backwritten YOU CAN ALWAYS COME HOME // Pitchstar

[LlLACPAW]

[This takes place sometime after Betony and Lilac's incident, but before the Blizzard!]

These past few moons hadn't been easy for any of them, there was no easy way to deal with a wolf you couldn't see blowing your straw house down before you could make it wood or even brick. There was no way to deal with being an orphan, much less being put in charge of not only your baby siblings, but an entire clan of cats who needed you to ensure their survival alongside your family's. Lilac couldn't even begin to imagine the stress. She could see how it was beginning to affect Pitch though, and perhaps for a time that's all she'd need to know.

His den reeked, smelling like the rotten pages of a long forgotten story, and that may as well have been true for the tom who both ran from the past and clung to it like a threadbare blanket. It makes her eyes water as they peer into the darkness, green shining with what little light caught at the entrance. "Pitch?" She phrases it more as asking for permission to come in, rather than confirming he's there in the shadows. "Can..can we talk?"

@PITCHSTAR ​

 

[PITCHSTAR]

it's true, that stress is taking its toll on the rosette tabby. anyone could see it in the bags gathering beneath copper eyes, could hear it in the bitterness that coats his words, could sense it in the societal absence that comes with locking himself away in his den. brooding, pacing the length of the interior, shredding at his nest with nervous claws. afraid to be vulnerable enough to sleep, yet wanting nothing more than to be swallowed by the oblivion of eyelids shut tight.

sometimes, he finds company even in the solitude of his den. or, rather, company finds him. it is usually chilledgaze, coming to report the goings of patrols, which pitchstar is almost ashamed to admit that he rarely pays attention to. or it is starlingheart, sweet as his little medicine cat is, checking in on him. but today, it is lilacpaw. he could recognize his baby sister's meek voice in the midst of a chattering crowd, he swears it. pitchstar tears his gaze away from the stone wall, flattened ears perking up. "li?" his voice is hoarse, and the rosette tabby clears his throat. lilacpaw is asking to talk with him, and immediately, his mind goes to the worst possibility. he sways as he rises to his paws too fast for his deteriorating physical condition, teeth baring- not at lilacpaw, but at the poisonous thoughts swimming behind his skull. "what is it? did betonyfrost- she hurt you again, didn't she?!" or is it someone else? another traitor? pitchstar regains some clarity in his hollow gaze, moving closer to his baby sister to try and find the wounds he's certain she's sustained from someone. scenting the stale air to seek out the perpetrator's smell.​

 

[LlLACPAW]

She stumbles forward as her brother sways on his feet, meeting the tom halfway as if her smaller form could even hope to hold his up if he started falling. "No-No no I'm fine I promise!" Lilacpaw rushes to assuage his worries, moving to press her unwounded cheek to his fur in attempt to calm him, even though the proximity makes her want to gag. "I just...I miss you. You never come out unless its for work and I'm worried." She pulls back to look him, take in the sullenness of his features as memories try to overlap and correct his face. The deputy who would be dragged to watch her little plays....he is no longer within her brother's face, but the kit who would perform for him is no longer in hers either.

"Have you eaten anything? Drank?" She knows that prey is scarce, but the horrors her mind provided before the fresh kill pile became almost nonexistent still haunts her. Its something she doesn't want to come to pass, not if she can help it, even if she seems overbearing. Too much had happened and even if this motivation was selfish...she couldn't lose Pitchstar too. It would hurt too much, Shadowclan wouldn't feel like home anymore.​