YOU ARE THE WIND AT MY BACK | confession

[SILVERSMOKE]

Asking Auburnflame to meet him away from camp was bound to raise questions, not just in the fire-touched warrior, but in the Lead Warrior who cursed the very confidence he'd suddenly gained. Keeping to himself had been a specialty since the first day he had stepped foot in the pine colony, opinions were freely shared and duties were readily done, but anything personal had been kept under so many layers that Silversmoke didn't know what was real and what was a defensive mechanism. This felt real, but a part of him wished it didn't - it would be easier if it wasn't. The word 'mate' was an uncomfortable one, a reminder of the expectations placed upon him by a purebred lineage and a clan that fostered its growth on kits. But, with Auburnflame, it didn't seem so bad, it felt like it could be real, even if those domestic days could only exist in his dreams. A familiar shape caused the silver tabby's heart to wrench out of place, beating so hard against his ribcage that he swore it'd break after each new erratic thrash. He hadn't been expecting him so soon. The Lead Warrior gave a nod of greetings and brushed away stray brambles that had hitched a ride on his paws, smacking his teeth together and cursing the aridity of his mouth. It was like chewing on grains of sand, hardly a good distraction for someone second guessing.

"Look, I.... haven't been entirely honest with you." He started before his mind caught up. StarClan, would it be easier to run away? He looked behind him and took a deep breath. Empty air, naught but the trees and the distant chirps of birds too busy to bother with a cat who couldn't keep his feelings in check. It was only a small relief that they wouldn't give him any attention as he spoke. There was a lump in his throat that he gingerly swallowed and, as he turned his head back towards the calico, he tried to give the visage of confidence. He tried not to draw attention to his own eyes, which widened like flowers blooming from their buds as he met the minty hues of the warrior. Eye contact was difficult at the best of times, but with Auburnflame, it was like trying to stand his ground against a lion made of fire and brimstone. He wanted to burn in them, at least until he had gotten his answer. "We are good friends, yes, you've made that very clear. I thought I would be comfortable with leaving it at just that but.... when you're around, I never want you to leave. When you're gone, all I can think about is when you'll come back. I... think I love you, that's love, isn't it?" Or strong friendship, the idea had crossed his mind. Auburnflame, bold and social, would explain it to him, he was sure of it.

The large warrior bowed his head, moving his muzzle closer to Auburnflame, testing the waters. He didn't quite smile, too nervous to allow the expression to flourish, but he wasn't frowning either. Silversmoke held his maw with a hopeful up-turn and a slight, curious part - like he was looking at the very constellations themselves. "I want to be the moon to your sun; I want to complete you, and for you to complete me." His better half, his partner, someone he could rely on and someone who could rely on him. So many words he could apply to what he wanted the calico to be, so much more than mate, but then, a reminder of prior conversations. Silversmoke flinched and recoiled, bunching his paws closer together and looking away for a place to leave should things get awkward. Ears flattened as a metaphorical reality punched him in the face. "But I know you want to be just friends. I just... it wasn't fair for either of us to keep it secret. You don't have to feel the same way, I just wanted you to know. Sorry I... there's this hunting patrol I should be going on... I should... probably get going..." A side-eyed glance was offered in anticipation of the rejection - he hoped Auburn would at least appreciate the honesty.

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[Auburnflame]

A curiosity had been piqued within the usual disheveled warrior as Silversmoke had requested his audience outside of their bracken woven home. He presents himself with an all familiar smile, the apples of his cheeks raised to crease at the corners of his eyes. He had been growing rather more comfortable with the lead warrior by the day, each passing hour that was unbeknownst to him, their destinies would align more and more. He sets off after the ghostly tom, crimson tail swaying as it curled at the tip as he leaves the comfort of home.
He trails confidently under the canopy of pines that tower above them, boughs swaying in the breeze as pewter colored clouds smother the usual cerulean sky. A twinge of rain passed over his tongue, clearing the pollen of Green-Leaf and bringing with it a billowing breeze that was welcomed after these warm days. Auburnflame hadn't thought much of what Silversmoke had wanted to speak with him about, it was usual for the pair to roam the forest together and talk about nothing—or Silversmoke just being the ear that had to suffer from incessant ramblings about whatever crossed his mind. The lead warrior didn't look worried, in fact, he seemed like his usual self (apart from the stoicism that was usually shared with most of the clan). Auburnflame was one of the lucky few who got to see Silversmoke in his truest form, and it was a beautiful gift to be given. He relished in it, the softness like the first snow, chilling but yet welcoming.
Reaching their destined climax, he falters in his steps as Silversmoke did, only mere mouse-lengths behind the larger tom. Patterned ears would pull forward with the utmost attention, helm slightly tilted as he waited for his friend to speak. When Silversmoke comes to face him, a flutter of his heart had him swaying on patched paws—crescent pupils pulsing and widened like twin obsidian moons in a bath of seaglass green, gazing into the very earth and sea of his counterpart's. Look, I.... haven't been entirely honest with you.
The statement catches him off guard and he is silent, his tongue frozen in place and he can feel his own heart beginning to thrum like the beating of drums. What did that mean? Was something wrong? The calico shifts uneasily upon his paws and clears his throat, blushed nostrils flaring slightly. "Alright, what is it?" A voice that is soft, very much unlike his usual boisterous demeanor—a voice filling with a gnawing anxiety over whatever he had to say.

