You better learn ✶ Orangestar

[Owlheart]

Romance was not something Owlpaw understood. Anything that came with it, crushes, dates, having mates, they were all uncharted territory for her. Sure she could ask her peers for advice, her littermates for example, but she was sure she would die from embarrassment from seeking advice from them or anyone really about this crisis she was having. She could always ask her mother about it, that was something that she used to do a lot as a kit but as she grew she found that she tried to avoid taking up too much of her mothers time. If anyone’s going to know what to do, it would be her. Owlpaw wasn’t sure if it was the fact that Orangestar was her mother or because she was Skyclans leader but she returned to a mentality that she used to have as a kit, convinced that she had all the answers in the world.

Hesitant paws stopped their diligent task of pacing around in a circle while Owlpaw was thinking. Said paws had decided to change their direction towards the leader's den, thinking about it, Owlpaw can’t recall if she had seen the inside of it. Not in recent moons anyhow, she tried to steer clear from anything that could potentially mean a visit to that den. She peered her head inside, perking up once she noticed her mother there. Seeing Orangestar gave her second thoughts, it really wasn’t something that she needed to bother her about. Surely she could figure it out on her own, right? The excuses were flimsy at best, even to Owlpaw. Seeing her mother made it feel real, like an unspoken point of no return, the actual point of no return was her confession though, and that had gone well, this was just supposed to make the future easier.

“Do you have a moment, mum?” She mewed in a soft tone, the nerves clear as day. With hesitance she moved closer into the den, hoping that giving herself a further distance from the exit would discourage her from losing her nerves and turning tail to run away. “If you’re busy that’s okay- I-I have a question- well I guess it’s more than just a question- I don’t know how to phrase it.” How do I even start this? She was fumbling over her words already, it was frustrating her to no end, her tail lashing out against the floor as she sighed.

It took a second, maybe a minute, Owlpaw wasn’t really counting, before she opened her maw to try speaking again. “Uh so, I like Crowpaw, a lot. We went on a date. I don’t- I don’t really understand what that means? I don’t understand what any of it means really. I just know that I liked it…” She trailed off, mind swept up on that night, caught up on the feeling of rubbing her cheek against Crowpaws, the sound of his purrs. She blinked, remembering where she was, that weird fluttering feeling returning “how do you know if you want to be mates with someone? Is there another word I should be using? I don't get it, it's confusing. I don’t know what to do.” She hadn’t felt this clueless in a while, it was a really humbling experience for her. Owlpaw’s gaze was fixated onto her front paws, she trying her best to not overthink this, it wasn’t really working but she was trying.

@Orangestar

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[Orangestar]

The whisk of Owlpaw's tail disturbs a couple of stray leaves, and Orangestar watches them whirl to the edge of her den with a curious eye. She has never seen her youngest daughter so agitated. What was this about? Her assessment? Orangestar could personally confirm that Owlpaw would be paired up with one of the kinder souls among her council, her mental sorting already done for the occasion, and-

I like Crowpaw, a lot. Orangestar's eyes dart out of her den, looking for the familiar dark pelt among the SkyClanners meandering arounf their home. Crowpaw? Bobbie's kit? The same Crowpaw who had referred to Orangestar as Cherrypaw's pretty mom rather than her real name for moons on end? It seems like an odd pairing. Orangestar, however, has never really been intuitive when it comes to potential pairings. StarClan knew she hadn't seen Ashenclaw as a potential mate until he'd practically confessed.

"... I ... think you're too young, to be taking a mate. That's a term warriors use when they're serious about pairing up with another. You're padding after him, then?" Orangestar touches her tongue to the scars at her maw, and gestures for the distressed apprentice to curl up by her side. Like she had done when they were kits, when Owlpaw had found a thorn in her nest or a stray insult from a denmate having gone too far. "What do you think about Crowpaw? What do you like about him?"

ooc ✧ 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦

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  ORANGESTAR ✧ she/her, leader of skyclan | nine lives
  " a scarred white-and-ginger she-cat with brown eyes."
  
  — single ; mentoring springpaw
  — speech is in #E3B2A9
  — tags | art by pin
  

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[Owlheart]

Padding, that was something that she had heard discussed around camp. She didn't really know what it meant. Though, Owlpaw supposed she didn't actually know what a mate truly was either until Orangestar explained it to her.

“What's padding?” she stared at her mother with wide eyes, surprised by the gesture. At first she thought that she had dreamed that but she quickly realised that wasn't the case. Hesitantly, she followed her mothers guidance and curled up by her side. It was foreign to be doing this after so long, yet it brought her comfort. Relief washed over Owlpaw and she sighed, resting her head against her front paws.

