who wants to fit in anyway | lichen

[Flycatcher]

Flycatcher was ashamed to admit he didn't really know Lichenpaw too well. Well, he did know him, as he knew most of his clanmates, but certainly not as well as he would have liked. Flycatcher had taken a particular interest in the apprentice and his well-being after the incident with Sunnyday. It was still a lot for him to process, much less understand what had happened so he could only imagine what it was like for Sunnyday's two apprentices.

When Flycatcher had assembled this patrol he had been a little wary about including Lichenpaw, unsure whether it was the right choice to bring him along, before ultimately deciding to do it. The apprentice was currently being trained by Blizzard Fang, a tom which Flycatcher had come to respect after putting him on a few patrols. So, when he had asked Blizzard Fang to come, it was natural that Lichenpaw would join too. The border patrol had gone well enough so far, the scents had been marked without problem, and there had been no signs of any neighbouring clans to dampen the mood. They were beginning the return journey when Flycatcher realised Lichenpaw had fallen back a little whilst the rest of the patrol had pressed on. The deputy stopped in his tracks and looked back to the apprentice, calling out to him softly. "Lichenpaw?" He mewed. When the younger cat would look at him, they would find an expression that was equal parts kind and concerned. "Are you alright?"

@LICHENPAW ​

 

[LICHENPAW ❁]

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I AM JUST A BROKEN MACHINE

Lichenpaw was lost in thought, as he seemed to be far more often these days. Another border patrol, tagging along after the deputy this time. It all felt to... rote. Pointless. Doing the same things every day, for what? Reinforce the border to protect ThunderClan, us against them. He'd tried so hard to commit to it, had argued for their leader, for the battle that'd feed their kits. They'd wanted so desperately to help this clan that'd taken them in, and all they'd gotten for it was a pelt full of bruises and a friend in the medicine den.

He still feels so apart from it all, now more than ever, a pretender going through the motions of ThunderClan routine and waiting for the moment where they realize he doesn't belong.

When Flycatcher's voice snaps him out of his reverie, Lichenpaw startles a bit, wide eyes coming to meet his. They find kindness there, sympathy, and something ugly and bitter rises up in them. Not him too, everyone looking at him like he's something to be pitied. "Yeah," he bites out, looking away. "I'm — I'm," he tries to soften the edge in his tone, but it ends up coming out more as tiredness than anything else. "— fine." He's fallen behind on the patrol, he notices belatedly. "Sorry, I'll, uh, try to keep up." That must be what prompted this. Making sure he can still do all the ThunderClan duties; Flycatcher is the deputy after all.

AND I DO THINGS THAT I DON'T REALLY MEAN !
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.°❁ info ; visual

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• LICHENPAW named for the lichen on the trees of his home.
  — he/him or they/them. 10 moons.
  — thunderclan apprentice, mentored by blizzard fang.
  — bears a near-permanent nervous grin.
  
  primary character, high activity. penned by saturnid. IC opinions :']​
• "SPEECH"
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