private Who lives who dies who tells your story || Chilled

[Ripplestream~]

[ ༻ 𖤓 ༺ ] Ripple had only been in the clan for a moon by now, still learning the ways of the clan while also working hard to try and prove himself to the clan, and mostly his own eldest sibbling, which has proven to be difficult. Yet today had started off different, Chilledstar, their leader and eldest sibling had pulled Ripple aside to talk alone which left a confused look in his hazel gaze. "Is...is ev..everything alright?" they softly asked, stumbling over their own tongue and words.

Had Ripple done something that would warrant Chilledstar to wish to speak alone with them? Ears flicking a bit as they looked around slightly while shuffling his paws slightly keeping a respectful distance to the other. After all, the two hadn't exactly started on the right paws together and he was sure Scorchfrost reported everything that Ripple did to their leader. What they weren't expecting was Chilledstar to explain their own experience with their own father, or the family situation.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── I am my own man I make my own luck ──┐‎

• 
  "speak""Thoughts"
  
• 
  Ripple 𖤓 AMAB, He/They, Loner, 25 moons.
  ⭃ LH short Black tom with vitiligo and hazel eyes
  ⭃ Jagged X NPC
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted (ask first) / / underline and tag when attacking
  ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by Ryn ↛ @/Rynnaro on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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@CHILLEDSTAR.

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

there is a certain level of untamed jealousy that dances in sync with all out rage. parts of them wonder if they are okay, with how angry they feel. it didn't make the most logical sense for them to be angry, but deep deep down within them is just a scared kit, watching and waiting for their father to come back. wanting to feel protected and loved all the same by both mother and father. but it didn't work that way. their father didn't love them. he hates them, and he probably thinks them dead, now, by his own paws. it's truly unfortunate that they still live. and even more unfortunate that they still crave their father's love, even more now that they're aware that he is very capable of it. clearly. ripple had it. rook had it. their siblings had it. so why hadn't chilledstar and serpentspine been able to feel the same?

"why would it be?"

their voice is cold, as they look up to firmly look their sibling in the eye. their tail lashes behind them and they snort.

"tell me. right now. how was jagged to you? was he a good and kind father? honest? there for you when you needed him?"

———————---***ALL OF MY FEELINGS ARE GONE***———————---​

I LEFT 'EM ALL ON THE FLOOR✧ MAN WHO'S TO BLAME IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME NO MORE

•  
• — black feline with a white marking across their face, a white chin, a white right front paw, and blue eyes. chilledstar is covered in scars, the most prominent ones being the one across their face, and the one across their neck.
  — 44 moons old; ages the 3rd every month
  — they / them pronouns
  — aromantic / homosexual ; currently not looking / looking
  — child of JAGGED and RAVEN
  — shadowclan ; loyal to shadowclan ; other info if applicable
  — mildly difficult to befriend ; trusts barely anyone; trusts no one outside of shadowclan
  — "speech", thoughts, attacking
  — peaceful powerplay allowed

​

​

 

[Ripplestream~]

[ ༻ 𖤓 ༺ ] Ripple didn't understand why Chilledstar had come off so cold, but then again he didn't know what their sibling had to endure, what their father did that had cause her anger. He didn't know that their own father had abandoned Chilledstar and Serpentspine, to them he had been a good father even if he wasn't always there for them or their siblings.

When their cold words frosted his ears a slight frown peered through on his lips at their words. Was his training not going so well as he thought? Is that why Chilledstar had pulled them aside to talk to them? Of course they were not prepared to hear what they were about to ask, something that made a breath of air push through his chest. "Our dad...J-Jagged wa-wasn't always th-there bu-but he made att-attempts... he-he never ke-kept sec-secrets fr-from us....h-he to-told u-us he cared" they expressed through tied and awkward words before jerking his head back slightly and hazel eyes glued onto Chilledstar's cold blue gaze.

"Wh-why d-do y-you as-ask?" they questioned with a slight frown on his lips, why did Chilledstar care so much to know how Jagged wss to Rook and Him? Did he not treat them the same? Or, yet even better than that of his littermates? Chilledstar and Serpentspine grew up not knowing who they were, why Ripple, Rook and their other kin knew who they were, so...why was Chilledstar interrogating them about Jagged? Did they believe Jagged sent them here with ill intent...?

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── I am my own man I make my own luck ──┐‎

• 
  "speak""Thoughts"
  
• 
  Ripple 𖤓 AMAB, He/They, Loner, 27 moons.
  ⭃ LH short Black tom with vitiligo and hazel eyes
  ⭃ Jagged X NPC
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted (ask first) / / underline and tag when attacking
  ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by Ryn ↛ @/Rynnaro on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​

 

[CHILLEDSTAR.]

in the midst of trying to keep cool enough to not snap, they've turned to just being cold. it doesn't hurt them. they don't feel remorse, or even guilt, about it because they do not care for ripple in the same way they care for serpentspine. not because they don't share a mother, but because it seems they do not share a father. the jagged they knew is different. a liar. a cheat. a cat who pretended to care but in reality, all he wanted was serpentspine, and when chilledstar would not give him... it cost them.

