pafp You know I talk too much | checking in

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

It’s been a long moon since windclan’s raid on their camp, and Snakeblink has not stood still for much of it. Hunting, patrolling, checking on clanmates, making sure everyone keeps eating and takes breaks, patching up dens and planning future attacks… Sometimes it feels like he hasn’t laid down a second since that battle, and that if he stopped his paws would immediately pop right off and take off running lest he puts them back to work. It’s tiring, which he considers to be a bonus. He’s not sleeping any better than usual, but at least now when he does he’s far too exhausted to dream.

Looking at Clayfur’s weary frame, he believes he’s not the only one plagued with nightmares of recent events. Although his are filled more with the flashing teeth of Thunderclan warriors than that of moor runners, the pain remains similar enough. But he knows, looking at the once-sunny tom’s grief-stricken face, that it’s in no way equal.

In many ways Clearsight’s death was a turning point for the clan, but he worries of the impact it had on the tom’s mate in particular. Even more so since the Sunningrock’s squirmish, which only seemed to pile more weight on the other tabby’s back — he believes the stones had a particular meaning to him and his lost mate? Either way, Snakeblink has taken to checking up on him more regularly than the rest of the clan, albeit not always outright — hovering near, pushing prey nearer in the hope of inspiring some appetite in the tom. They’re… friendly, he believes. Clayfur certainly seemed to like him well enough before, surprisingly: if he has seemed withdrawn and bitter lately, Snakeblink wants to believe it’s only grief, and not something he did himself. At least he doesn’t think he did anything worthy of scorn recently…

Today seems especially dark, perhaps because of the weather — the sky is heavy with clouds, threatening rain that has yet to fall, and the mood in camp seems just as overcast. It spurs him into approaching Clearsight for a more direct… wellness check. A friendly face usually makes any bad day a little easier, right?

”Ah, Clayfur,” he greets, tilting his head politely as he pads up to the warrior. ”Just the cat I was looking for. I’m heading to the river— you know how rain brings out all the fish. Would you like to accompany me?”

His quirks an awkward smile, eyes darting away, and adds, ”It’s no Sunningrock, I’m afraid, but… it’s not like the weather would permit sunbathing, anyway. Nonetheless, fresh air does wonders for the mind, hm?”

——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely
  • ooc: please wait for @CLAYFUR >:)
  • Snakeblink • he / him. 40 ☾, riverclan warrior
    — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
    — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo


 
Gloomy days have become even more so for the tired brown and white tom. With each oncoming storm he’s reminded of what he’s lost, and it’s much easier to just lie down and pretend he doesn’t exist for a few hours than it is to stand, to face the memories that flash through his mind when he looks up at those dark clouds. But today, a clanmate approaches, and Clay stares blankly up at him until he starts speaking, asking Clay to join him to go fishing. "Oh," he starts, but pauses as Snake continues talking. The other tom mentions sunningrocks, and something in his chest clenches painfully. He says sunbathing—as if that’s the only reason sunningrocks is special. As if that’s what Clay should be mad about.

He should leave it alone, he thinks. He should let it go. But instead, he fixes Snakeblink with a dull glare. "Of course it’s no sunningrocks," he scoffs. It’s your fault. It’s your fault we lost them, because you’re a coward. He killed their leader; they could have driven ThunderClan off if only Snakeblink wasn’t such a coward, hadn’t called a retreat when he had. "Don’t act like you actually care. You let them take it." He grits his teeth, forcing back more biting words. Coward or not, fool or not; Snakeblink is still a superior in some way. So he reels in a few choice words, but his tail still lashes with the irritation, with the hurt that floods his body.

He stares at his paws for a long moment, unable to meet the other warrior’s eye. "Did you know that’s where we became mates?" He finally asks, swallowing harshly around the lump in his throat. It’s not just a sunbathing spot. He could nearly choke on the wave of bitterness that crawls up his throat, wraps around his teeth. As soon as the words leave his mouth, though, he feels himself calm, if only a bit.

He could definitely use some fresh air, a leasurely fishing trip alongside the lead warrior—he likes Snakeblink, despite all the other tom’s glaring flaws, despite how he’d so easily given up on their sunningrocks. But he’s not… he can’t keep letting these feelings grow, letting them fester like an old wound. They’re infected, and if he isn’t careful they’ll end up killing him. He likes Snakeblink, and cats make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes are glaring and awful but there’s nothing that can be done about them. He’s still RiverClan. "Let’s go, then." As long as you won’t tell me to retreat as soon as you catch a fish you can’t handle.
[ YOU ARE THE STARS TO ME ]
 
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