pafp when the clouds won't iron out || checking in

[ashpaw!]

// retro fox attack <3

Ashpaw finds him alone, near the edge of their makeshift camp.

The kid is — so much like she used to be. So much like she still is, Ashpaw thinks, pelt prickling with a little embarrassment... months since Spiderfall has touched her, and still she's trapped inside her own head, seeing faces in the dark. But no one is rushing her — "Enough," Smokethroat had said to stop Pebbleskip's quiet shaming, and since then Ashpaw has meandered through the days, from apprentice chores to helping Beesong to falling asleep next to her family. Ashpaw is learning, little by little, to be as kind to herself as they've been to her.

Pine isn't quite there yet, she thinks. Pain seems fresher on his face, memories closer... and he's so little. Hardly more than half her age, almost as small as Willowroot's kittens.

She comes to rest beside him, having finished switching out the elders' bedding for the day; they make good company but the work is tedious, so she's ready for a break. "Hiya Pine," she says softly. "What're you doing out here alone?"

He's alone ... often, she's noticed. Not like Willowroot's or Boneripple's kittens, always falling asleep tangled up with one another, or the brand-new little apprentices tussling and tumbling around their den.

She remembers the way he'd tripped over himself apologizing to Smokethroat, when he was still much newer — he'd expected violence, and oh, Ashpaw knows that feeling.

Stars. Had other people been this — this devastated in the aftermath of Spiderfall? Had she looked this unbearably small to them, then? She's glad that Pine is in RiverClan now. He — he really, really deserves to be loved, after whatever he's been through.

"You okay, little guy?" she finds herself asking, gentle green eyes flicking over his little scarred face.
​

—— " i found gold in the wreckage "

✦ ooc ✦ character information ✦ recent events

• @Pine HERE U GO !!!!
  
  
• - 7 month old orange tabby with green eyes
  - apprenticed to lead warrior willowroot
  - crushing hard on iciclepaw
  - happy-go-lucky, mischievous, hardworking
  - very friendly, but defensive of riverclan!
  - "speech"
• - disclosed being abused by spiderfall, who was exiled & who then killed her best friend pumpkinpaw
  
  - temporarily apprenticed to npc pebbleskip due to willowroot moving into the nursery
  
  - benched for a few weeks at smokethroat's request after a training incident; mainly stays in camp and helps with the kits or does chores
  

​

 

[Pinepaw]

"nothing but pain on the edge of a knife"​

Pine had seen her coming. Ashpaw looked a bit like a lighter version of himself, her coat a blaze against the deep snow around them. Something had happened to her before he arrived, but he had never asked; It wasn’t his place to know.

Her voice is softer than the young tom expected when she speaks to him. He still jumps when people address him, but he finds his fur bristles less and less with each interaction. ”I’m watching and staying out of the way,” Pine told Ashpaw, keeping his eyes firmly cemented to the ground. He didn’t want to get under-paw.

Ashpaw’s next question startles him more than her presence. Him? No one asked him how he was doing. He looked up at the she-cat, nearly meeting her eyes. ”I’m here,” he mewed, words tumbling out of his mouth before he thought them. ”This is the most okay place I’ve been.”
​

✦ ★ ✦​

 

[frogpaw]

Frogpaw's not quite the same as these two. He....feels, and feels intensely, and he's been in a lot of trouble before, but it didn't make him the way it made these two. He never really got the softness, or the worries. He never concerned himself too much with being underfoot, just with being– being perfect. It's still not ideal, he knows. There's no such thing as perfection. The most perfect creature to ever exist would still make mistakes day in and day out. Knowing that doesn't make it go away, though. Sometimes he wants to bury his head in the frozen river and scream until his lungs ache because if he can't be perfect, what good is he? If he can't make Snakeblink proud, or be a good part of RiverClan, what good is he?

It's not quite the same as Ashpaw and Pinepaw, but it sure isn't any healthier.

"Staying out of the way?" Though the apprentice had only been passing by on his way to gather reeds, that phrase caught his mind and pulled him into the conversation. Large, too-many-toed paws refuse to pick themselves back up and keep walking. "You don't have to do that. Nobody minds if you come closer." Unable to wrangle the words that he wants, Frogpaw pauses. His mouth opens and closes and opens again, and then he sighs a gentle gust of breath. Softly, he adds on, "You know that, right?" Pale eyes turn to Ashpaw. Both of you do, right?

