When it Lands / Howlingstar

[ROEFLAME .]

ROEFLAME — break the air to feel the fall.
She hadn’t been out of camp for long, admittedly, her habit to confront instead of run becoming too overwhelming to stay away, to put it- this off.
She had never asked what Cinderfrost’s crimes were as an apprentice, even after her exile, the sugar-coated version her adoptive mother had given to Roeflame as a kit had been enough for the warrior until today, when she gazed upon Sunnyday over Sandpaws broken form and saw Cinderfrost.
The backlash from her clanmates had been similar- if not toned down to the same reaction the former medicine cat had received that day in front of Shadowclan.
She had never asked, never really wanted to know. Cinderfrost had saved her life and raised her, Roeflame had loved her so much that she refused to let herself know.
Had.
The realization had been a pit in the tabby’s stomach, she had loved the ashen molly so much so that she was ready to self-exile in order to stay at her side.
Until, she had been sent in the dead of night alongside Sunnyday to take a litter of newborn kits from Cinderfrost’s belly, and feel her fade from Roeflames life for good.
Now, as she stands in front of Howlingstars den in the dying light of dusk, she has to sink her claws in the ground to not turn away.
"Howlingstar?" Her voice is not a croak, but it is strained, unnaturally almost.
She didn’t want to know, but she had to.

@HOWLINGSTAR
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[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar is preparing to go to sleep, performing her nightly routine of grooming her fur and picking out the twigs and leaves she has collected throughout the day. Her ear twitches as shuffled pawsteps stop outside her den and she blinks up towards the lichen curtain that separates her from the outside. A strained voice calls for her and for a moment she can't place the voice until she thinks for a moment. "Roeflame?" She mews back with the realization, now sitting up and facing her den's entrance. "It's alright, you can come in." Ears ears press forward with noticeable concern - she can tell just from the young warrior's voice that she is feeling troubled. "Is everything alright?" ​

 

[ROEFLAME .]

ROEFLAME — break the air to feel the fall.
Sparing one last lengthy exhale, Roeflame steps into the den.
The realization that she had never actually seen the leaders den is a faint echo in the back of her mind, and she finds tired eyes drifting around for just a moment, procrastinating.
It is in vain, however, as Howlingstar is quick to ask if everything is alright.
Roeflame pauses for a moment before she shakes her head, finally locking her attention onto Howlingstar.
"Sunnyday.. what happened today, it brought back.. memories." Her words are slow and unsure, and her gaze drops to the leaders chin, unsure if she could continue on with a steady gaze. "Memories of Cinderfrost." She continues with an uneasy twitch of her ear. "I need to know what she did, Howlingstar. Even if… if it may be difficult, I cannot go forward with my life until I do." More breath than voice, she knows she is a pitiful sight at the moment. With an invisible push she forced herself to look back into Howlingstars eyes.

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[HOWLINGSTAR]

When Roeflame begins to speak, Howlingstar is taken aback by the seriousness of her tone. Her ears angle backwards and she nods slowly in understanding. Of course...she should have expected this day to come. Only so many stories of Cinderfrost's evils can float around camp before they would spur on some curiosity in the one who saw her as a maternal figure. "....Okay," She finally agrees softly, seating herself on her haunches. Her gaze lingers on the ground for a moment in thought before she finally speaks again. "Cinderfrost was a she-cat with a lot of anger inside of her. I cared for her greatly, you know. I watched her grow up in Briarstar's old colony in the marshes. I taught her to hunt and fight, sometimes. Somewhere in there, there was a good and honorable cat. But in the end, it was her desire for revenge that won out."

She draws in a breath, eyeing the young warrior to make sure she's okay before she continues with what exactly she'd done.​

 

[ROEFLAME .]

ROEFLAME — break the air to feel the fall.
The pause that hangs between the two tabbies is heavy, if it was tangible Roeflame thinks that it’d be able to crush her.
She tries to conceal the anxiety that gnaws at her, and for the most part succeeds- spare for her tail flicking to and fro against the ground.
As always, the words that the leader speaks are gentle, and almost soothing as she recalls the memory of the ashen medicine cat.
Roeflame knows better than to let her mind yield however, she knew that the image of her adoptive mother would be crumpled when she had entered Howlingstars den- and though she knew her leader took no pleasure in doing so, Roeflame had to keep her mental walls high, otherwise the fear that she’d collapse in on herself would be overbearing.
She gives Howlingstar a small nod, a silent ask to go on.
It was her desire for revenge that won out.
The words are a bone-chilling echo in her mind, a melancholy rhythm as it repeats.

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[HOWLINGSTAR]

Roeflame nods and Howlingstar returns it in kind, her expression cautious. With her ears angled back, she looks back towards the ground near the young warrior's paws. She draws in a breath and continues, more sure this time that she can handle it. "Cinderfrost lost cats in the Great Battle. Young cats who she cared about greatly...She blamed Emberstar for their deaths because while they died, Emberstar was locked in battle with her, preventing her from getting to them. After they were both called to the Moonstone to be named ThunderClan's leader and medicine cat, Cinderfrost took Emberstar's first life just outside of this camp, where all of us could see." Howlingstar swallows hard as she recalls the memory. Emberstar's stomach ripped open, blood drenching the forest floor. She has to hold back a shudder and instead levels the she-cat with a sad stare. "Emberstar didn't deserve to be struck down in her own home. Emberstar wasn't a killer; she spared me in the Great Battle." She had been the most honorable cat Howlingstar had ever known.​

 

[ROEFLAME .]

ROEFLAME — break the air to feel the fall.
Howlingstars words spur horrific imagery, the form of Cinderfrost hunched over Emberstar as crimson engulfs both of them.
Roeflame blinks it away with a subtle shiver, the knot in her stomach yanking tighter.
Emberstar didn’t deserve to be struck down in her own home.
Roeflame can only meekly nod in agreement. "Even then, Emberstar let her stay.." She finally speaks again, her tone miserable as her steely composure crumbled to reveal exactly what she was- heart broken.
"Everything makes a lot more sense now." She admits with a small shake of her head. Memories ripple somewhere from the back of her head, Emberstar looking warily into the medicine den where Cinderfrost and Roekit once lived, the constant check-ins, the isolation from Roeflames peers.
"So that Shadowclan medicine cat… it didn’t matter who instigated the fight, or the context, Cinderfrosts actions only proved that she was violent… dangerous." She murmurs, the weight that she had been caring for so long rolling uneasily off of her shoulders.
Roeflame reaches out then, her forepaw sliding across the ground to settle lightly against Howlingstars. "Thank you for telling me. It.. hurts, but I appreciate it." She’d say then with a small dip of her head, her tone genuine. She was grateful to not be in the dark… but the light didn’t seem as satisfying anymore.

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[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar nods when Roeflame makes the connection with Bonejaw, her ears angling backwards. "Yes...when it came out that she tried to kill ShadowClan's medicine cat, it became obvious to Emberstar that not even she could control Cinderfrost's temper and her need for vengeance. She was more of a danger to ThunderClan than anything else." She dips her head to the young she-cat, eyes downcast. "I'm sorry I didn't fight for you to be given to a queen in the nursery. I never wanted her looking after you...you were innocent and didn't ask to be tied to what is now a story told to kits to keep them in their nests at night."

The warrior presses her paw against the tabby's and she peers back up at her, eyes solemn but there is a hopeful light within them. "You deserved to know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."​