private WITH MY HANDS IN THE OCEAN, I PRAY | moonpaw

[salmonshade]

It's not too long after Salmonshade and Riverpaw return from their first official outing, the sun is setting, and the meeting was held earlier. He's dismissed to go do whatever he wants, Salmon doesn't care if its napping or conversing with his new denmates because her paws carry her straight to the medicine den. On their way back, Salmon had collected a bunch of flowers, weaving them in to her tail here and there. She has a mission, and that mission was hopefully helping Moonpaw feel better.

"Moonpaw...?" she pokes her head in and she feels her heart breaking for the young molly. She had known something was off when she had looked practically shellshocked on their way back to camp, but she didn't expect it to be... this... Without a mentor, she has to learn by herself. Salmon cannot imagine trying to learn all of the herbs, what they do, what they're used for with no help. Stars, how long were medicine apprenticeships anyways? "Do you mind if I come in?" her tone is gentle, with all of it that she could muster. Never maternal, but Moonpaw brings out a softer side that she is not used to.

Ravensong is gone, for good probably. Smokestar had said so himself, and so search patrols had ceased. Her heart breaks a bit more.

A small breath leaves her nose as she lingers awkwardly at the entrance. "If you want to talk... I'm here for you..." she offers lightly, treads carefully on the subject. It's not always easy opening up, Salmon knows this by heart. "...I brought you flowers, if you want them. I figured you could..." she trails off, leaving something unsaid for good measure. I figured you could make the space your own, it doesn't sound right to say in the moment.

₊˚.༄ info

• @Moonpaw
• 
  ❥ salmon ,, salmonshade
  ❥ cis female ,, she/her ,, 37 months
  ❥ warrior of riverclan ,, former marsh grouper
  ❥ fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with white, blue eyes
  ❥ "speech, ff91a4" ,, thoughts
  ❥ lesbian ,, single
  ❥ smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  ❥ chibi by pin ,, penned by chuff

​

 

[Moonbeam]

Since getting back from the moonstone the apprentice had done two things - talked with Smokestar and sleep. It was a restless sleep whether it be her not being used to sleeping so long, during this time of day, or simply because of that final sense of dread that was slowly leaving her and replacing itself as something more akin to mourning for a cat she was sure wasn't even dead. When Salmonshade had moved towards her den Moonpaw was waking up to try and do something for the day in the hope that she wouldn't sleep the whole thing away. As she heard her name being called the moggie found her head turning towards the noise, offering Salmonshade her own little forced smile in greeting before she shook her head at her question. "I don't mind." She'd be allowed within the den whenever she wanted, responsible enough to not get into things that she shouldn't as well as being a cat Moonpaw trusted with her life, there would never be a need to ask.

She moves up out of her nest as Salmonshade lingers at the entrance before she paused slightly at the offer to talk and silently she nods for a moment. "I might take you up on that later." She was sure she would actually, whether it be simply talking about that feeling that Moonpaw had felt then or about what she's feeling now, both dreadful in their own ways. When her former mentor continued to speak she couldn't help the way her ears pricked slightly at the words. Flowers. Salmonshade had brought her flowers. "Thank you, I'll always take flowers." Genuine small smile crept up onto her face then, whether she had the room or not she'd make the space for flowers, especially ones given to her by those close to her, the flowers that had thought behind them.

A STRAWBERRY AVALANCHE ꕥ CRASHED OVER ME

• --
• 
  MEDICINE CAT IN TRAINING;
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ FLESH WOUNDS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ INFECTIONS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ ACHES & PAINS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ ILLNESS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ BREATHING ISSUES
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ TRAVELING HERBS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ BROKEN BONES
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ KITTING
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ POISONS
• 
  ꕥ SH white masking cinnamon torbie w/orange eyes & small ears
  ꕥ speaks softly & often found humming
  ꕥ 11 moons old; ages the 17th every month
  ꕥ homosexual homoromantic ; interested in beepaw & redacted
  ꕥ currently being mentored by ravensong
  ꕥ easy to befriend/interact with ; hard to anger/upset
  ꕥ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ꕥ easy in combat unless in water, focuses on defensive tactics
  ꕥ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[salmonshade]

I don't mind, Salmon dips her head and enters, sweeping herself up to take up as little space as possible at first. The flowers in her tail feel incredibly weird all of the sudden, and shes made aware of a few odd looks she had gotten entering camp. Salmonshade never decorates her fur, always well-groomed, but never dressed up.