˗ˏˋ〚  OOC NOTES REFERENCE INFORMATION 〛´ˎ˗

• ooc: —
• 
• FROGPAW. APPRENTICE OF RIVERCLAN. EIGHT MONTHS OLD
  —— npc x npc, has several npc siblings. mentored by snakeblink.
  —— loyal to riverclan, but somewhat uncertain of his place there.
  —— unknown sexuality. single, not actively looking or interested.
  
  a lanky, slender black smoke with low white and soft blue eyes. his ears are gently curled, and each paw has at least one extra toe, making them seem broader and larger than a typical cat's.
• "speech"

​

 

[koispots]

Staying out of the way, Pine says, but Koi knows how that feels all too well. Making yourself seem small. Yeah, it's better if you do that, the bitter part of her wants to say because she never got this attention, angry at this fact. But this was someone young, not someone older she can snarl at. Was she bound to drown in the murky waters she had created? The water is high, loathing, and Koi isn't sure she knows how to swim.

Frogpaw comes next, someone shes barely interacted with (though she can't say she knows much of anyone anymore) and she lets out a frustrated breath from her nose. It's not nice to take your anger out on someone else, or whatever people said. She comes over herself, quizzical look, softer than her previous expression. "They're right, you know." and even though its monotone, its genuine. She doesn't want anyone to hurt as she does (shes lying to herself, she knows it). I'm here, yeah, kid wasn't fine, but whatever. She'll let the others do most of the talking, squinting at Pine. He looks familiar, shes not sure where... Oh, Crappie's little person-watcher friend. The thought makes her chuckle.
​

"speech"​

 

[ashpaw!]

"This is the most okay place I've been."

Ashpaw knows that feeling. She knows it all the way down to her bones. "Yeah," she says softly. "RiverClan's nice, huh? Lots of people looking out for little guys."

If he'll let her, she'll drop an affectionate lick to the top of his head. Frogpaw and Koipaw have joined them, now, reassuring the kiddo that he doesn't have to stay out of the way. Ashpaw ... ignores Frogpaw's imploring look towards her, pelt prickling with discomfort. Does Ash know that?

She'd rather focus on Pine.

"It's okay if you wanna stay out here though. Maybe we'll just sit here with you," she offers. "So you're not all alone. People watching sounds fun." Ashpaw has spent the morning helping with cleaning and construction and stuff, so she thinks she's earned a break.

"Ooh — look. Troutnose is going to try weaving again. This is always funny." She grins at Frogpaw and Koipaw in turn, who must've also seen some of the NPC's many weaving attempts, and then whispers to Pine, "He's VERY bad at weaving but thinks he's amazing at it. He gets all crochety if you say anything and won't take anyone's advice... even Buckgait's!"
​

—— " i found gold in the wreckage "

✦ ooc ✦ character information ✦ recent events

• ooc text goes here
  
  
• - 7 month old orange tabby with green eyes
  - apprenticed to lead warrior willowroot
  - crushing hard on iciclepaw
  - happy-go-lucky, mischievous, hardworking
  - very friendly, but defensive of riverclan!
  - "speech"
• - disclosed being abused by spiderfall, who was exiled & who then killed her best friend pumpkinpaw
  
  - temporarily apprenticed to npc pebbleskip due to willowroot moving into the nursery
  
  - benched for a few weeks at smokethroat's request after a training incident; mainly stays in camp and helps with the kits or does chores
  

​

 

[Pinepaw]

"nothing but pain on the edge of a knife"​

As more and more apprentices gathered, Pine felt himself shrinking inwards. One-on-one he could handle, but this was starting to be too much. He felt himself nod as Frogpaw and Koipaw spoke, but he had no clue what they’d said. Ashpaw’s tongue rasping over his fur helped to ground him, and he looked up at the older apprentice with gratitude. He didn’t feel like he could join the rest of the clan in their familiar routines, not yet.

Pine nods shyly at Ashpaw’s suggestion. ”That would be nice,” he mewed. The tom settled in to watch the camp, a snicker bursting out of his chest at Troutnose’s cattywampus weaving. ”Wow, even my weaving is better than that!” His small frame relaxed as he kept watching, little bits of laughter bubbling out of him. The fear he’d felt was slinking away, and if she’d allow it he would lean into Ashpaw’s flank without a thought.
​

✦ ★ ✦​