"cared? he said he cared about you?"

they ask. the coldness melts under the pure and fiery gaze they hold, teeth baring towards ripple with a loud hiss dancing across their tongue.

"he cared! he cared about you! bet he said he loved you, too, huh!? came to visit!? somewhat raised you!? what a joke!"

they dont even realize that tears have started to cloud their gaze. they full on begin to cry as they get more and more angry. why couldn't he love them? care about them? raise them? why weren't they good enough? would they ever be? they doubt it. they don't know why they want to be loved by him so bad. it feels pathetic to want to be loved by someone who didn't want to give them the time of day but they can't help it. he's supposed to love them. to raise them. to care for them. he was supposed to want to keep them safe above all. but he doesn't. he didn't. never would.

"did you know that the leaders of all the clans are blessed by the stars? starclan gives us lives. we are supposed to use these lives and sacrifice. sacrifice, and continue to live until the last life is ripped from our bodies and we are left to be cold and bleeding husks upon this world. most are left bleeding into the grasses, as the worms crawl, and we become crow food. your father took one from me. killed me, his first born, in cold blood. all because he wanted serpentspine and couldn't have him, so he tried to take magpiepaw and I wouldn't let him. I wouldn't let him, and so we fought. he killed me. I wasn't even fully dead when he went scrambling off, probably to go and tell you how much he loves you. and cares for you."

they angrily wipe the tears from their eyes, that have begun to burn terribly to the point of barely being able to keep their eyes open.

"we do not share a father. the tom you know is not the same tom serpentspine and i know. never will be. and i am pretty sure a part of me will always wonder why you, and rook, and the rest of your littermates are so much better than I am that he couldn't ever tell me he cared. or that he truly loved me. what makes you better than me? what makes you more worthy?"

theyre trying to remain angry but it dissolves to sadness. was it so wrong to wish to be loved by their father?

———————---***ALL OF MY FEELINGS ARE GONE***———————---​

I LEFT 'EM ALL ON THE FLOOR✧ MAN WHO'S TO BLAME IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME NO MORE

•  
• — black feline with a white marking across their face, a white chin, a white right front paw, and blue eyes. chilledstar is covered in scars, the most prominent ones being the one across their face, and the one across their neck.
  — 45 moons old; ages the 3rd every month
  — they / them pronouns
  — aromantic / homosexual ; currently not looking / looking
  — child of JAGGED and RAVEN
  — shadowclan ; loyal to shadowclan ; other info if applicable
  — mildly difficult to befriend ; trusts barely anyone; trusts no one outside of shadowclan
  — "speech", thoughts, attacking
  — peaceful powerplay allowed

​

​

 

[Ripplestream~]

[ ༻ 𖤓 ༺ ] Chilledstar's words startled Ripple, confusion, and shock bloomed on their face. He had not expected his words to cause such anger in their older sibling, no he hadn't expect the other to start crying. Their words coming to a shock to Ripple. No, they were surprise even more to know their father had practically abandoned his other brood, and at the moment all they could do was listen to the words that came from Chilled, to listen to their pained words that befallen on his own ears while a frown peered on their lips.

They hadn't known, Ripple had thought...had believed Jagged had cared and had loved Chilledstar and Serpentspine, of course he would because he at least attempted to raise him and Rook and yet only to learn he abandoned them...his half siblings. They didn't even know what to say to Chilledstar, especially when all their own life they had wanted to meet his own half-kin since he was a kit, and now that they had a chance to, they were beginning to learn more and more about the truth of their own father.

He wasn't even sure what to say to Chilledstar, or what he could say to Chilledstar when it had been clear they were just now learning the truth about his own father. "I...I do-don't kn-know..Th-this is all ne-new to-to me... I-I'll b-be h-honest...I th-thought Ja-Jagged to-told yo-you ab-about us, bu-but h-he never did and.. I... I'm so-sorry... " he said softly, what else could he do? What else could he even say when he didn't know the answer to Chilledstar's question, to give them the reason to explain why Jagged had dedided to abandon his other brood.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── I am my own man I make my own luck ──┐‎

• 
  "speak""Thoughts"
  
• 
  Ripple 𖤓 AMAB, He/They, Loner, 25 moons.
  ⭃ LH short Black tom with vitiligo and hazel eyes
  ⭃ Jagged X NPC
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted (ask first) / / underline and tag when attacking
  ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by Ryn ↛ @/Rynnaro on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

​