sensitive topics When You Have Today || Kitten Death || Say All That You Have To Say

[Lilacbird]

do you wanna know how it feels ​

Backwritten; 2-3 weeks after birth //

The spring morning warmth left a small breath from the molly as the light of dawn cascaded through the entrance of the nursery and outlined the forms of the kittens. Her kittens- their lilac and cream hues intertwining in a mess she had yet to lick clean, afraid to break their trance of peaceful sleep all too soon.

But she couldn't resist, her tongue rasping over the kittens with care and delicacy. Their forms squirmed, except one.

One small soul who'd spent her mere weeks with nothing but struggle- a tiny being who's cries would be weak, haggard, raspy. But she had hoped that Starclan wouldn't deprive her of the beautiful body. An alarmed whimper escaped her as she nudged her head into the kitten gently, before pulling back with her face holding pure terror.

She didn't pray to Starclan often, but to thank them for the meals they provided her clan and to wish them luck in battles that would be coming- but the nights had slowly filled with desperate cries in her sleep, begging they don't take one so young.

Lilacbird was smart. She knew they did not take the child without reason; alas the child was free from suffering of poor breath. Yet she desperately felt the need to be greedy as tears streamed down the cream and lilac face, blue eyes wide in horror as her paws gripped the body of her child taken so soon.

"C-cottonkit-" she barely choked out, licking the childs side, desperately hoping it was a sick nightmare she awoke from. But as waking bodies stirred, she knew the truth.

It's not your fault. Moonpaw did everything such a young medicine cat could do. You did everything you could.

Yet the thoughts to reassure herself failed to actually reach her ears. "I'm so sorry- Cottonkit. I should've d-done... So much more for you."

There will be a time to wail later. She knew the screams of the pain she felt would cause more alarm than necessary. "My- b-baby.. I love you so much."

​

do you wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me
she/her ⋆ 31 moons old ⋆ lilac tortie with blue eyes ⋆ information