camp words as weapons // oh...?

[sunshinespot]

[ tldr sunboy kitted alone in the night because he feared making anyone face the loss of a queen he's alive and well just soooo so so insanely tired and scared ]
[ @.sneezekit get borned silly ] [ @GENTLESTORM dont b mad i didnt want 2 bother u ] [ @doepath ࿔ +1 to our family ]

Being alone is not a fear that Sunshinespot has confronted until this past week. The blizzard has ended and though most of the snow has melted, the chill has not left. His lover - his beautiful, wonderful, alive mate and friend - has been sequestered to the medicine den to be watched and monitored. Her kits (their kits,) stay with her, for she is their life. She is all they will need and more, and in this time of pain and sacrifice, the only soul she needs is Gentlestorm.

He cannot make the walk anymore. He does not complain of the aches that clutch him, even as they come hourly. He dwells in his solitary, suffers in his silence. Even his usual smile is gone, replaced with a sudden grief and endless well of fear.

Is he next? A wave of pain in the middle of the night. His paws twitch, urging him to move forward. He can beg Gentlestorm for help, but solemnly he thinks, will he? If he asks his sisters, will they know what to do? Is he no better than a fool, doomed like his fathers? Does StarClan hurt those around the damned as signs for what is inevitable?

Another wave. A whimper does not even reach his lips as he recedes further into the back of the nursery. Nightbird's kits have left its protection, Badgerstripe's sleep soundlessly in her nest. He is so alone. He curls up and weathers the pain in silence. If he must die... if this is what claims him, rather than the canines of a hound or the claws of a traitor, then maybe the world will be righted. Maybe if he holds to himself, if he leaves the world in nothing more than a final breath, then he will cause the least amount of damage.

He thinks of the fear and pain and longing he felt as Doepath drifted away. He thinks of how Hopepaw and Gentlestorm worked in a flurry of paws. He cannot do that to them. He cannot be a waste of herbs and effort.

Tears trail his muzzle and he searches the shadows for familiar faces. The pain is diabolical at times, and he waits each time for it to be the last. He waits to see Rabbitnose, Sunfreckle, Mousenose, more... The shadows never glitter with starlight. Even the skies leave his company abandoned.

Morning arrives, the frost outside shines light into the den. Even long before it does, a new life has been brought into the world. Sunshinespot cradles her, a kitten of darkness and light, against his belly, stroking his curly-furred tail against her back. She is well cleaned, he is well maintained enough. Fatigue holds his head up, bobbing as he desperately stays awake against his best judgement. The fear, despite the relative ease of his kitting, has not left him. If he sleeps, then he leaves. It tremors him as if he is chilled, and he circles tighter around his wheezing kit.

Gentlestorm will find them soon... Sunshinespot is in no rush to bother the tom.​

 

[doepath ࿔]

It wasn't far off from being a home away from home... that little spot in the medicine cat's den that had time and again been her resting place. The miasma of memory and smell of festering wounds seeking to heal... Familiar and unwelcome in equal measure.

By the time his fur lays flat enough to stop growling at every shadow that nears her, she has missed too much. To carry four is unreasonable in one go and even with the help of a bristling hound, it will take more than one trip... They will be alright, tucked safely where Hopepaw lingers, reciting what she can to commit to memory. With Braveheart, who struggles to find moments of clarity in his pain. Pushing through the threshold of the nursery with a swatch of pale fur (it is far too light to belong to her, she thinks skeptically... unaware it will darken with age like her own once had), she expects to find Sunshinespot snoozing peacefully so she might just curl herself close and join him-

But he isn't alone anymore.

There is a small intruder, one adorned in shadow and sun-spark tufts... pulled tightly to his belly as if to be hidden. If it wasn't for the streaks of flame-colored fur, she might not have noticed it. Surprise passes quickly, replaced expeditiously with frustration- a dandelion glare finds Gentlestorm immediately, assuming this a surprise he'd withheld from her. The kit she'd been carrying is deposited in the warmth of her belly fur, placing a foreleg in front of them like a bar of a cage so they are secure while she struggles to keep a lid on her rising anger. "Why didn't you tell me? I should've been here," she croaks, an exasperated lash of her tail a quick addition.

