sensitive topics who's to know || seizure

[loampelt]

It happens again. Loampaw feels it coming this time: a rising sense of strangeness that is familiar enough to bring a brief bought of deja vu. He'd been upright before. Now he's pushing himself upright once again, equal parts exhausted and confused. Whatever questions Loampaw has are cut off by a dry heave. He lurches and nearly stumbles back down, but StarClan must be merciful tonight because Loampaw doesn't cough up anything more than foamy white spittle.

"Wha...?" Loampaw starts, inarticulate in such a small sound. Hunting patrol, he remembers. Birds? Time had passed in a blink for Loampaw, but he knows now from last time that his body had acted on its own. He shakes himself in an attempt to clear his mudslick pelt. Hunting patrol, birds, mud on his pelt. Loampaw puts it together just in time to remember that he's already put it together — he already knew.

"Where'd th-thuh-the birds...?" Gone, obviously. Loampaw must have scared them off when he'd done whatever it is he does. When his skull feels less hollowed out and brain feels less like it is trying to escape in a drumming pound pound pound from behind one of his eyes, he might have it in him to feel frustrated for the lost catch. Loampaw blinks and shakes his head and feels more and more like he's coming back to himself after every moment. ​

tags ∘ shadowclan apprentice ∘ solid black with hazel eyes ∘ curled front foot ∘ 11 moons​

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[✧ Siltcloud.]

THERE'S A HOLE IN MY SOUL ( I CAN'T FILL IT )
siltcloud | 12 months | female | she/her | physically medium | mentally hard | attack in bold #905d5d

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There has always been something different about loam. At first, it was just his paw - well, that was easy enough to ignore, and it had never bothered her friend. Then it had been his words, and his speech - again, not that uncommon in shadowclan and never an issue. But this - this was worrying. it is not the first time she has witnessed loampaw collapse, foaming and jerking and seeming to not know he is doing so. But - she'd thought starlingheart would've done something to help by now. So why was it happening again. Face goes slack for a moment at what she witnesses, the frog clasped in her jaws dropped the the ground and abandoned in favor of seeing if he is okay. "Who cares about the birds - are you alright?" No - of course he's not. She feels stupid for asking, a strange feeling in her chest. Her gaze snaps up sharply as she hovers at loam's side, fussing, and she turns to the nearest patrol member. "Somebody go get @STARLINGHEART . now!" She actually snaps. Its a rare sight, seeing siltcloud lose her composure, but she cannot think straight right now.
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[>Ratwater]

(=〃ﻌ〃=)ﾉ — Already in a hunched position, the molly was ready to show the younger of the patrol how to sneak up on a bird. It took precision. One flimsy paw motion while trying to clasp the flight-blessed creature could easily grant it an escape. As Ratwater began to open her maw to quietly explain what to do, it was soon interrupted by something to her rear. The prey heard it as well and took off. Mildly frustrated the molly would right herself to look back at the commotion only to catch the tail end of what Loampaw was experiencing. Amber eyes would falter from her annoyance as she looked over the unwell apprentice. There was no need for prompting, she'd cast a glance at Slitcloud as she snapped before turning tail back to camp. She made haste back, uncertain what had been going on with the young black tom. " @STARLINGHEART . !" The warrior would call out. "Loompaw needs you." — tags​

 

[S A B L E T U F T]

can we leave it behind? — The tuxedo waited alongside his sister with momentary glances between her and Loampaw. Making sure he was paying attention and not becoming distracted by something, or fooling around with Siltcloud. In the moment his sights fix on Ratwater again, he felt his chest rise in anticipation for her. The moment before she would pounce and send feathers flying.

The moment never came. Instead a pile of feathers remain from their prey's escape, and Sabletuft's head snapped sharply to Loampaw with a bitter retort at his tongue. His words are caught halfway. Loampaw is clearly not right, watching as the apprentice struggled to keep himself upright after already having hit the ground once. Ratwater is gone in a hurry, hunting all forgotten and Siltcloud remained at the boys side.

Sabletuft is confused how this could have happened. Unlike Siltcloud, he wasn't aware of Loampaw's history behaving this way. He turned to Siltcloud and asked, only because he knew the pair were close, "Have you seen this before? What's going on with him?" They would be forced to wait for Starlingheart for an answer on their next move. Sabletuft had never dealt with something life this before, but he couldn't imagine it right to force him to continue the day's work after this.— tags​

 

[Starlingheart]

"I'm here- I'm here. she would call out as she rapidly approaches the scene, running as fast as she can when she hears Ratwater calling her name, stating that a clanmate needs her. When she hears who it is, though, there is a sick feeling inside her stomach. The last time this had happened, the last time something involved Loampaw, she had no idea what to do. It was a frustrating thing- to not know- but it cannot be helped. Loampaw cannot be helped.

