- Jan 17, 2024
- 70
- 17
- 8
*+:｡.｡ Duckshimmer feels foolish.
Although the woman has never been shy with her overt flirting, this - like everything else involving Chilledstar - feels different. There is a distinct lack of elegance when it comes to being vulnerable, a fact Duckshimmer is becoming more and more acquainted with the longer she spends her time...padding after her leader. She thinks about the stares she's sure to receive, the rumors, the blow to her, admittedly not the shiniest, but still well-maintained reputation. Not that falling for the leader of Shadowclan is something cats would look down on, but that this woman is capable of loving - of longing to settle down - is a marr against her that she isn't sure she can handle. To commit herself to another person, to the vulnerability that feels so messy and claustrophobic; so fragile and flighty, could the prim and proper chocolate tortie bring herself to...fall?
Small and childish, she grumbles to herself as she presses her nose into Chilledstar's nest, reflecting on the pros and cons of pursuing something so... Close when she's only ever known arm's length. It's difficult to maintain that list of cons, however, when she allows her eyes to close, envisioning Chilledstar's figure blocking the starlight as they return from their midnight patrol. "Are you alright?" they'll ask her, as though Duckshimmer's wellbeing is the most important thing to them. It isn't, Duckshimmer knows this - nothing will come between Chilledstar and their clan...but that's exactly what makes Duckshimmer's heart melt for her foolishly altruistic leader. How incredibly silly - small, childish, inelegant - of Duckshimmer to not mind being second-place, happy to admire Chilledstar from that out-of-reach high rock of theirs.
In the daytime, anyway.
But at night, when the sun is gone and the air is cold, Chilledstar will be Duckshimmer's alone.
Pressing herself deeper into Chilledstar's nest, Duckshimmer - eyes closed - allows herself to smile. Selfish as she is, she's happy to wait patiently for them to return, keeping their nest warm in the same way they do for her.
Love, what a silly, childish, inelegant concept...
And so utterly foolish of her to believe falling came without broken bones.
Commotions break through the cricket song. Duckshimmer almost ignores it, half dozed off in her leader's perfumed scent and the contented feelings that come with it. But the pounding of paws and murmuring of voices soon become calls and cries, and suddenly Duckshimmer is on her feet, fur bristling. If she could tell the future, Duckshimmer would've chosen instead to curl right back into Chilledstar's nest, savoring their scent - their warmth - for as long as possible before the fall became a crash. Instead, the woman leaves Chilledstar's nest, their den, for what will be the very last time, unaware and unprepared for that to be her final taste of that elusive warmth.
"What's going on?" she demands, keeping her voice calm despite the shocked and pained looks of all those around her as they greet the late patrol returning home. Her eyes lock first onto Sneezepaw and Singepaw, both of her sons red-eyed and shaken. She feels her shoulders stiffen, her heart close behind. She's breathless despite not moving another inch, as though the act of looking up and meeting Mirepurr's gaze was a marathon she'd run without a single step.
She doesn't bother asking, she knows the answer is a breath away.
Her lips twitch, a sudden urge to plead with @MIREPURR to not say it clawing at her tongue.
But no one who's free-falling ever gets to decide when the ground meets them, now, do they?
Although the woman has never been shy with her overt flirting, this - like everything else involving Chilledstar - feels different. There is a distinct lack of elegance when it comes to being vulnerable, a fact Duckshimmer is becoming more and more acquainted with the longer she spends her time...padding after her leader. She thinks about the stares she's sure to receive, the rumors, the blow to her, admittedly not the shiniest, but still well-maintained reputation. Not that falling for the leader of Shadowclan is something cats would look down on, but that this woman is capable of loving - of longing to settle down - is a marr against her that she isn't sure she can handle. To commit herself to another person, to the vulnerability that feels so messy and claustrophobic; so fragile and flighty, could the prim and proper chocolate tortie bring herself to...fall?
Small and childish, she grumbles to herself as she presses her nose into Chilledstar's nest, reflecting on the pros and cons of pursuing something so... Close when she's only ever known arm's length. It's difficult to maintain that list of cons, however, when she allows her eyes to close, envisioning Chilledstar's figure blocking the starlight as they return from their midnight patrol. "Are you alright?" they'll ask her, as though Duckshimmer's wellbeing is the most important thing to them. It isn't, Duckshimmer knows this - nothing will come between Chilledstar and their clan...but that's exactly what makes Duckshimmer's heart melt for her foolishly altruistic leader. How incredibly silly - small, childish, inelegant - of Duckshimmer to not mind being second-place, happy to admire Chilledstar from that out-of-reach high rock of theirs.
In the daytime, anyway.
But at night, when the sun is gone and the air is cold, Chilledstar will be Duckshimmer's alone.
Pressing herself deeper into Chilledstar's nest, Duckshimmer - eyes closed - allows herself to smile. Selfish as she is, she's happy to wait patiently for them to return, keeping their nest warm in the same way they do for her.
Love, what a silly, childish, inelegant concept...
And so utterly foolish of her to believe falling came without broken bones.
Commotions break through the cricket song. Duckshimmer almost ignores it, half dozed off in her leader's perfumed scent and the contented feelings that come with it. But the pounding of paws and murmuring of voices soon become calls and cries, and suddenly Duckshimmer is on her feet, fur bristling. If she could tell the future, Duckshimmer would've chosen instead to curl right back into Chilledstar's nest, savoring their scent - their warmth - for as long as possible before the fall became a crash. Instead, the woman leaves Chilledstar's nest, their den, for what will be the very last time, unaware and unprepared for that to be her final taste of that elusive warmth.
"What's going on?" she demands, keeping her voice calm despite the shocked and pained looks of all those around her as they greet the late patrol returning home. Her eyes lock first onto Sneezepaw and Singepaw, both of her sons red-eyed and shaken. She feels her shoulders stiffen, her heart close behind. She's breathless despite not moving another inch, as though the act of looking up and meeting Mirepurr's gaze was a marathon she'd run without a single step.
She doesn't bother asking, she knows the answer is a breath away.
Her lips twitch, a sudden urge to plead with @MIREPURR to not say it clawing at her tongue.
But no one who's free-falling ever gets to decide when the ground meets them, now, do they?
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GENERAL:
⚜ Duckshimmer
⚜ DFAB— She/Her — Bisexual
⚜ 33 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
⚜ Mother to Singepaw, Swallowpaw and Sneezepaw
⚜ Shadowclan — Warrior
COMBAT:
⚜Physically medium | mentally hard
⚜ Attack in bold #ffa98f
injuries: None currently