She nods. Moonpaw doesn't want to talk immediately and she doesn't want to intrude. "M' always here... I'll make time when you're ready." she promises the young molly with a nod.

The mention of flowers seem to perk her up. Salmon finds herself glad. "I found some orange ones coming back to camp... Reminded me of you." she mumbles, barely audible as she combs an unsheathed paw through her tail fur, gently plucking them from their confines. She lays them in front of her as if too much movement would break them- perhaps it would, if she jerked too fast she'd tear through the petals. Something so fragile has no right to be as pretty, colorful as flowers were. Temporary joy... Salmon swallows hard, scrunching her nose. She's psyching herself out for no reason.

The silence that follows is suffocating. Maybe it lasts for minutes, maybe it lasts for mere seconds but shes desperate to get rid of it. "It's... quite a big place, in here." all for her. And that seems... lonely. Sad, really. Not for Moonpaw herself, but for the circumstance the young girl had found herself in. It's funny, she lets a small frown turn her lips downwards. How the Stars thought I failed you, only to fail you in turn.

Perhaps even the dead make mistakes... It's an odd thought that she decides she won't dwell on. Maybe they weren't all-knowing as Salmon had once believed them to be... Maybe they were just like them, still figuring things out.

"Do you want help decorating it...?" the words tumble out of her mouth before it even blooms within her thoughts. She's not sure why she offered. She has never had a knack for pretty things, or decorating, or coordinating colors, or- "You can make it your own space." she turns her head to look at Moonpaw and immediately she feels like shes overstepped as the tactless words leave her mouth, taking a single step backwards; caution flashes in her gaze. Get out, she can practically hear Moonpaw saying. But its not her voice in her thoughts, because shes never heard her former apprentice upset... She sharply inhales and turns her head to stare at the wall.

₊˚.༄ info

• 
  ❥ salmon ,, salmonshade
  ❥ cis female ,, she/her ,, 37 months
  ❥ warrior of riverclan ,, mentoring riverpaw
  ❥ fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with white, blue eyes
  ❥ "speech, ff91a4" ,, thoughts
  ❥ lesbian ,, single
  ❥ smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  ❥ chibi by pin ,, penned by chuff

​

 

[Moonbeam]

She was glad that Salmonshade wasn't prying, she knew that the other wouldn't - never would really - but it was good to have that confirmation, that small little bit of information that tells her that she had a cat she could trust by her side. There wasn't a lack of those, but it was still good to have the confirmation either way. Quietly she listened as the other spoke of the flowers as she carefully pulled them from fur and placed them down, and somehow even quieter she nodded her head at Sal's comment of the den being a big place.

It was a big place, one that she had thought so huge that it was daunting, but she'd grown used to it just as she had grown used to the size of the apprentice den and how it was so much bigger than the nursery at the time. There were nights where she felt lonely, especially those ones so soon after Ravensong had left and though she was getting used to that once more she didn't think she would ever get used to the rotating clanmates that would sleep in there some nights, wheezing and coughing or having the potential to bleed out only to get better and move on back to the den they had been in once before. It was when the tortie spoke of decorating, asking if she wanted help did Moonpaw snap out of her thoughts and eyes looked to the other.

It took a moment to respond, thoughtful frown glued to face as she processed before maw open then shut once more before she finally found her words. "I don't... I don't know." She watched as the other took a step back and inside she wished to tell her to stop, to not leave, as she'd done nothing wrong, at least not in Moonpaw's own mind. "I don't even know where I'd start though I guess I'd have to eventually." Eyes cast away for just a moment, looking around at the dug out caves in the ground with their own organization, the way Ravensong had liked it, with the nests laid out in such a way to make things easier for him, and though she didn't want to change it in case he came back, she knew deep down that it wouldn't be soon if ever or else StarClan would not have given her that sign. She'd look back to Salmonshade then, head nodding slightly as she did so, "When the time comes, when it feels right, I'll seek you out."