Her mother's question brings her pause, what does she like about Crowpaw? For once it wasnt really a subject that she had to overthink. “I think he's really kind, I like when he talks about birds because he gets really happy when he talks about it and that makes me really happy. Did you know that his first real attempt to climb a tree was also for a bird? His was a bluejay” It took a lot to not ramble about the subject forever, there were a lot of things she liked about him. Owlpaw wasn't sure if there was a limit on how much she should say. This battle of course, was a lost one because she opened her maw and continued.

“I think he's funny, I relax a little bit more than usual when I talk to him. Except for sometimes? Sometimes my heart beats really fast and I get warm? I'm not sure if that's something I should see Dawnglare or Fireflypaw about.” It was relieving that Crowpaw had the same experience when she told him about it but what if they were both sick?

“I like that he's honest with me, I know that I can trust him and I like that. He also talks without thinking, which was really relieving to hear because I do that a lot. He just seems to really understand me? I like that he makes me laugh and I like when he smiles at me and that he's really sweet and-”

Oh, she was rambling again. Curling up a little closer to Orangestar's side she tries to hide her face in embarrassment. “I just.. I like him, I guess? I think all of him is pretty great. You've felt like this before, right?” The unspoken question of ‘is this normal?’ was on the tip of her tongue but she kept that one quiet, she would rather not ask and leave it unanswered then potentially be told that it wasn’t.​

 

[Orangestar]

"You know, like-" Orangestar makes a kneading motion with her paws, like she's taking measured steps towards someone. An indication, a wanting to be by their side but unsure if they wanted to remain there. She quiets as Owlpaw continues, angling her ears forward to

"A very long time ago, when I was your age and before SkyClan was even a glimmer in StarClan's sparkly mind," she begins a rare story with a small measure of amusement, "I had planned to go padding after Squallmist."

Owlpaw would know him now as one of the Clan's gruff, standoffish warriors. He had always been blunt, but protective. Sturdy, a constant. Orangestar had, at first, supported his claim to leadership as Rain's son. She is glad now that Blazestar had come out on top, but in her youth the headstrong Squall had been the sort of cat she wanted to settle down with. She expects some incredulity over the admission, Owlpaw having only ever seen her romantic interlude with Ashenclaw.

"It was a passing feeling, but that fondness has remained. What you've described is how I felt, even if it was only for a little while ... but don't try to quash it. If he makes you happy, and treats you well, that is important." Not like she had.

"Crowpaw is a good tom." Orangestar concludes, a leisurely flick of her tail accompanying the assessment. "You don't need to go to Dawnglare or Fireflypaw about it, but Fireflypaw will listen if you think you need to talk about it. Just- just don't rush into it. Does he feel the same?"​

 

[Owlheart]

Owlpaw’s ears perk up, along with the rest of her head at the sound of a story beginning to form. She could cease wallowing over her feelings very easily if that meant that she got to listen to her mother talk, there was that weird nostalgic feeling again. One of being a kit and curling up whenever she could, the tabby didn’t realise that she missed it until now. Her eyes, normally wide and full of wonder, narrow in suspicion. “Really? Squallmist? Why him?” Her disbelief wasn’t hostile in any means. She just tried to picture in her mind the idea of her mother and him together, it was difficult to see. Then again, a large number of her council was with gruff and standoffish warriors so it wasn’t like she couldn’t see her spending time with him at all.

It just felt weird, as she got older she understood that cats can have different partners over time. Maybe it was childish of her but she just couldn’t imagine that her mother and her father seeing other cats before each other. While she didn’t really understand the concept of true love or those kinds of fantastical stories she had that tunnel vision that comes with being a child. Her mother has lived a long life before herself and her littermates were born, sometimes she forgot that and every time she was reminded of that fact it confused her. The idea of her padding after Squallmist was foreign, but she was willing to push back her distaste for the idea so that she could properly understand the message behind the story that she was being told.

“How did you know it was passing?” she paused, pawing at the ground below her absentmindedly. “Did you quash it?” There was more to her question, initially thinking to ask ‘do you regret it?’ but she decided she didn’t want to actually hear the answer to that. Owlpaw looked away at Orangestar’s conclusion, shuffling so she could sit a little closer by her mothers side. It was relieving to hear that this wasn’t something that she had to visit the medicine cat den over.

“I won’t. Rush into it I mean. And I think so- he didn’t realise that he asked me on a date at first but…” she trailed off, reflecting on the night prior. She was pretty certain that he felt the same, he’s the one who initiated anything beyond words when he rubbed his cheek against hers. That wouldn’t happen if he didn’t, right? “He said that he likes me, and that when he thinks about me he’s happy… So I hope that means that he feels the same” She spoke softly, an awkward laugh following that.

There was a brief moment where she fell into contemplative silence, maw twisting into an indescribable expression, somewhat like a frown yet not quite. Owlpaw paused to look up at her mother, wide unblinking eyes searching for something that she did not seem to find. “Do you… think you’ll ever feel that way again?” she worried for her mother, wondering if it got lonely being a leader. ​