If she plans to dig into him further, it goes forgotten when a small hitch of breath catches her ears- "Gentlestorm..." Do you hear that? A frail wheeze of newborn lungs... that can't be normal. She gathers up the kit she'd rested on the ground for a moment, hurrying on unsteady paws to join her mate, pressing her cheek against his and growing pained by the dampness of his own.

Immediately the fawn busies herself with plopping one of her own litter close, abandoning them there in favor of giving this newer kit a nervous couple of sniffs. "Are you okay?" The sweltering heat of jealousy roils in her belly... that there is just one. That it explains all of his ease over the last several moons while she'd been miserable. Shove it down, was all that could be done right now.

"I'll be right back- We're missing some of our family," the she-cat forces a small purr, trying to take comfort in that word, knowing that's what they'd created. It would improve... she could get past the thorns that line her throat.

It doesn't take long to hurry past Gentlestorm, to make the return journey with the last little pieces of their puzzle. Five... Part of her is relieved for Sunshinespot's small contribution, uncertain how they would've managed if they'd each had more kits than their paws could carry. "Everyone's here," grumbled in a low murmur, oblivious to the thinning of emerald eyes as they grow more and more heavy. "We're okay..." Whatever was making that little kit's breathing so raspy, Gentlestorm would fix it.

He always did.

please dont leave me ➺ in the dark

• DOEPATH
  fifteen month old warrior of thunderclan
  she/her fawn sepia with low white and yellow eyes

 

[GENTLESTORM]

༄.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — He had wanted to make sure that Doepath would be well after her kitting seeing as she had lost quite a bit of blood and he's fearful of her leaving his sight, he didn't wish the same fate of Leopardtongue to befall the fawn-like molly. Today, she's to leave his den and he watches as the new mother picks up one of the paler kits that his dark eyes linger for a few heartbeats wondering if Doepath had been that colorless as a kitten or even himself. It makes her ear twitch wondering if the small kitten would remain that way but he doesn't dare ask instead, the giant glances in the direction of the other squirming kittens that are within the nest and he debates if he should help or not. Their argument lingering in the back of his mind as his jaws tightens at the memory of it and he decides that he would help her only if she asked for it, he's fearful of harming such small creatures and doesn't wish to risk it.

"Go on then- bite."

The marred hound swallows a strained whimper only to tear away his gaze from the kittens not daring to take a step closer and simply follows after the queen towards the nursery with empty jaws. He slips into the den with his snout wrinkling immediately at the smell of dried blood and the scent alone is enough to make the fur along his spine begin to rise, he doesn't get a chance to register what has happened when he feels the glare of Doepath on him.

"Why didn't you tell me? I should've been here." She seems to accuse him as if he were some beast that couldn't be trusted for anything and a frown pulls at the sides of his mouth deciding that he should make it clear that he hadn't known either, "I didn't... know either... no one came for me... he didn't... send anyone..." Why do you think I'd hide this from you? He wishes to ask but the words are swallowed when the sound of a wheeze catches his attention.

If Hopepaw had followed them, he would turn his head in her direction only to speak "Hopepaw... go get a raspberry leaf, little bird... please..." His tone soft only to glance towards Sunshinespot once more and he wishes that he could tell the queen that it had been foolish of him to not tell anyone or even himself so he could've provided aid but his firm gaze should say enough and his helm tilts at the sound of weak wheezing from newborn lungs. Truthfully, both queens that stood before him are rather foolish for becoming heavy with kittens when leaf-bare had been creeping around the corner and ready to pounce, it seems that the little unnamed kit that Sunshinespot hides from him suffers from breathing the cold air.

When Doepath ambles away from the nursery to collect the rest of the kittens without saying another word to him, the medicine cat focuses on the bottlebrush tail belonging to the mottled tom and parts his jaws to speak "Show me..." A part of him wishes to simply look upon the small scrap of fur but the other part knows that he must check over them to ensure that they'd live throughout another cold night and he swallows at the thought. I'll protect you from the cold and death. Gentlestorm thinks silently unable to move his gaze from deaf ears and a pale little nose that seems to be visible through Sunshinespot's tail.

He could make it better... more bearable.