A STRAWBERRY AVALANCHE ꕥ CRASHED OVER ME

• --
• 
  MEDICINE CAT IN TRAINING;
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ FLESH WOUNDS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ INFECTIONS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ ACHES & PAINS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ ILLNESS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ BREATHING ISSUES
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ TRAVELING HERBS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ BROKEN BONES
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ KITTING
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ POISONS
• 
  ꕥ SH white masking cinnamon torbie w/orange eyes & small ears
  ꕥ speaks softly & often found humming
  ꕥ 11 moons old; ages the 17th every month
  ꕥ homosexual homoromantic ; interested in beepaw & redacted
  ꕥ currently being mentored by ravensong
  ꕥ easy to befriend/interact with ; hard to anger/upset
  ꕥ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ꕥ easy in combat unless in water, focuses on defensive tactics
  ꕥ peaceful powerplay allowed

​

 

[salmonshade]

Moonpaw hesitates and shame immediately washes over her in a wave. It was too early to offer, she knew it, she should have waited. With the responsibility all of the sudden thrust upon the ivory girls shoulders, shes not surprised to hear that shes unsure of redecorating.

"You don't have to start now. You don't have to start ever, if it doesn't feel right." Salmon's tail twitches. "Sometimes the right time is never. And thats okay." she's quick to try and reassure Moonpaw, though any advice on coping is lost. She can only offer support. The only loss Salmonshade had been through was her mother, and even then, shes still not one hundred percent over the passing. Her coping mechanisms include just ignoring the feelings of grief when they arise and so she just clamps her mouth shut, not wanting Moonpaw to grieve in the wrong way.

"Do you... need help with organizing...?" her voice is awkward, trying to find something to help take the stress off her back with except for the fact that Moonpaws den feels pretty damn organized already. "Well... Anyways," she hesitates before stepping forwards, aiming to give Moonpaw a comforting lick on the head and then stepping back towards the entrance. "If you need anything, just let me know..." she trails off, and then adds, "You're doing great. And i'm... proud, of you." the words tumbling awkwardly out of her mouth are oddly spoken, but genuine. She had told Moonpaw once before that she was proud, but not recently, and she deserves to know it.

𝙼𝙰𝚈𝙱𝙴 𝙸𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 ଳ⋆｡˚ 𝙼𝙰𝚈𝙱𝙴 𝙸𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚁

• 
  ❥ salmon ,, salmonshade
  ❥ cis female ,, she/her ,, 38 months
  ❥ warrior of riverclan ,, mentoring riverpaw
  ❥ fluffy & dainty chocolate tortie smoke with white, blue eyes
  ❥ "speech, fd9367" ,, thoughts
  ❥ lesbian ,, single
  ❥ smells like warm flowers & freshly cut grass
  ❥ chibi by pin ,, penned by chuff

​

 

[Moonbeam]

Silent head nod slowly in thought as a response to the other, soft frown gracing the white feline's features as she looked around the den. "I feel like I'll need to, eventually." She'd offer the other in response, tail flicking for a moment before she looked back to her former mentor. "It feels right to do that, just not now... once things calm down maybe, when I feel more prepared." When she was a true medicine cat, trained in full - however that would happen - she would reorganize the den, move the nests around so that she could work within her own space instead of within Ravensong's.

Smile once more graced her face as the tortie offered help with organizing and the younger feline couldn't help but let a small laugh escape her. "Thank you Salmonshade, you don't need to worry thought I promise." The awkward tone of her voice gives her away that She was just doing this to try and make Moonpaw feel better, to offer her help in coping whether it be with cleaning or simply speaking and though it didn't work likely in the way Salmonshade had probably wanted it to, it was working nonetheless.

Tongue rasped against her head and Moonpaw watched as the other moved back towards the entrance. Head nod once more in response to the first statement before she paused once more - "Thank you, again. For everything." It was a comfort to know that despite all Salmonshade had been through that she was still proud of Moonpaw.

A STRAWBERRY AVALANCHE ꕥ CRASHED OVER ME

• --
• 
  MEDICINE CAT IN TRAINING;
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ FLESH WOUNDS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ INFECTIONS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ ACHES & PAINS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ ILLNESS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ BREATHING ISSUES
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ TRAVELING HERBS
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ BROKEN BONES
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ KITTING
  — ꕥꕥꕥꕥꕥ POISONS
• 
  ꕥ SH white masking cinnamon torbie w/orange eyes & small ears
  ꕥ speaks softly & often found humming
  ꕥ 11 moons old; ages the 17th every month
  ꕥ homosexual homoromantic ; interested in beepaw & redacted
  ꕥ currently being mentored by ravensong
  ꕥ easy to befriend/interact with ; hard to anger/upset
  ꕥ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ꕥ easy in combat unless in water, focuses on defensive tactics
  ꕥ peaceful powerplay allowed

​