She looks to Siltcloud, to Sabletuft, all the cats who had gathered and then she fixes her green eyes on the cat who she had been called to help. "H-here I brought you these- these herbs just like- just like last time remember?" Flecks of foam still dot the apprentices mouth and with a small piece of moss she reaches up and dabs them away before passing the leaves over with a paw. Feverfew and Watermint, it was all she could think of.

This sickness was not like anything she knew.

"Let-let's get you back to my den- t-to a nest where you can- where you can lay down for a- for a bit. Can you- can you walk?" vaguely, she hears Sabletuft ask if this is something they had ever seen before and her mind flashes back to the first time it had happened but she doesn't answer, someone else could do that. All of her focus right now was on the black furred tom in front of her, on getting him back to her den so she could watch him. She knows there isn't much else she can do, especially not knowing what the shaking was or what was causing it.
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[CHILLEDSTAR.]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP​

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again. this happened again, and chilledstar looks over to starlingheart who seemed just as lost as they did. why? poor kid was worried about the birds when he should have worried about his own wellbeing. but kits will be kits, and at least he isn't freaked out too bad. with a gentle frown on their face, they move to stand nearby. there isn't anything they can do, except maybe offer their support.

"here... would you like me to help you up? i can also get you something nice to eat... if you're hungry, that is."

they don't know what else to do. they're not a medicine cat, and even if they were... it wasn't like any medicine cat knew what to do in a situation like this.
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[loampelt]

Embarrassment flares hot beneath Loampaw's pelt. The longer the time between the event and now, the clearer Loampaw finds his mind. Frustratingly, his thoughts trail behind him — always two steps away. An awareness of an issue that cannot be corrected, Loampaw is instead left with an itch in the back of his head and the knowledge that he's quicker on his feet than this. He should be laughing this off as he had last time, shooting off enough jokes to assuage his clanmates fears and bury his own.

"'M fine," Loampaw protests, but Siltcloud has already called for his help and Ratwater is already gone.

He doesn't like this feeling. He doesn't like feeling like a spectacle, or like there is something wrong with him, or like everyone else knows something about him that he doesn't. There have always been gaps in his memory and in his mind, and suddenly he is forced to be aware of them — if Loampaw could just remember what he had done to set so many concerned and confused eyes his way, he could find a better way to make everything normal once again.

Sabletuft sets him over the edge. He turns to Siltcloud, when Loampaw is right here, and suddenly his plumy tail is bristled.

"Maybe yuh-yuh-you can tr-tuh-tr-try asking me?" He snaps, and knows the thought wouldn't have ever occurred to Sabletuft. He doesn't seem to be aware that he can ask Loampaw anything.

He dodges Starlingheart's doting the best he can. Loampaw isn't angry with her, not truly, but he is abruptly not in the mood for any of this. He doesn't feel fine or normal, but he doesn't feel nearly bad enough to warrant this level of concern. It leaves him nearly as perturbed as he is frustrated.

"Save th-theh-them," Loampaw's voice comes out forceful, laced with his obvious annoyance, "I-eee-uh can walk uh-uh-and skip and — and juh-just about anything but climb uh-uh-a tr-tr-tree." Last time he had taken steps to prove his point, but this time Loampaw keeps his three good paws firmly planted to the muddy ground. He doesn't think he'll fall again but the thought that it would happen after he insisted that he wouldn't sits inside of Loampaw's skull.

The ground is slick, Loampaw tells himself. Anyone would be thoughtful about a fall.

"'M fine," Loampaw says again, this time to Chilledstar, "Cuh-cuh-could finish the patrol. It was juh-juh-just a —"

And then Loampaw cuts himself off, curled paw making a vague and stilted gesture. It isn't like how when the words get stuck in his throat sometimes, or how he cannot reach the words, but that what he was about to say is simply gone from his head. He clicks his tongue like this is just like those other times — like this is normal. Typical Loampaw with words that get stuck in his fangs; there isn't anything to worry about. If everyone could just move along now. ​

tags ∘ shadowclan apprentice ∘ solid black with hazel eyes ∘ curled front foot ∘ 11 moons​

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[>Ratwater]

— The molly would trot after Starlingheart, her amber gaze on the medically versed she-cat as Ratwater moved to stand beside her brother. Concerned glances were casted from one feline to another, her eyes settling on Sabletuft for a moment. No one knew anything. "This hunt is over." She'd state, lacking the cushion of empathy as she looked to the apprentice that had them all worried. "The bird's gone, the track is in the air. There's no point in exerting ourselves out here anymore." Her words were curt and somewhat abrasive but the tom was already responding so well to being concerned over, this was her solution. "I think there was something Halfshade wanted you to do back in camp anyways, if you're as fine as you claim." That wasn't exactly true but whatever would work.— tags​