private YESTERDAY'S WISDOM // weaselclaw

[OLIVESHADE]

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'I fucking hate this.'


Even with all the ways she had fucked up with Nettlepaw, he was still her apprentice and life didn't seem intent to remove him from her watch. No matter how many moons she neglected him, how much she had proved herself to be an inept mentor, meeting after meeting after meeting would go by without change. Even her protests to his appointment to her when he was named were ignored. So she was stuck with him. She was stuck trying not to fuck this kid up by merely being in his life. 'I could just admit my failure, beg that the kid be given to someone else.....shit, what if that makes me seem like dead weight?' The thought made her stomach turn, and then it broiled in anger at the vulnerability. Stars she hated that rawness that prickled her skin, she hated feeling. It made her sick, made her think of things better left buried.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I'll just, figure something out. I can do that." Her head felt like it was spinning, as if nothing and everything was there. She needed to lay down.


Figure something out, that's what she told herself last night. Thats why she was sitting in camp after dawn patrol waiting for Weaselclaw to come back. Some would say it was a blow to a warrior's pride, to need to be mentored in how to mentor, but Oliveshade didn't have a warrior's heart to begin with. She didn't need one to survive all those moons before Windclan invaded the moors, and she damn well didn't need one now. She just, needed to make sure that kid stuck around long enough to get out of her fur. It was a necessary measure, something she needed to do to keep her home. It wasn't anything more.

When the patrols finally came back, she called out the older tom's name as she padded over, heads snapping in their direction at not only the odd conversational pairing, but Olive choosing to talk to anyone first. "Hey, uh, d'ya mind if I steal you for a chat? Need t'ask ya 'bout somethin'." Stars she sounded like her old man, it felt awful. ​

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[WEASELCLAW]

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮​

When he enters camp, he's greeted not by his mate or his apprentice, but by that tunneler he'd had the misfortune of shadowing during her battle training session. Weaselclaw drops the rabbit into the fresh-kill pile -- scrawny, but it'll feed a queen or a couple of kits -- and meets her gaze with surprise.

He has to admit, he hadn't expected her to seek him out -- not after the tongue lashing he'd given her after seeing Nettlepaw battered like an enemy warrior with no defensive skills. Weaselclaw blinks at her initially. "A chat? I'm kind of busy..." He glances over his shoulder and then sighs. Is this not also one of his duties as lead warrior? He tilts his head toward an area with less ears pricked, listening for conversation details, and nods for her to tell him what she wants.

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[OLIVESHADE]

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She scuffs her paws a bit. "When you came to watch the training...you didn't like the way I taught. The way I learned things." She chooses her words carefully, almost like a scolded kit. Its awkward to her, but seemingly not foreign to need to prevent lighting someone's fuse. Perhaps the explaination for that lay in 'her' teaching style. She lets out a small sigh before continuing. "I know it's supposed to be seen as a high honor for Sootstar to trust me with the next generation, but ya gotta understand that I'm not a kid person, so I thought that if I just ignored him, she'd give him to someone else."

Her body grows rigid, trying to keep itself from shaking. "Obviously...that didn't happen and now with the lack of mentors as is, I'm 'stuck' with him." Though her dislike of children is already in the air, she seems to be trying to lighten things with her joke, though its wary in its delivery. "I...wanted to ask you if you could teach me how to teach him, so he doesn't get himself killed because of my neglect."

"My reasons do not excuse my behavior but.....I thought I would apologize to him by doing better." Her words end in an ashamed half mumble, yet she does not elaborate on what those reasons are.​

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