MORNING & EVENING, I FELT LIKE I WAS GRIEVING ᨒᨒᨒ UNTIL I SAID FUCK YOU

• ooc — speaking to @HOPEPAW

• 

  MEDICINE CAT KNOWLEDGE;
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦ FLESH WOUNDS
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧ INFECTIONS
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧ ACHES & PAINS
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧ ILLNESS
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧✧ BREATHING ISSUES
  — ✦✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧ TRAVELING HERBS
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✧✧ BROKEN BONES
  — ✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦ KITTING
  — ✦✦✦✦✧✧✧✧✧✧ POISONS
• 
  ✦ a longhaired blue sepia tom w/low white and copper eyes, several scars cover his body from previous fights that he somehow survived
  ✦ gentlestorm is rarely ever a warm individual and friendly to those who he meets, he proceeds with more caution and he's less likely to trust any strangers that come from outside of thunderclan. he tends to be jumpy if suddenly approached or flinches away from swift movement with his claws unsheathed when it occurs, he apologizes for it. his kindness reserved only for those closest to him otherwise anyone else can expect the cold shoulder from the old tom
  ✦ 61 moons old; ages the 27th every month
  ✦ widowed mate of little wolf ; currently interested in no one
  ✦ semi-difficult to befriend/interact with ; quick to strike/attack first if he feels threatened ; peaceful powerplay allowed but proceed with caution
  ✦ "speech", thoughts, attacking

​

 

[.sneezekit]

Life is a precious and rare thing, and she did not care. She had only known warmth for these past few moons. Alone in her limbo, the kitten had slept peacefully. There was only warmth despite the cold that raged outside. She had dreamt of blissful nothing and slept to the lullaby of the heart. Everything was as it should be. Until it wasn't.

The sudden shock of cold and the instinct to pull in air made in her desire violence. As much violence as her small, fragile body could muster. As soon as frigid air hit her pelt she was screaming. It was a thin, weak cry. Her lungs tried to pull in more air between mewls, but something was mechanically wrong. Her nose, despite being perfect and pink on the outside, was still full of fluid. NO amount of sucking in through her tiny nostrils seemed to clear it.

In the end, she resigned to opening her mouth and breathing that way. She wheezes and whined against her father's soft stomach. He was her only comfort in this new world.

More bodies gathered around the pair of them. She feels new warmth, new sensations, but all she can focus on right now is getting enough breath to keep her tiny body moving and working. Let the grown-ups handle the rest.

OOC: I'M GETTING A CODE MADE UP FOR HER I JUST WANTED TO GET THIS OUT!!!! I KNOW ITS UGLY I'LL FIX IT LATER!!!

 

[sunshinespot]

Foggy measures of space are taken up by new scents, new bodies. Sunshinespot hardly has the energy to ward them away from his gasping child, hardly the bandwidth to hiss or even greet. He's stayed up, alone, all night - he's listened to her screams and wants for air up until she decides her mouth a better alternative to breathing - and then some. There's noises, voices, and he keeps his head held upwards, his bleary gaze looking forwards, but he can hardly tell them apart.

One grows closer first, smelling of herbs and milk. The other lingers behind, much of the same though the latter leaves him with the kitten he deposits. Ah... effortlessly, a purr rumbles in his chest as he recognizes his lover. Doepath murmurs for his health to him, and he replies in a sluggish tone, "Jus'... jus' sleepy, is all..." But he's waited. He's waited for them, for her, for Gentlestorm. Something tells him now that if he rests, he will not waste away in his nest. Still, she promises more to be had and dips away on quick, light paws.

Gentlestorm idles before him as Doepath returns time and time again with more little lives - some more sniffly than others (or is that his own child?) The medicine cat sends off his apprentice before looking back to the unnamed kitten before him, uttering a stiff, "Show me." And unable to do much else but oblige, Sunshinespot nudges his tail away from his sickly daughter. His mouth is dry, but his discomfort means nothing as Doepath joins the rest of their family together. He looks over pelts paler than his partner, others perhaps as ruddy as some of their Clanmates. He thinks no different of them, simply glad that she returned with four rather than any smaller number. "I love you," he says, holding her gaze for as long as she'll allow.

Gentlestorm is remembered a fragment later, Sunshinespot resting his head against Doepath's finally. "She - she..." he loses himself, sleep so desperately clawing at his mind. His eyes click open and his mind whirls, "She can't... her nose..." his tail brushes over his daughter's dried pelt, eyes drifting closed once again.​