when we were unafraid | bonejaw

[Dandelionwish]

Truth be told, he was almost afraid of getting his head bitten off going near the ShadowClan border but Pitchstar seemed almost like an entirely different cat than the one he was at the incident where Honeytwist was exiled. It was like a switch was flicked and he went from rabid and practically clawing into their territory to seeming perfectly well-adjusted...but Dandelionwish didn't need any knowledge on how brains worked to know this was a little more messed up than he expected. If he thought Sootstar was unhinged, at least she presented it with some degree of tact and dignity. Pitchstar was...a different beast, but he was not here to see Pitchstar-he was here to see Bonejaw and he pushed these feelings of unease away. He'd even come alone to avoid ramping up any further paranoia with the knowledge he was learning to fight well with Coldsnap's help and if a cat took a shot at him he'd deliver one right back.
Hopefully he and the other medicine cat were left alone and he could see how she was doing. His last vision of Bonejaw was her eyes wide in horror at the border dispute and pleading with her leader to pull back. He felt for her, this entire ordeal was neither of their faults and yet they had both paid for it dearly in one way or another. The chocolate limbed tom felt moons older than he'd been only once ago, as if the events aged him. He felt almost weathered, decrepit, lost...it was uneasy to think he was only 9 moons now when he had started at 8.

The ShadowClanner escorting him seemed friendly enough, but he was happy when she directed him to the den and left him to greet the other alone rather than continue to loiter, though he was very sure cats were keeping an eye out regardless. On this, he could not blame them. To be attacked so blatantly at a peaceful meeting meant he would be on edge too. Say what you would of WindClan, if he had come home with claws on his flanks they would have sought blood in pennance as well. Perhaps not to the extreme but, he doubted anyone was on the same level as the rosette tom. "Howdy Bonejaw!" He greeted, smile in place despite his apprehension in this strange territory because he did genuinely want someone to talk to and Bonejaw seemed sensible and nice from his brief glances of her. They probably would've gotten along sooner if what happened had not happened. "Meant to visit ye sooner but, Sootstar got it up in her head we had to go to the moonstone. Ye know....make it all official like." Was he allowed to talk about StarClan with another medicine cat? It felt so strange to even breath of the moment to anyone that he wasn't sure. "How're ye holdin up?"


​

 

[BONERIPPLE]

Since the indicent that happened at Windclan's border she has been torn. She doesn't know what to do and she knows she can not even hope to make the situation better. It's not what she wanted, never has been. The moment she came home she merely sat and stared, thought, and then retired to the warrior's den. Maybe her silence is what condemned things and just made them worse. And even now she has been thinking because if things went like that in Windclan then she knows that this vengeance in her name has also reached Thunderclan as well. Most of the talks suggest just as much and the thought makes her feel bitter. Them she was given an omen by Starclan themselves. Displeased with her, they want her to set aside herself, her feelings to still be that medicine cat.

The dream was vivid and she can still smell it. The rot and death. It haunts her and she doesn't want to see her home like that. Despite everything she does own this colony or what's left of it. Forcing a sigh from tired lungs she is about to fix her nest when she hears approaching steps and smells the scent of the moors. It makes her tense up sharply but she turns to look over her shoulder just as Dandelion speaks up to her. Surprise is evident in her burning gaze and she turns around compltely. "Dandelionpaw?" The name tumbles from her maw and she is confused but it clears as he speaks. He wanted to come and see her but lagged with other duties. Yet she still can't discern why. "I've been better. But things have been sound except for..." Except for her nephew's unnecessary war path.

"I never meant for your mentor to be exiled, Dandelion. I never uttered a word or a name. That, whatever that was wasn't for me." She looks tired, withered but she still sits up tall and she tilts her head suddenly in thought. "Why did you come all this way to see me? Though the visit is not an unwelcomed one." A breath of fresh air if anything.​

 

[Dandelionwish]

"Wish now...actually. Dandelionwish, StarClan named me." He offered a quiet smile, uncertain but unwavering-that visit to the stars to see Rosepaw was the only thing keeping him struggling forward on this path, because at the end of the day it all had to mean something and he intended to find out the true purpose of it. He was going to get his wish. "Am glad to hear yer feelin' alright-been wanting to check on you fer a while but ah... well. Things happened."
The meeting, the breakdown, the ShadowClan leader's outrage, the fallout...the stars. His accent melted, he didn't have the enthusiasm to keep it up and the only reason he kept it was out of habit alone; he'd been with WindClan so long he was losing the little bit of barn cat he had left it seemed.

