawsteps coming up from behind. Again?!. They turned swiftly around but not even them had been able to predict it this time...to be able to turn around in time. Eyes widened as they saw the claws came flashing towards their face. Slash - blood got spilled from the warrior's face, and with a hiss Lividsmoke took severely steps back before liftening up a paw to place it upon thier newly fresh wound. For a brief moment they where baffled with what just had happened but not for long. As soon as it hit them thier eyes narrowed coldly into sharp ice. How dared they touch them with thier filthy paws. At this point yes, they were in fact furious. Right in that very moment the dark desire to slash thier throat open intruded thier thoughts and Lividsmoke's own claws slided itself out wishing to punish them with thier own paw. But as quickly as that thought, that dark desire sneaked itself into thier head it was pushed back at the reminder that a warrior never should lift a paw against an apprentice. Lividsmoke had no choice but feel satisfied with sinking thier claws into the dirt instead while glaring at thier brother who proved in that very moment who should have been given that cursed name.
Vivid breaths left the smoke's mouth, Basilpaw's eyes glaring unapologicly at thier brother with clenched teeths still along with claws flashed out and unbothered by the blood that covered one of them. Do you see me now?!.
In that very moment as the brothers glared each other down, hatred started to bloom inside of each heart connecting them only through this..and one of them...or maybe even both had one dangerous desire burning inside of them, a promise to themself alone.
I'm gonna destroy you.
// aaaaah, this is so long...took me forever to write.... rip my sanity and keyboard. Anyway, i just wanna let everyone know this is OPTIONAL to reply to, so honestly don't feel pressured or forced because i KNOW this is alot to read and give an respond to. I just posted it here in case someone would like to reply to it but not a most. and with kaz is signing out to crash in the bed to sleep....