Finally, he speaks. As the words leave Silversmoke's tongue, all he can focus on are the pursing of black lips and the words that fall upon velveteen ears. A friend. A friend he was to Silversmoke. He had made it clear himself in more ways than one, not with words per say but actions. Auburnflame had always a knack for body language, ever observant even with his lively antics. His heart wanted to say what his mouth could not, for something would stop him everytime. Was it fear? A fear of the unknown? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that when Silversmoke left his side, nights grew colder like frost of Leaf-Bare. And when he was near, the calico's flame seemed to burn just a bit brighter. A kindling flame, waiting to breathe in the sweet decedent oxygen of his breath and roar into a blazing wildfire. Silversmoke voices this, and his skin tingles like live wires—the wintry hairs along his spine electrified and alive.

I... think I love you, that's love, isn't it?

A breath hitches in his throat as he speaks, finally—finally, he gets an answer he didn't realize he had yearned for. A confession of repressed feelings and it suddenly becomes clear. He remembers Jaggedcreek(NPC) taunting him about how close they had been and how tenderly that Silversmoke gazed upon him, how they had thought he may have feelings. Of course Auburnflame had scoffed, nudging that idea out of his mind. He had kept saying friends to him, never the latter. But it seems that the old warrior was right, and the calico is a bit shell-shocked from it. He continues to listen with a star-struck gaze, glacial eyes softening with each passing moment—the ferocity of his heart slamming against it's ivory cage and pleading to be let out lest it be torn asunder from the struggle.
Silence befalls upon them now and the world feels as if it's waiting with baited breath, the looming pines seem to close in on him and he can see stars. What does he say to such a powerful confession? His tongue is now ensnared within it's own ivory cage, but his mind is buzzing rapidly. He has to say something, he has to. Silversmoke draws near, his ghostly muzzle so close to his own—he can feel the warmth of his breath on ivory whiskers. Claws instinctively dig into the soil below him, anchoring him in place to keep him upright. I want to be the moon to your sun; I want to complete you, and for you to complete me. He swallows hard, noticeably gulping as his gaze lingers on soft lips so close to his own. He has to do something, has to reciprocate somehow. Slowly, ever so slowly, he leans in closer to the lead warrior—their whiskers barely brushing and he wants more. He wants to plant himself by Silversmoke's side for as long as he breathed life into his lungs. "I—" A stutter. He stutters at a time like this and his interior thoughts are going rampant now. Tell him. Tell him. Tell him now! His maw opens, though no words leave him. The moon to your sun. A dance of light and shadow, complete opposites yet go so good together. One is not complete without the other. Tell him dammit! His maw closes with an audible snap and brows crease together and he readies himself.

"Silversmoke, I—" Just as close as they once were, the warrior then leaves him and suddenly he feels cold. No! Instinctively a paw steps forward and glacial eyes are nothing but melted pools. He didn't want him to leave! Not now! "Don't!" He almost begs, his voice growing an octave higher. "Don't leave." Auburnflame finds his own courage, the tips of his ears near singed from the heat that flows through his veins. "I can not bear a moment without you with me. Everytime you walk away, even but for a moment—it feels as if you've doused the very flame from me and I'm colder without you beside me. I can't bear it. I can't bear another moment because I love you. I've loved you ever since we lazed about the river bed, sharing the warmth of the sun. You are more than just the moon to me, you are the stars and the very heavens." He's shaking. He doesn't know why, but he can't stop now. Every secret, every emotion is pouring from a cup that is over filled and he has to let it out. "When I thought that dog would come for you, StarClan themselves felt as if they carried my paws. I was so in fear, the fear of you possibly getting hurt or worse. When I told you that I would die protecting someone that I love, I meant it with the utmost declaration. I love you, Silversmoke. Starclan have mercy upon whomever would think of laying a claw upon you, for they be met with my claws at their throat." He closes the distance between them, his courage growing and he thrusts his muzzle into Silversmoke's own, nuzzling him before resting his forehead against his. "I want to be with you for all eternity. I love you, and you love me." And it is there that the sun and the moon would come together, forever entwined.
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[ SETTING FIRE TO THE SKY ]​