you did everything just right [ redstorm ]

[sheepcurl]

It feels as if it has been months since she had talked with Blazestar after the fateful meeting, about her jealousy, the burning feeling that she got. Blazestar had called it love, had said so himself and she had come to terms with it, but only for a few days. There wasn't any point in it and it was only proven after Centipede's death, Leopard's death. It's such a fickle thing, and it wasn't supposed to bother her like most things don't, but it does, and it gets under her skin. There were a few moments when she closed her eyes that she saw his body in their place, made up a scene in her mind for Centipede and Stars was it getting just so tiring.

Shes been staying later, getting up earlier and it was obvious she had not been getting enough sleep, often coming to camp with a distant look in her eyes or frazzled fur. She'd brush it off with a laugh when confronted, she couldn't have her own apprentice worry about her after all, couldn't have any of her friends worry about her. It finally comes to a breaking point as she pushes in to camp barely at the crack of dawn, fur prickling with swirling emotions (she has to be calm, she doesn't feel like herself), yellow eyes dull, she searches for him. She searches for her best friend, for his embrace, slightly wobbling on her paws as she regains control of her breathing.

She spots him, hurries before she attempts to push herself taught against him, tears brimming in her eyes. "I'm sorry. Lo siento, lo siento." she fights back a full-fledged sob, heaving a breath, she was fine, its fine, hes here, hes here. She can only hope he accepts her apology, but she gets it. She had taken time to herself, selfishly, hadn't told him. Maybe Blazestar was right.​

"speech"​

 

[REDSTORM !]

The flame pointed tom does not know what he has done to loose such an important friend, does not know why she has pushed him away, but if Churro wanted space from him he would respect her wishes, she could come back to him in her own time. But it hurt, he would not deny that it hurt. He would watch her walk into camp, bright blue eyes focused in on the dusty brown she-cat whose over-affectionate touches he had grown so used to, that he yearns for now. She looks to be in rough shape most days, eyes heavy and a barely concealed frown and he so desperately wants to go to her, to ask what is wrong or what he did to make her look away whenever their eyes met across the camp but he holds himself back.

The recent deaths have left him frazzled, his paws itching for revenge. For Centipedepaw he wants to find every rogue out there and tear into their throats, for Leopardcloud he wants to scream at the sky, demand the stars that they give her back. He knows what it is like to loose a sibling. Hers should not have learned so young. His mind is abuzz, it makes it hard to sleep through the entire morning and so he carefully makes his way out of the den at the sign of first light, stepping over still sleeping bodies and standing in the open, head slightly tilted to look at the rising sun, marveling at the colors.

He feels her before he sees her. She almost knocks the wind out of him when she presses against him, her body a beacon of warmth in the cold. Puzzled he looks down at the smaller she cat. She is apologizing but he thought he had been the one to do wrong. "There's nothing to be sorry for" he murmurs as he rests his head gently on top of hers, inhaling, relieved that whatever had happened to keep them separate was over. "I missed you" he says quietly then pulls back a little to meet her gaze with a worried expression "Wh-what happened? Why were you avoiding me?" He is almost afraid of the answer, whatever it was, but he needed to know. Whatever it was he would fix it, he's certain. For her.
​

 

[sheepcurl]

He rests his head on top of hers and speaks warmly, comforting. It brings her back to happier times, where all she had to worry about was her next cuddle session, where all she had to worry about was when she had to return to her twolegs. The tears that slip from the corners of her eyes are silent, but instead of sorrow, its bittersweet happiness. Redstorm, he had been her favorite friend, grown in to her favorite person, her favorite in general. She pushes herself further in to him as if he’d slip from her side, as if she’d find him dead, she’s so tired of pretending everything was fine- but he’s there to catch her tears and she still somehow feels selfish. He says he missed her and she swallows incredibly hard, nearly missing it with how stuck in her own head she was. He missed her, he missed her- her minds racing and her heart beat quickens, oh dear, her face flushes despite the rolling tears.

Then he asks the dreaded question. He pulls back, just a couple inches and stares at her, her stomachs churning. I love you, its on the tip of her tongue as yellow eyes meet blue. I love you. Blazestar was right, he was right. She loved him, she truly did, through everything they have been through, through thick and thin, she loved him. I love you! She remembers the pain they have gone through, his wail upon finding his brother dead, how she so desperately wished she could take his pain away, how she had thought to beg Dawnglare to talk to the Stars. "I lo-" despite her revelation, the words catch in her throat. She has never said this, not to anyone, I mean- she told Flan she loved him, told Sopapilla, but this was different. Her love with Red lies beyond family adoration, he was the one she wanted to spend all of her time with. She hiccups, pulls away suddenly as the tips of her ears burn. Just say it, just say it already! Gosh, why did this have to be so hard?

She hesitates before coming back, resting her forehead against his. Where she feels like she belongs, tangled up besides him, snuggled and safe. "Just- don’t leave. Please." her voice for once is meek, quiet. She wants to tell him, wants to tell him so bad, but the fear of rejection and the awkwardness of the situation has a grip on her throat. Her heads swimming in so many emotions, and- "I love you Red! I love you, I love you, te amo, te amo." and in her most vulnerable moment it falls from her mouth like a waterfall, unceremoniously embarrassing and not how she wanted her confession to go. “I was jealous. And then- then I talked to Blazestar, and he told me what it was." she outwardly cringes. "And i’m so afraid of losing you. I don’t know what i’d do." its quiet, but shes so afraid of losing him like they lost Centipede, Haze, Leopard. Blazestar, who died twice already.

Churro braces herself for his reaction and part of her wants him to yell at her, tell her that her behavior was selfish. The other part of her wants to throw her arms around him, never let him go, stay up late together, maybe have a family. Something she could call theirs, something they could build together, and desperately she searches his face despite their closeness. Please, she begs inwardly, please just say something.​

"speech"​

 

[REDSTORM !]

She leans into him further and he rests his head on hers, he would give her all the time she needed to think, to cry, to hate him even if that’s what she wanted. Oh but to hear that she did not resent him, that he hadn’t messed up and that everything was okay, it lifted his heart. She pulls away, ever so slightly, and she looks him in the eyes. He looks back. Her yellow eyes are brimming with more tears, the fur on her cheeks stained but still she is the most beautiful cat he has ever seen.

She moves into him again, tells him not to leave. He almost laughs. Where would he go? Sky Clan was his home, she was his home. He is about to say so but then the words are pouring from her mouth so fast. Love. She loves him. He freezes. He knows what it is to love someone who is not family. Rain had not been family. Haze and Squall either. But he had loved them all the same. They were brothers to him, though not by blood they had never seen the difference. This is different from the love he had felt for them though. He knows it. He knows he loves her. How else could he explain why whenever he saw her he never wanted to let her out of his sight, why he would throw himself away to protect her, or why he yearned to sleep next to her every night. He was drawn to her in a way that he was not drawn to anyone else. At first the feelings could be explained away, she was his best friend, of course he cared for her. But when he looked at Blazestar with his mate, with his kits, he found himself wanting that for himself. Wanting that with her. "I love you too Churro, I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me you’re not going to loose me" he says quietly, almost a whisper, afraid of his voice breaking. "Im not going anywhere." he repeats, his voice certain, strong. He had never been more sure of anything in his life. "You couldn’t pay me with all the squirrels in the forest to leave you" it’s a bad attempt at a joke but the corners of his mouth lift slightly. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll let me" he says, this time more serious, his tone going back to quiet, gentle, sky colored eyes on her as he waits for her reply and heart thudding in his chest. He had never been more certain of anything on his life.
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