The chocolate-masked tom frowned, listened to her and wondered how terribly broken a cat had to be to think they deserved to be met with claws for their weakness, how his entire clan thrived on the concept of meeting failure with punishment, how he ever hoped to hold his own in such a place, but he knew enough about the world now despite his age to understand that good people did bad things sometimes. His idealistic views writ in black and white no longer existed, what he saw was a ever expanding sea of gray and conflict.
"...what happened to Honeytwist was caused by her own claws. The moment she struck you she was lost. I'm glad...you have clanmates that care about you so much they would seek to right a wrong." Perhaps not so egregiously, but as he said...cats were difficult. Pitchstar was swinging from grief and he saw someone hurt another member of his family; Honeytwist had broken for similar reasons before. It was all one big tangle of emotions and he was beginning to understand them more and more. "...Bonejaw, what happened was not your fault. Cats who expect you to suffer...because they have are the problem. Our pain is not competitive, we all bleed and we all hurt inside and out. Sometimes the pain does not make us stronger as the saying goes, sometimes we're weaker but we're never alone." ShadowClan smelled to him like rotted wood and old rain, stale water and sharp scent of tin that almost seemed blood-like, but it was not a bad smell, just one unfamiliar to him. Were he to be raised in the marsh he would have been so taken into its fold it would smell like home.
"I want.....I miss her, but I feel I know you more now than who she became. I want to be friends and I'm willing to work for it...." He shook his head slowly and gave a low mutter, "I don't expect ye to trust WindClan...but I hope in time you can trust me." He gave a shrug, laughed for a moment, "I would mind another medicine cat to talk to as well and perhaps you feel the same?"


​

 

[BONERIPPLE]

"Oh, Wish. Congratulations..." Her voice shifts in tone at the topic of Starclan but she tries not to show it. Most of her emotions she tries to hide behind a blank wall. Never shatter in front of anyone. Oh, but she has and many times as well. Given someone the chance to see her and each time she is berated, attacked, cast aside. The molly feels like how she feels does not matter in the grand scheme of things. Her own feelings only acknowledged by two individuals and now a third. Dandelionwish. His words speak volumes beyong his moons and yet she listens to everything he has to say to her. Every infliction, every sentence and as he finishes the woman glances away for a moment before a small chuckle finally leaves her nuzzle. "So wise for your age, Dandelion. But you are right. Our pain is not a competition and I understand that. I just...maybe if I had done things differently things wouldn't be how they are now. But it can't be helped. I appreciate your words Dandy." The nickname slides so easily from her tongue and she wonders if he will allow her to call him as such.

Trusth be told she really does appreciate this small company and her ears angle forward at his last words. Knowing her more now than he did Honeytwist at her sudden change. Wanting to be her friend. Ah, he knows of her distrust of Windclan and yet he still extends his paw. For friendship just for him. It lights up her broken heart a bit and she nods slowly. "Even with Windclan around I have faith in you Dandelionwish. You, I can tell you are different than your clanmates and that is a good thing. I don't understand what is going on right now between our clans but a friendship and another medicine cat to talk to is more than I can ask for. I'd be honored." She would feel the same, someone who is understsnding of her own plight and failures as a medicine cat. No one looking at her with scorn as if she has not tried her best with what little knowledge she has.​

 

[Dandelionwish]

"Thank ye kindly, think it's nice enough as a name-prefer yours a little more, has a bit more of ah uh-what's it...authority to it?"
StarClan was something he was still trying to put a paw on his feelings for, while he had seen them and knew they were real it was another thing entirely to determine if they were right but until taught otherwise he'd keep doing what he was doing.
"Futures a lil more important than them what-ifs and maybes, ain't nothin' to be done but chug along."
His tail gives a jerking twitch at the nickname, crooking to the side before lashing back and he smiles almost a little too brightly for such a simple gesture, but he's always been fond of the nickname and frankly his full name was a mouthful as it were.

"Can't say I understand much of what's happen' m'self but ah can say one thing at the very least. Ye'll have a friend in me despite what happens between our clans and even the others." When it came to territory ShadowClan had a bit of the short end of the stick for space and proper places for plants to grow and the coming cold seasons were surely going to be a struggle but his wariness of Pitchstar wasn't going to interfer with how he felt right now; properly determined to keep up a nice work relationship and friendship with the other healer. "I'll leave ye be fer now, just wanted to make sure ye were okay, but don't hesitate to give a call if ye need it!" Was he different from his clanmates as she said, sometimes he wondered because being around them and their mindsets so often had him thinking things he'd never suspected would cross his mind but he did know one thing at least: he was a lot stronger than they gave him credit for and he'd not so easily lose himself.
​