- Aug 26, 2022
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[Tw: Minor emetophobia mention near the end.]
He tucked his lone front paw in, plume of a tail curling around himself as he stared out of the den into the camp clearing where the collective of kits were all playing and roaming about, leaving him to sit in the silent darkness for a moment longer. Sunfreckle blinked, dots floating before his eyes and the strange edge of exhaustion that had been filling his head for days was emphasized with a churning wave of dizziness. The red tabby closed his eyes and he stopped, but the sensation of having a head full of clouds didn't fade. Both green eyes moved from staring outside, the bright light was starting to hurt his eyes so he fixated his gaze on bits of mouse bone fragments in the corner that a warrior would come to clean for them later; the mouse he'd given to Little Wolf saying he'd eaten already that day. The tiny lie wasn't a big deal, but he still felt bad for it; lying didn't come easy to him and he didn't like doing it but how else would he explain that he couldn't eat. There was a hollowness inside him that felt more and more giant by the day, prey would just be swallowed up in it; it'd be wasted on him. When prey was brought he often hid it in his nest, carried it back to the freshkill pile later that night when the camp slumbered. Sunfreckle wondered if anyone had noticed, how strictly was it counted and guarded. He didn't want to waste food though...
The sound of kitten's laughing made his ears twitch and he looked up again with a tight smile, watching them barrel over one another and rolling about. Sometimes he wished he'd gotten to have a kithood here; being able to grow alongside friends in a warm and safe place. It didn't seem like a lot but it was comforting all the same. Having lifted his head back up sent another ripple of pain through his head that coursed down his throat into the pit of his stomach and he felt it biting into him too sharply. Sunfreckle rose with a stiff-legged wobble, briskly padded out of the den to step around the side, but didn't quite make it into the bushes before he heaved; back arching and fur bristling in a wretch but nothing came. He had nothing to lose, nothing to give, all that escaped him was a sickly yellow bile so minimal it all but vanished into the ground.